i shall not stop writing.

That was a short message I just sent out in facebook awhile ago.

The one said that I have a mid-facebook-life crisis, in that, I am acting as if someone who has a mid-life crisis... someone who's suddenly considering and thinking so much about something she has been doing all these while and questioning the reasons for it, even to the point of re-considering newer habits as I've lost faith in certain things due to stuff I've been receiving, reading or/and seeing.

All of a sudden, I feel that facebook is filled with pretentious people (moi included). You have friends whom you label as 'friends' yet some of them are privileged to view everything you put up about yourself while some of them are unable to view your wall, your full profile or your entire photo album. Heck, I am not just talking about others but I, too, have people whom I segregate to Family, Friends, Best Buddies, Blogger Friends and one particular group I named 'Questionable' who are unable to view my wall and can only read my notes without being able to comment on them because I don't fancy their views and not bothered about letting them know how I feel, yet I am unable to delete them off my Friends list because they are either family members, relatives or a friend whom I do not want to burn the bridges with.

So, that makes me pretentious too?

Heck, I am not a pretentious person because that is so not me. But circumstances in life sometimes forces you to be that way because you need to consider someone else's feelings... and while you do that, I feel some sort of insincerity... and being insincere tires me to the bones, being someone who thrives on principles.

Then, there are those whom I 'hide' on my Recent News wall. They are my friends, but I dislike reading their status because they would either create awkwardness to people reading their status or that they make my blood boil with never-ending stupid/rude comments on politics and personal stuff regarding their partners or their ex, giving out pathetic excuses to obtain constant attention and grabbing people to join them in easy money-making quests.

I know everyone's into facebook and I have to admit that it is a very good social and networking tool. In fact, I have been using facebook so actively because it is the only window to my networking and keeping-in-touch-with-friends ability. I stay at home all day. I work from home. I see no one at times. I go out only with my little jj and I only meet my family day in day out. Therefore, facebook is my only window to the outside world... I keep in touch very well on facebook... I get involved in many of what's happening to my friends through their status updates while I totally ignore other's updates whom I do not hide which I don't quite bother because I don't pretty much care about them but have nothing against them.

Previously, I would just delete people off my list especially those who dare request me to add them into my list of friends but never bothered to even write me a message and put in any efforts to keep in touch with a simple hi or how have you been or what have you been doing questions. But, I realised that many people get easily offended by that gesture of deletion and got me into thinking and re-considering my bold actions because there is nothing wrong about adding them and keeping them in my list as I could just easily segregate them into groups. Thus, allowing more control of what they can view and what they can't, until later on when we have more time to chat and they earn my trust.

Now, with 444 friends in my list and further editing controls to my privacy, I suddenly felt sick. Because I don't need over 400 friends and always worried who would misuse their access to my hoards of photographs. I mean, I never thought I even have 400 friends whom I can call, friends. So, yes, all of a sudden, I do feel sick with it. The pretentiousness.

I have been feeling this way since over a week ago when a sudden bout of low hit me. Could it be due to the age factor, coming to a certain phase in my life? I dunno...

I am lucky enough to just name a handful of friends whom I can depend on but 400?

I have a long lost friend who was so happy to see me again in facebook and we reminisced on old times and the things that I saw her went through... but when the time came to meet up, there were an endless bout of excuses of why she can't see me and that got to me... I mean, why bother.

Then, there were some people who were never even fond of me in Uni and were very clear with me on that then and all of a sudden expects me to add them into my circle of friends. Like, what the...

Do I really have 400 friends? And if you add someone, does that necessarily earn a friendship badge? And if you strike a friend off your list, does that make you both non-friends? Does it make you less of a friend or is that just plain normal and acceptable because in real life, we also unconsciously categorise our friends - with whom we trust more compared to the rest?

It's just that categorising subconsciously compared to putting it clearly online for the user makes it seem more pretentious. For me, at least.

So, like this is just a phase for me? Questioning all these. Does this mean I am going to move away slowly from my online presence there or will this be applied to everything else?

Why am I feeling this all of a sudden? Why am I suddenly affected by this?

Amy, Mira, Goolymama, Nina :)

Thank you so much to dearest Cik Lily Putih because she thinks I am a nice person. Then again, I am nice to her even if I may not be that nice to others. I know that there's nothing wrong about being nice but I find that many people do not deserve to be treated nicely because a lot of people loves to take advantage of people they think are nice. Hence, I guess this award is dedicated to my friends whom I am nice to... because I am sure many people do not agree with this award ;P

3) Answer these questions...

1. What is playing in your head right now?
Oh no oh no what's the time now... must get ready for lunch and then sending my eldest to school and then lunch for little jj and then bla bla bla.....

2. Your nickname?
Toughcookie / Beskot

3. Name 3 people you love most.
My husband, my children, my parents.

4. The name you call your dearest...
Will not be disclosed.

5. What is the present you've always wanted from that someone special...
Too many to mention hehe...

6. Which blogs do you like to visit that I can also follow?

7. Tag 15 more friends for this award.

I just dropped my eldest at school earlier on... everyone in his school is supposed to attend their Teachers' Day do in the morning, including those sitting in the afternoon session. He told me that attendance was compulsory but many of his friends weren't attending. Therefore, I asked him if he wanted to go.

Well, I guess knowing that friends are getting more important in his life now, he definitely felt he needed to go to school. So, off we went and I saw that the school was still pretty empty. What worried me was when I saw a couple (this boy and a girl) leaving the school compound, looking back over their shoulders as if trying to make sure that their parents (maybe?) didn't see them while they walked out probably going out on a date.

*gosh*

I mean, I would rather that my kids run back home instead of sneak out like that.. aren't they too young to go out together?

But then again, times have changed and I wouldn't want to control my kids from wanting to explore making friends and socialising since I myself grew up feeling awkward since I was overly protected by my parents and didn't get to go out with friends until I finished my SPM exams. In the end, I wasn't smart in my social skills and was too trusting of people.

But but but... I would be really worried if my children would sneak out on a school day. I mean, I would at least expect them to tell me that they do not wish to go to school (in events like today) and would want to hang out with friends who weren't going to school. Of course, which parents would allow that, huh? Yeah... maybe not... guess that was why those two kids sneaked out.

Oh, I dunno... hanging out with the right circle of friends is so important. At least back then, I didn't have friends who taught me to lie to my parents and they never pressured me into going out with them. Nowadays, I feel the need to get to know the parents whose children are friends with my eldest but sadly, many of them are not even aware of their kids' wellbeing, or so they say about their parents.

My only hope if my son does that in the future is for him to be able to make the right decisions for him and the girl he's out with, to just make it an innocent outing at McD's and ice cream afterwards, and then head back in time for school to end. But then again, as they say, one starts with innocent moments like this for it to develop into something more experimental which may or may not get out of hand. Oh, I am now, SUPER SCARED.

Is there a Being A Good Parent for Dummies guide? Gosh... this is one stage where I need to learn quick...

Made my way with my little tote (little jj, I mean) to Ikea over lunch today to meet a friend, Ros, who was showing me some stuff she was selling.

I had just added her in my fb friends list after meeting her while I visited a friend at the hospital. I've bumped into Ros a few times before but we never got to chat the way we did that day. So, after she had confirmed my request to add her, I went browsing away her fb page and discovered that she owns a blog selling authentic american brand goods.

Anyway, in my haste to get everything done in the morning - like feeding little jj, getting everyone ready, getting myself ready and sending the little munchkin to school, I reached Ikea only to realise that I forgot little jj's baby bag. And I hate when that happens!

See, it is a norm every time we leave the house - that I am usually busy with little jj and my eldest is entrusted with the responsibility to carry his little sister's baby bag. But I guess he had forgotten all about it this morning and since I was so engrossed with chasing after little jj before she gets into the elevator alone, I totally didn't see the lack of one more bag in my eldest's hands.

I was stumped when I couldn't find the bag. Because I had already reached my destination and I have parked the car. What made it worse was that I brought my little handbag instead of my usual large one that contains the entire house :( hehe... almost.

But, in a split second, I decided that I would just meet Ros and rush back home as soon as we're done. After all, I had given little jj milk just before we left the house, I had changed her diaper as well and the things I was worried about was her top getting dirty at lunch as I didn't have her bib, the absence of her favourite water tumbler and if she did a number 2 - which were all points that I deemed manageable, if they did occur.

Oh, but little jj gave me a pleasant surprise, though... she behaved so well and my concerns were unfounded. I placed her in the high chair at Ikea's cafe and she played on her own while I bought lunch. I know she likes fries and I ordered the famous Swedish Meatballs that comes with fries. For her drink, I got her the Spritzer Mineral Water and made sure I got a straw as well. When I got back to the table, she was all quiet minding her own business and Ros and another friend, Aje, were also surprised that little jj didn't cry for me. Wahhh... she's a big girl already *sob sob*

So, I had my meatballs and little jj ate away her fries while I chat away with Ros and Aje. In the middle of it, I fed her my meatballs and little jj truly loved it... so much so that she totally rejected the fries I gave her after that and only wanted the meatballs :) She was so full after the last piece of meatball and she then started to get cranky as she wanted to sleep. Thankfully, I was already done by then. All in all, I think I had a good 1 1/2 hours before I had to grant her my full attention.

Anyway, in the end, I didn't get anything from Ros although I initially thought I would get this sling bag from her. It looked really gorgeous to me but after I tried it on me, it didn't really complement me due to its relatively large size compared to my petite frame. The sling can be adjusted to a handbag but it defeats the purpose since I know I will never use it as a handbag.

Ros also brought other stuff like other types of bags, wallets and even a collared-T. I felt very tempted to get at least one other stuff from her but I realised that I cannot lose focus. I think I've been going on a shopping spree these couple of months and I think I should really stop doing that... I mean, I am worried of this inability to control myself where I cannot stop shopping, and always using the excuse that I haven't been shopping much for myself for the 18 months since little jj was born... that I wasn't able to do anything much until recently when she weaned off of me. There's really no end to shopping and the needs that I keep wanting to fulfill!

So... when I realised this particular factor just a couple of weeks ago, I started to see that having self-control is a form of self empowerment that can make you feel just as good.

Yes, you may be able to afford those things you buy but if you don't really need them in the first place, it may be wiser to keep your mind focused and move on to what's more important in life.

I think I sorta already filled that void I was feeling for the many things I had to sacrifice. I know you may think it isn't much but to those who know me well, and know how much I love the beautiful things in life like dressing up and taking care of my skin, visits to the hair salon and all things vain, the fact that I had pushed them all far back in order to tend to a very clingy baby (and also because money is better spent on the kids anyways), 18 months seem to be a huge achievement for me.

I had so much fun shopping the last couple of months and got plenty of new stuff since I saw my size [almost] returning to normal. I still can't fit into my old clothes and I am too small to fit in those large non-maternity attires I wore during my pregnancy... so you can imagine the many stuff I got to fill the void in my cupboard. But that need didn't go away and I kept going shopping, at times not even bothered about the price tags.

So, with the realisation that it's time to stop as I've enough new clothes, make up and skincare products to get by for another year (yeah yeah... we'll see), I am now keeping my mind focused on this promise I made to myself.

And... since that sling bag wasn't suited for vertically challenged moi, I guess I shouldn't let myself be tempted to spend on other stuff unnecessarily. Gosh... that felt good. I think! ;P

Now, over to more important matters... :)

Last Thursday, I managed to meet up with a friend whom I have not seen in years. Well, actually we did bump into each other many times in KLCC or the KL Convention Centre after I got married but those were brief hi's and ho's and not any proper meet. Therefore, we'd say that our proper meet was on my wedding day almost 3 years ago :)

I went over to see her at Pantai Hospital, Bangsar and I could see how vivacious she was despite having gone through a 28-hour labour and hoards of people visiting her non-stop. So, I would like to again congratulate Zeeda for the birth of her beautiful Zarya Jane Harris on 21 April 2010. She and her hubby had been waiting so long for her arrival and Alhamdulillah... the Almighty answered their prayers.

the proud umi and her baby... i didn't get to see Zarya that day as she was kept under observation due to jaundice.

I remembered how not too long ago, Zeeda was a little frustrated with her inability to conceive that she couldn't even read my blog anymore. I guess my happiness and excitement being pregnant with little jj just 6 months after my marriage made it difficult for her to accept.

Frankly, I would never really understand the feelings of people who has difficulties getting pregnant simply because I never experienced it myself. When it comes to a topic like this, it becomes very sensitive to a lot of women and the pressures of our society doesn't make it any easier for them.

When a friend shares with me on her frustrations on this issue, I would feel a little awkward because though I can be a good listener, I would feel extremely helpless. I do not know what to say to a friend to make her feel better because what I say might either be construed as totally insensitive (because I do not totally understand their situation) or my response sounds too cliched.

So, in view of this, one blogger has come up with the Trying to Conceive Club (TTC Club Malaysia) that acts as a forum or a one-stop platform for you to obtain information on fertility options or simply to express your frustrations to those who share the same predicament.

According to Little Mama, the founder of this Club, she is not a medical specialist to give advise on medical conditions but she has gone through most of the fertility methods available to her and she could probably offer some words of consolation where she acts as Counselor. I've read some of the threads in the forum and the information available are pretty decent and informative, down to the breakdown of costs in a private hospital and the steps of going through a fertility treatment.

I guess with this establishment, it can provide a more suitable channel for those in need of advise but do not really know where they should start. I believe the most important factor is the ability to share your feelings with those who truly understand and will not judge you while you also do not put a spot on friends who are just so scared to say anything for fear of saying the wrong things.

I say, kudos, to Little Mama for this effort. It may look small to some but I do believe it will be pretty helpful to those in need of opinions and guidance.

If you're in my list of friends in facebook, you might either get infected with my current 'sickness' or you might think that I am crazy. Haha...

Yes........ I am in love, currently... so in love.

With the recent distasteful affliction brought on to my family, we've all agreed that the experience has made us even stronger. With the one getting his spirits back after a PS3 binge, I on the other hand found an email by Malaysia Airlines Enrich an avenue to rid off those negative energy and stress. The email was timely, notifying me of a 20% discount for tickets to Babyface Live in KL concert this Friday! Woohoo...!!

Now, I have never really been that eager to go to any concerts simply because I don't quite like getting into overly crowded places and I always felt that listening to their albums is sufficient. But I dunno... with all that's happened recently, I just felt that I needed to do something to make me feel all swell again, and take care of myself the way no one else would.

So, yeah... I am treating myself to this exciting event and am so happy that my best friend, Nicole, has agreed to accompany me to this concert. Gosh, I am still so elated with this whole thing... and it's funny that even she wasn't aware of Babyface coming to town. And since my car only plays MJ's hits due to little jj's demand for familiarity as she's gotten so hooked on to his songs, I have been going into youtube to get my dose of Babyface while I work on my computer. I know I am so gonna cry my heart out this Friday to let go of any sorrows in my heart but especially because his songs and voice are just so beautiful to listen to... I am sure those memories of the past will come flooding especially when I think of those close friends of mine who grew with me during my uni years when listening to Babyface (and falling in love with him!) was something we shared together :)

The one asked me why he wasn't the first person I thought of to accompany me to the concert... *erkksss* and he laughed instantly when I asked him to sing some of the songs from Babyface haha... gotcha. I can't possibly let him see me drool over Babyface and it's good to know that he know nuts about any of his songs haha....

And while I got them tickets for this Friday at 1 Utama's Axcess ticket outlet, I decided to also treat the entire family for a much deserved outing.

can't wait to see the sparkle in little jj's eyes... it will also be the 2nd time for my [not so] little munchkin ;)

And while I count the hours to this Friday, would like to share with you one of the songs written by Babyface that has always been my personal favourite. I've share so many videos on my facebook page but those were songs sung by him... this one's by After 7.

I was supposed to blog about something else but since I feel so strongly about this subject tonight, I shall blog about this instead.

My dear friend and ex-colleague, Elaine, is back for a short break and since little jj and I were down with chicken pox during her last trip back home, we made sure to make time for each other this time.

The meeting was made even more meaningful when our lovely friend and ex-colleague (too!), Nicole, managed to take off from work and converged at my apartment this afternoon. After I sent the little munchkin off to school, I joined them both for a quick lunch at KFC since Elaine was craving for it due to it not being available in Switzerland... and promised to join them a little later for dinner, to meet another friend whom I had not met and chatted in ages. So, I went back home to let little jj take her beauty nap while the two of them headed to 1Utama where Nicole had to meet someone for a discussion.

In between waiting for little jj to wake up from her afternoon nap and the eagerness for the one to return home quickly, Elaine called me up to tell me that she might have left her camera at one of the shops in Giant while shopping for stuff after I left. Of course, my instant response would be to say that she might not be getting that camera back if she had left it there. I mean, Digital Camera? And in Giant? There are tonnes of patrons going in and out and electronic stuff like that are usually stuff that you may not see again if you misplace them.

Well, as a friend, all I could do was to go back to the store and just ask, out of obligation. I mean, I wouldn't know what the outcome may be even with the assumption of it disappearing permanently. It is after all just nearby my place, and I thought it wouldn't hurt to drop by just before I go off to meet them for dinner.

The first stop was at the RM5 shop... the promoters there gave me a negative answer. So, my next hope would be KFC, where we had our lunch.

I queued up and then asked this one girl at the last counter if anybody had found a digital camera that a friend of mine might have left.

Whaddaya know... honesty, trustworthiness and sincerity still live on in the selected few urban population. She nodded and smiled, pulled out the drawer right next to her, took out all the documents and stuff, and then took out the black pouch with the camera, all still intact. And as if it was my own possession, I was thrilled and let out a few arabic words of gratefulness to Allah, thanked her for the kindness and left the place feeling ecstatic... that I was glad to have dropped by the place and was able to extend whatever kindness back to Elaine by doing this small favour.

So, to all of you, I would like to tell you here that the KFC outlet in Giant Mall, Kelana Jaya, has people who deserve to be given the acknowledgement in here. I shall drop by more often there.

Of course before that, I text her and said, tough luck. Haha. She thought the camera was totally gone. In reality, luck is tough. But I didn't mention that luck was actually on her side ;)

I made my way to 1Utama but the traffic was really really bad and parking was a challenge. But things were good and we all had our usual good time together, joined by Carmen, another ex-colleague turned good friend.

The three of us have come a long way from where we were back then and the amount of things we all went through together while working under a crazy bitch has formed a relatively strong friendship between us. Carmen, was an outsider always looking in on us... she was taking care of bancassurance matters and totally understood what the three of us had endured, being in that 'aquarium' on the 30th floor of Menara HLA.

Seriously, apart from one other friend (and ex-colleague) who's now residing in Sydney, these two are an entirely different story. Up til now, after more than 7 years away from the evil clutches of a devil who wore Nine West, we could all still talk about her non-stop and how much she flows in our bloodstream. Still. Haha. We would imitate her scolding Elaine especially, since Elaine's hands would tremble at every WIP meeting every Monday morning at 9 am sharp. And she would always attack Elaine first since Elaine would exude that vulnerable aura which was magnetic enough to pull a negative energy towards her...

We would always remember how she would bang all the doors to the pantry cupboards just because Elaine (who was in charge of events' catering) didn't understand what she meant by having the meals 'hidang' style haha... I was very new at that time and boy... did my eyes pop out when the entire 30th floor echoed with the loud shutting of cupboards, pulling out cups and saucers ;P

We would always talk about how she'd question Elaine on why her hands were shaking at every WIP meetings and how bad she made Elaine cry...

Tonight, we were even recalling some really awful stuff which may not be that nice to be mentioned here.

Then, there was that fake surprised expression in all of us during every birthday celebration! See, she doesn't have that many friends in life and because of that, she made us contribute RM50 for every staff's birthday (while she, who earned 4x our salary, also contributed the same amount!). What she NEVER knew was, all of us had planned the birthday gifts together, ie. we would buy the gifts together. Therefore, except for her gift, we would all already know what we were getting for our birthdays. And since she's a sucker for surprises, we let her be surprised with her gift, while all of us pretended to be surprised with normal and standard statements like, "Oooh, this is soooo thoughtful of you!" or "Omygawd... how did you know I wanted this??" or "Ohmygawd ohmygawd... I've always wanted to get this for myself"!! Haha... the only thing we didn't know coming would be the type of cakes that we're getting and the modus operandi of the surprise party.

I think that birthday thingy must be the best joke for us as we act surprised in front of her. Oh, and how much they hated that I was her 'pet' because I could anticipate her expectations ;P

Of course, to be fair to her, not everything is bad.

No no... let me rephrase that... in all the devils that you meet, there would be valuable lessons in life that you could extract and apply it to your advantage.

When Nicole and I became heads of department for different organisations after we left Hong Leong, we agreed that one of the best things about Ms Cruella deVille, was her weekly WIP. It was perfect. Everywhere else, people are always so busy... too busy to even discuss WIPs. But with her, it was compulsory. If you have not done it, you're supposed to complete it during weekends or come to the office by 7am on Monday. I tell you, our weekend was always spent worrying in case there are things we have committed to doing the week before and was not accomplished. WIP is a great way to plan your schedules and work is done more efficiently. The best part would be the fact that everyone in the department knows what you're doing and in case an outsider enquires about certain things when you're away, anybody else can answer on your behalf.... at least, no one can say they do not know...

Secondly, when it comes to sending out emails (especially when the whole world was copied), we would reread, go through the entire email hundreds of times and make amendments to specific words used to ensure that people do not misconstrue our true intentions and no one irrelevant would get into trouble. Therefore, one simple email may take 1/2 hour to 1 hour before it is actually sent. These days, people would simply hit the send button and get into trouble... spelling errors, wrong recipients, etc.

Thirdly, everything must be done in black and white. So many people love to screw corporate communications as they either think we are magicians or that we could create miracles. Once a black and white is out with proper confirmation and agreed content, we would ensure that the department is not taken for a ride and definitely not used as taichi. We found that all other organisations we worked in, are not friendly with this black and white concept so we concluded that it is all up to the leadership.

We also learnt from her how to multi-task, remember things at the tip of our fingers, negotiate for good rates more effectively and work efficiently even in a lean team. There were only 3 of us handling the group yet we all managed to pull through it all, sweat, tears and all. And the priceless part was learning the fact that everything has a hundred ways of getting done. There is no such thing as 'No'... everything is a 'Can' and you are required to think of ways to get it done... of course, within limits. I guess that must be the most valuable skill that I could even apply in my daily tasks.

Last but not least, no matter how bad she was, she was extremely fair when it comes to remuneration and evaluations. She would always always rate us all very high and openly refutes HR's concept of having quotas for over-achievers. To her, if everyone did a good job, then everyone should be evaluated professionally and given the necessary rewards. No one should be left behind to make way for an over-achiever. And no matter how much she liked to make Elaine fearful of her, she actually fought for Elaine's upgrade and pay rise as soon as I joined the department, since I had similar years of experience to her but I was getting a higher pay as I joined from another organisation. In this sense, she showed me clearly that no matter what HR says, the boss has the rights to change anything, when it deems fit. Hence, this was what we did too when we became bosses - to fight for what's right for the staff even if HR's policy and guidelines say otherwise... I mean, rules are just basic guidelines... a boss has a powerful voice since they would know best of how valuable the staff is to a company. Furthermore, I believe that the efficiency of the staff reflects heavily on the leadership... if a staff excels, surely the boss has given so much motivation. If one fails to perform, there must be something wrong with the leadership...

There are a lot more skills that we developed from working under her but those aren't really skills we learnt from her... more of skills we learnt to survive under her... which was pretty good, actually.

So, while I was browsing through my old files, I found several very memorable photos I have of all of us... something that I shall never ever forget for the rest of my life because these are really wonderful women who've kinda grown with me, accept each other as is, support each other through whatever decisions we make in life and remain friends through it all.

Love you guys!!

Hmmm... I do think I may be the last few to update on Mom Bloggers Planet 1st Anniversary Get-2-gather. Bad Ambassador... bad *spank!* ;)

Do excuse madame toughcookie as she goes thru a rough caffeine withdrawal symptom which deem her not-so-tough. But please don't tell anyone that. Otherwise, that reputation might just be revoked by the blogging community *sigh*

Anyways, what else can I say except that it was a success. I wouldn't go that far as to say it was highly successful (although I do honestly think it was) since it was an MBP's first and we all know that there would be weaknesses here and there, being a first... with many more to improve in the future anniversary celebrations, if I am still needed there. But so far, I am not getting any negative feedback on the event... so I guess it was truly one successful do, don't you think?

Not wanting to describe too much about the event since many of the 40 blogger moms would probably have already told you on their blogs how much fun they had at the event, full with photos and everything. Hence, I would like to touch more on the people behind it.

Having done numerous events for god knows how many years, I must say that this must be the best team I've ever worked with. Seriously.

First of all, we all came together as volunteers - we were not paid neither do we expect to be paid. However, I was quite touched by their generosity... the gestures may not be in a big way but the fact that they came up with ideas of sorts and getting stuff for the preparation without being pushed is one priceless trait.

Secondly, all the other moms (in the committee) have a full time job. And I seriously cannot imagine how they could manage their time so well to give it their all into this event.

Thirdly, a point which I find so darn interesting is that none of them have ever done events before (unless maybe plan for their kids' birthdays) yet each one of them knew what their exact roles were without much fuss and without anyone breathing down their necks.

Last but not least, apart from not much experience in events, we all ONLY had 2 meetings - once 3 weeks before the event (with only the ambassadors and founder of MBP) and another, just 1 week before the event with additional 5 members who volunteered to assist each of us.

Seriously, with the 3rd and 4th point into consideration, I was so damn impressed with the team. There were just simple follow-ups through emails that was actually pretty slow until it got intense about 1 to 2 days before the event. Yet, everything was in place, budget was very limited and the event went very smoothly. Everyone did what they set out to do and no one questioned anything else that's missing from the list.

Again, I would say that, I am impressed. I love working with the team and I guess the fact that we all had a concise and compact 2-hour meeting during our first meet said a lot about how effective everyone was in the team.

I also appreciate that the 14-15 families who came very early were patient with us as the event started a little late, waiting for at least 50% attendance from the 49 mommies who had RSVP. We kinda anticipated some late comers probably due to the event being planned so early on Sunday morning and that the venue we reserved was probably a little 'off' from the main jogging course at the Shah Alam Lake. It was great that we were still able to follow through the programme as planned and according to the allocated time.

Everyone also looked pretty shy at first but as soon as we opened the registration for the kids' ping pong ball game, everything else went on so well.

It all boils down pretty much to such wonderful company in the form of 80 adults and 49 children from 40 families who attended the event. The food was really good too and kudos to that large variety of food everyone brought from home... who would have thought that we would have about 40 different dishes enough to fill all tummies of various sizes, eh *wink*

Everyone was comfortably seated at strategic spots ala a picnic - many brought their own mats to sit on while some were welcomed to share a spot on their huge mats. More importantly, the weather was on our side... it was warm and sunny early in the morning but was shady as soon as we started the activities.

a nice, warm and friendly event at a warm and friendly atmosphere, filled with warm and friendly people ;)

I was initially worried as I didn't get my emceeing points written down but I managed to scribble some up and all was well. And I was glad to have volunteered to man the registration counter as I managed to get to know many other blogger moms whom I may have only seen from the photos they post in their blogs. It was a pleasure to have met Byzura (whom I so wanted to get to know since I saw her at the FRISO event), Fatin (who was probably the hottest looking mom that day), Jiey (who may have taken my questions in a wrong way and am grateful that she didn't), Sumijelly (who brought over huge sumi jelly packets!), Luciana (who was the first to register), Mika & his mom (I was attracted by his gibberish talk as he sounded so much like little jj), Isabelle (who came so well dressed to the occasion) and so many more of whom I may only have had the chance to say hi and then left to continue what I was set to do.

little jj also made friends... here with anis manis ;)

All in all, it was a wonderful gathering on a fine Sunday and I simply must thank everyone who had made it successful - Kak Ros, the founder of MBP (definitely!); Hanz, Nia, Cik Lily Putih and Jiji (my co-Ambassadors) and Nini, Tifa, Fid & Lyna (volunteers who assisted us). I hope I have done a good job as well...

Separate HUGE thank you to my very helpful co-committee, AdD, who will be due in March but most importantly, a big thank you to my very supportive hubby, the one, who untiringly helped distract little jj from searching for mommy's boobies as her last feed was around 7am (poor baby...).

I haven’t really been paying much attention to the ‘Requests’ section of my facebook account for so long. I’ve been really occupied with work and all my status updates were done from the TweetDeck that was installed on my mac mini by the one. Hence, all updates are automatically linked and uploaded to my facebook status. And those times when I do have time to keep in touch with friends on facebook, I rely heavily on its homepage and latest status updates of friends that appear there. Since I am in front of the computer most of the time, I’d let those game applications like Farmville, Yoville and Café World run so that I could keep up with whatever that I needed to do during those short breaks from work and demanding little jj.

But… just a week ago, I decided to check out my Requests page and saw those friend requests that’s been on queue for God knows how long. Also saw several profile pictures of those friends suggested by existing friends on my list. Now, that….. had brought certain memories from the past that was practically buried so deep in my skull.

So… that got me to thinking… of the past, of friends I am no longer friends with… of friends who touched my life in so many ways before but have lost contact… of those people who were only friends with me because they wanted something from me… and those people who got close to me because they felt they could protect me from my trusting nature.

Then there were those assholes who told stuff and those people who judged me for being myself and now, seeing their profile photos on facebook, how much they have changed into people they judged before. But then again, my uni years was waaay back and I asked myself why I was still holding on to those insignificant memories… why some of them still touched me, and those many questions on why some of them wants to add me as friends when they never bothered to be one then. I was heavily judged a city girl, dressed too daring (though that was nothing close to how much more daring I am now)… oh, how much more innocent and simplistic way of thinking local students were in that local university.

So, with that, I felt that I’d want to leave a note for little jj… a useful note for her when she starts facing the various different characters in her growing up process where mommy might not be able to constantly tell her this and that. I know I have at least mentioned some of these points to my eldest son every once in awhile when the topic of friends and friendship came about especially when he starts to judge people from the way they dressed or looked. And although I won’t be able to totally protect little jj, I would like for her to know that her mommy at least have told her some priceless advise that her grandma never really made clear to her mommy before.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself – and when I say, ‘yourself’, I meant honest, passionate and sincere, even to the point of being outspoken, brash and bold. Some people will judge you for being rude, some people will want to stay away because you feel like a threat to them and many will talk behind your back because they may be jealous of what you have and what you can do without fear. These traits will be the traits that others look for, especially those who are also honest and sincere in fostering friendships and that they seek these positive traits because they expect nothing less out of a friend.

Keep some mystery – do not reveal too much about yourself, your family or what you think about what has happened to some people because most of the times, people would just want to hear you talk and what you say can be used against you. It is better that one doesn’t know you too well because firstly, judging you will be even harder and secondly, those negative people will feel much worse that they have no juicy contents to twist to make you look bad. And you, have nothing to lose as you will always have true friends out there even if you haven’t found one.

Don’t be afraid to be outstanding – yes, by being brash and bold (in a positive way) will make you stand out from the rest. People can feel threatened by that unless they are mature and open-minded and know that this is such a small matter when it comes to fostering friendships. I can strongly vouch that this possible ‘unwanted’ trait by some is a really small issue in your student years because this trait is a strong advantage when you seek employment. Trust me. I’ve been there.

Learn to be a good listener - you do not need to say anything after. Sometimes people only want to share their thoughts to have one who could listen while they express their feelings so that they feel better. They might not be seeking for opinions or advise. By listening to what they have to say, you have played your role as a good friend.

Those who disturb your life are disturbed inside - do have faith that people who disturbs your peace are those who are very much disturbed internally. They do not need help unless they help themselves. These people cannot stand to see other people happy because they are miserable all the time and the need to hurt other people to make them feel better, is one pitiful trait. Their opinions about you cannot affect you in any way and you do not need to explain or prove anything about yourself to anyone.

Do unto others if you want others do unto you – it’s okay if there are many pessimistic people around. Be what they want but you should always stick to your principles because this is what will hold you close to yourself… your conscience is clear at all times and there won’t be regrets.

The glass is always half full – be positive no matter what. Every event has a silver lining, there is always 2 sides of a coin and the world is round. Therefore, as long as you are honest and sincere in everything you do, you do not judge others and don’t meddle in other people’s issues, you’d have a happier life. Even if some things do not go your way, you’d be able to see the better side of things, in time. And… those who do malicious and vicious things to you will always get what they deserve without you having to resort to revenge. Let go and nature shall take its course. That, you can trust me as well.

There is nothing wrong with being nice to get your point across – honesty, brash and bold do not need to be applied in a negative way. Just be firm, concise and gentle. There are plenty of time to show your bitchy side after you have joined the employment market but during your student years, all you need to do is study well, enjoy life as a student and get involved in as many activities as you can. Honesty can sometimes be misconstrued as arrogance. So be tactful and think before you open your mouth because as much as I encourage you to be honest, at times and in some situations, it’s not worth your breath.

Make as many friends as possible during your student years – because like it or not (and true to the saying, ‘the world is round’), you would in the future meet or need some of them. I remember how one guy who was so openly critical about me back then suddenly came begging to me to give him a good evaluation for the utterly careless and unprofessional catering service to the organisation I was working for. One day, you would be a decision maker or your friend could be in that position. You do not want to be in a situation where you appear a hypocrite because you will never be able to face yourself in the mirror. And mommy would so hate to know that my precious princess was brought up as a pretentious person.

Always smile the moment you get out of bed to the time you turn in – smiling changes a lot of perspectives, to you or to others. It also further promotes positive thinking. So, smile… and the world will smile with you because a smile can be infectious. Plus, I know you’d look so much more gorgeous with a smile.

It’s not important to have best friends, yet – you can have best friends but only after you have really got to know them inside out. Sometimes, we can be wrong about someone but that is okay because we are only human. Just don’t get too attached or dependent on anyone. Best friends can be your worst enemy. So, remember to stay a little mysterious. Furthermore, you will find many people whom you can call a best friend in your later years when the environment is so much healthier and everyone gets more matured.

Take care of yourself, love yourself – people will not love you if you do not love yourself. Be selfish if you like. Don’t even bother about what others thought of you (and this, I meant it in a positive way). You will never be able to please everybody in this world so stop thinking that you need everyone’s approval in everything that you do. As long as you know what you’re doing is the best thing to do for yourself, no other people should be able to make you believe otherwise. By being selfish, you discount all other miserable factors because in the end, you are responsible for your well-being. Everyone is selfish and wants what’s best for them. Therefore, you should too.

Live life as if there’s no tomorrow – live happy, think happy thoughts, be positive and experience (within limits) life wise and open. Thus, when you get to my age, you wouldn’t have to say things like, “Oh, I wished I had done that before,” or “I never tried doing that in uni,”. And that quite suck at this age since you know you should enjoy being a young adult, and the only responsibilities are taking care of yourself and your grades.

Stay close to positive people – only when you are positive and friends with people who value life can you succeed in life. With positive influences, you get rid of bad energy which can affect you. It’s ok if some people think less of you as long as you know yourself and have faith of those significant people around you.

Always be responsible for your own actions and the choices you make – yes, it is always easier to blame everyone else for anything that does not go your way. But I tell you, that will never make you a better person and you shall never be able to improve yourself and achieve success with a clear conscience. Remember that whatever you do and the choices you make are made with yourself in mind, for your benefit and for you to come out wiser.

Remember that your family will be on your side no matter what – you can always choose your friends but you can never choose who you want as family. As bad as that may sound, just know that you would always have our support and to come to any of us for advise, should you need clearer direction on what you need to do.

If you've made a mistake, apologise instantly and sincerely - because if you treat life like there is no tomorrow, you should know that you may never see that person again and that you have the balls to admit to your mistake (yes, baby, you can and will make mistakes along the way but that is alright). Stop making excuses because it will make your apology totally lame. So, suck up your ego, and apologise, and be sure to not repeat such things again.

Do not give away trust that easily – I am not saying you must mistrust everyone around you… that is negative. I am just saying that not everyone is your friend even if they appear to be very very nice and that not everyone is your enemy just because they appear crude or nasty. Once you get to know people, you may be surprised to note that nicer people can turn to be your worst enemy and those who appeared cold could probably displayed that to protect you.

Give way for second chances – though it cannot be applied all the time. People may not get it right the first time and in some cases, second chances make a whole lotta difference!

Let go of the past – while typing this point I realised how important it is to let go of the past. You may not be able to totally forget the past or forgive those who’ve wronged you but letting go of the past allows you to feel better. In time, you will eventually forgive some people and realise that they cannot affect your life in any way unless you allow that to happen. Furthermore, the past experience shapes you into a better person. Letting go of the past may not have to be one where you are inclined to offer any friendship in return, although some of them from the past could also turn into better characters. Life is a journey of learning… you won’t get everything right all the time but at least I know with all these and through all these, you have protected yourself considerably well.

Last but not least, as I’ve just finished watching ‘Meet the Robinsons’ on Disney channel with abang while you were on your afternoon nap, I would so like you to adopt the values from that movie – to always move forward in life. As you are responsible for the choices you make, you can not change things (and I don’t think you should change people as well) or the past. But what you do in the present time will shape your future and that helps a lot if you could live life with positive energy… in that process, just know that you have good friends who’d have your back even if they’re not close to you or never told you that.

About a couple of weeks ago, another friend of mine shared with me on her new venture - of her very own online blogshop, which she hoped could bring her to an early retirement and possibly be a WAHM like moi ;D

I believe this is a good development. I mean, when I was doing research on the net, I stumbled across hoards of online blogshops selling women's clothing, branded stuff, bags and even second hand items, or as they now call it - pre-loved items. Most of them don't even have credit card payment facilities yet I could see that the market/demands for their items are constant, even when a customer is required to pay by cash for items with a four-figure price tag. And, these blogs are mostly owned by women - some housewives and some with a day job.

I think it is a good development because I realised that women can be self-sufficient, not having to depend too much on their parents or husbands... and who's to say that your current day job is thoroughly secure. Furthermore, this development gives a clear picture that you can do almost anything, if you put your mind to it.

I'm not saying this because I feel that all women need to have a part-time venture... I am saying this simply because I've heard many women who complained about how much they hated their work and wished that they can quit their day jobs, if only they have something to fall back on while they stay home rather than just wait for their monthly allowances from their husbands. With an online business, one does not need to worry about start-up since there is no need for space rental, parking, etc... just a reliable online connection, quality products, knowledge of industry/market and a mobile phone, you can be on your way to personal 'freedom' ;)

Surely, if given the choice, I would rather not work at all (haha....) but then again, for most of us who are so used to working, just sitting at home not stimulating the brain, just don't seem to fit the picture.

feel free to browse around!

The first day of fasting came and went quite well... I am happy to be able to fast on the first day successfully although I was a little bit worried earlier since I am still breastfeeding the baby - I mean, I am not worried about the hungry part but more for the thirsty part. But, I was feeling a little guilty as I didn't fast the entire month last year, partly because I just came out of confinement and believed that the baby needed a good flow of wholesome mummy's milk. I really do not want to miss an entire month this year and decided to just give it a go today... after all, I could always break fast if ever I do feel lethargic or extremely thirsty.

Anyways, I had a good meet with my very dear friend, Nicole, this afternoon. It was meant to be a lunch date until the one reminded me that harlow... puasa laaa... hehe. So, I quickly text-ed my gorgeous girlfriend that lunch has got to be cancelled at our usual gorgeous hangout and to be replaced with a good shopping destination so that we could still hangout and chat.

And oh, what a really good shopping session it was... it has really been quite awhile since we both went for serious shopping together. Usually it would just be lunch and window-shopping in BSC, where there are a limited number of shops and items you could buy, apart from the pharmacy, grocery store and book store that we would frequent to. And... in the process of buying this and that, I was politely told by the cashier in Guardian that she thought I was Chinese haha... that reminds me of the question I posed to the one, if in case I did proceed to having lunch in public with Nicole, no one would even suspect me as a Malay now, would they? ;P

I've always loved to shop with Nicole because we'd both encourage each other to spend haha... and we both love to see each other looking gorgeous. We even had a 10 to 15-minute drama down at the Nine West section of Isetan, admiring a lovely handbag at 50% discount. It was truly funny, if you were there to bear witness. But as much as I thought the bag looked pretty, I do believe I already have plenty (more so, the one would definitely raise an eyebrow with the so many bags I already own hehe...). I managed to put the bag back on the rack but I knew Nicole couldn't stand to see the last piece being displayed and grabbed the bag for herself. I do think that the sales girl was so relieved that we finally took the bag after hogging on to it in front of the mirror for ages!

I managed to get a nice gift for my cousin who just gave birth and although that was my only shopping plan, what truly caught me by surprise was this awesome deal... feast your eyes (only for Bobbi Brown's fan)...

this sleek compact is yours FOC with any 3 refill purchase - offer only until 31 August 2009!

this was definitely a steal!

There are 4 slots available but since I couldn't make up my mind which eye-shadow colour is best, I was happy to have chosen a lip colour-quad, one lip gloss pan, and a blusher (the lip colours pans come with a plastic attached cover so that you don't get any access powder (from the blusher or eye-shadow) on them. You can even choose a foundation pan to be slotted into the compact.

But but but... what truly caught our eyes was the sight of this little girl, I managed to capture on my N86 8MP... can you see what we saw??... look carefully :)