i shall not stop writing.

Thanks for asking me this question because I do have something I'd like to share concerning how we can make the most of an almost empty tube of beauty product. I don't know if you are already aware of this particular method because I think I got it either from the Martha Stewart show or Rachael Ray's... but I do think it may help enlighten many people because my family members would always give me that amazed stare whenever I do it. It's as if this particular method is so brilliant.

So, allow me to share.

I started doing this because I always felt that I haven't quite used up a tube entirely even when the products cannot be squeezed out anymore. Call me a scrimp if you like but I call it being efficient. I just hate wastage, especially when beauty products can be pretty expensive. So, the first step would be to cut off the top part of the tube using a pair of sharp scissors.

Once the top part is cut off, it will be large enough for you to dip your finger into it and you could even swipe your finger on its walls to ensure that you've really used up the content.

I assure you, you would always be able to get at least one or two more application.

Just imagine if I hadn't done this and would simply throw away the 'empty' tube when there's plenty more in it. Yes, you may find that there'll be excess amount of cream/masque/cleanser/anything that comes in a tube and so, don't fret... you can either use a large paper clip or in my case, a piece of clothes peg did the trick to keep the content fresh for the next beauty pampering session :)

Did you find this interesting?

As I've mentioned in my brief post yesterday, I shall be wearing a fake "Chef" hat for the enquiry that I am featuring in this week's Toughcookie Thursdays. I am not very sure if the question is a test to what I can feature in this column or that this person sincerely thought I could help her. So here goes...

I like this question because I always love a healthy meal, simply because I hardly exercise and that as a wife and mom, it is my duty to encourage a healthy diet in the family. Plus, since being at home forces me to be creative with the food that I prepare, I have come up with something simple, healthy, yet tasty and very quick to prepare. As you didn't specify what your husband likes to eat, I am going to answer your question based on my understanding on what you're looking for - a healthy fix that's easy to make.

Firstly, the ingredients... it is good to have these items in check as they totally would make preparing easier and the end product, tasty too...

clockwise from most left: triple washed salad, loaf of bread, sweet relish, mayonnaise, aluminium foil, turkey/chicken toast and cheese :)

I would suggest using the triple washed salad (there is a 7-leaf type and a 12-leaf type) because you do not need to wash them. Just cut off the packet, pull out them leaves and they're ready to eat. And if you're an environmental-friendly person, you may want to just use a food container instead of the aluminium foil. I like aluminium foil as it makes things easier for your husband so that he does not need to clean up the food container and then forget to bring it home...

As for the chicken/turkey toast, you can find them around the meat/chicken section of the supermarket. They come sliced in a frozen pack and they are ready to eat cold.

Spread the aluminium foil and place bread at the center.

Made my way with my little tote (little jj, I mean) to Ikea over lunch today to meet a friend, Ros, who was showing me some stuff she was selling.

I had just added her in my fb friends list after meeting her while I visited a friend at the hospital. I've bumped into Ros a few times before but we never got to chat the way we did that day. So, after she had confirmed my request to add her, I went browsing away her fb page and discovered that she owns a blog selling authentic american brand goods.

Anyway, in my haste to get everything done in the morning - like feeding little jj, getting everyone ready, getting myself ready and sending the little munchkin to school, I reached Ikea only to realise that I forgot little jj's baby bag. And I hate when that happens!

See, it is a norm every time we leave the house - that I am usually busy with little jj and my eldest is entrusted with the responsibility to carry his little sister's baby bag. But I guess he had forgotten all about it this morning and since I was so engrossed with chasing after little jj before she gets into the elevator alone, I totally didn't see the lack of one more bag in my eldest's hands.

I was stumped when I couldn't find the bag. Because I had already reached my destination and I have parked the car. What made it worse was that I brought my little handbag instead of my usual large one that contains the entire house :( hehe... almost.

But, in a split second, I decided that I would just meet Ros and rush back home as soon as we're done. After all, I had given little jj milk just before we left the house, I had changed her diaper as well and the things I was worried about was her top getting dirty at lunch as I didn't have her bib, the absence of her favourite water tumbler and if she did a number 2 - which were all points that I deemed manageable, if they did occur.

Oh, but little jj gave me a pleasant surprise, though... she behaved so well and my concerns were unfounded. I placed her in the high chair at Ikea's cafe and she played on her own while I bought lunch. I know she likes fries and I ordered the famous Swedish Meatballs that comes with fries. For her drink, I got her the Spritzer Mineral Water and made sure I got a straw as well. When I got back to the table, she was all quiet minding her own business and Ros and another friend, Aje, were also surprised that little jj didn't cry for me. Wahhh... she's a big girl already *sob sob*

So, I had my meatballs and little jj ate away her fries while I chat away with Ros and Aje. In the middle of it, I fed her my meatballs and little jj truly loved it... so much so that she totally rejected the fries I gave her after that and only wanted the meatballs :) She was so full after the last piece of meatball and she then started to get cranky as she wanted to sleep. Thankfully, I was already done by then. All in all, I think I had a good 1 1/2 hours before I had to grant her my full attention.

Anyway, in the end, I didn't get anything from Ros although I initially thought I would get this sling bag from her. It looked really gorgeous to me but after I tried it on me, it didn't really complement me due to its relatively large size compared to my petite frame. The sling can be adjusted to a handbag but it defeats the purpose since I know I will never use it as a handbag.

Ros also brought other stuff like other types of bags, wallets and even a collared-T. I felt very tempted to get at least one other stuff from her but I realised that I cannot lose focus. I think I've been going on a shopping spree these couple of months and I think I should really stop doing that... I mean, I am worried of this inability to control myself where I cannot stop shopping, and always using the excuse that I haven't been shopping much for myself for the 18 months since little jj was born... that I wasn't able to do anything much until recently when she weaned off of me. There's really no end to shopping and the needs that I keep wanting to fulfill!

So... when I realised this particular factor just a couple of weeks ago, I started to see that having self-control is a form of self empowerment that can make you feel just as good.

Yes, you may be able to afford those things you buy but if you don't really need them in the first place, it may be wiser to keep your mind focused and move on to what's more important in life.

I think I sorta already filled that void I was feeling for the many things I had to sacrifice. I know you may think it isn't much but to those who know me well, and know how much I love the beautiful things in life like dressing up and taking care of my skin, visits to the hair salon and all things vain, the fact that I had pushed them all far back in order to tend to a very clingy baby (and also because money is better spent on the kids anyways), 18 months seem to be a huge achievement for me.

I had so much fun shopping the last couple of months and got plenty of new stuff since I saw my size [almost] returning to normal. I still can't fit into my old clothes and I am too small to fit in those large non-maternity attires I wore during my pregnancy... so you can imagine the many stuff I got to fill the void in my cupboard. But that need didn't go away and I kept going shopping, at times not even bothered about the price tags.

So, with the realisation that it's time to stop as I've enough new clothes, make up and skincare products to get by for another year (yeah yeah... we'll see), I am now keeping my mind focused on this promise I made to myself.

And... since that sling bag wasn't suited for vertically challenged moi, I guess I shouldn't let myself be tempted to spend on other stuff unnecessarily. Gosh... that felt good. I think! ;P

Now, over to more important matters... :)

I think that is a title of a song by an artiste, right? Rick Astley, I think.

I woke up this morning feeling so lethargic.

Little jj is out from fever but since yesterday, she developed some serious coughs and cold that I could even hear the thick phlegm from her coughs. I felt useless as the one took the car to work and by the time she woke up from her morning nap, it was already past noon and the clinic is closed until 7pm.

The one came home some time in the afternoon and he was still feeling the after-effect of the viral infection he caught at a kenduri in Puchong on Saturday. So, he was still going in and out of the toilet, although at less frequent intervals.

Last Thursday when little jj caught the fever, her temperature shot up at night and left me with just 1 ½ hours of sleep. From then on, and the one getting sick during the weekend, I was forced to go full force with my energy even though I’ve already been ‘calling’ for ‘help’ the week before…

Don’t judge me to want a break because that doesn’t mean I love my family any lesser. My body has been telling me today that I need some sanity, even for a day (of couse now with what's happening, I'd like that break as soon as little jj has fully recovered).

Because this morning, with little jj sponged and all the medications given to her, I not only smell for I couldn’t take a bath with the little one all clingy to me, I reek the smell of her vomit.

But no matter how lethargic I was feeling, it gave me a little bit more strength to see her feel a little better after all that phlegm was out of her system.

She cried and cried and it pains me that she didn’t even want to eat. I didn’t feel like eating either and forced myself to eat when my tummy started to give those weird sounds. I mean, if I get sick, who's gonna take care of the little one... more importantly, who's going to take care of me?

At that point of time, I just cried. I don’t know why but I just did. Especially when someone close to me called and asked about the baby.

Does anyone feel sincerely interested to know how mommy is doing?

I guess not… and I couldn’t really blame anyone for it because that is the norm… it’s life, just suck it in.

And all I could think of was my best friend in the entire world – Nicole. I wanted to post a special valentine dedication for her for that one special reason but since I was busy with everything else at home, that had to take a backseat.

I text her while I was all teared up and told her not to call me back since I really didn’t feel like talking. I was smelly, emotional, definitely sad and I couldn’t get up. My whole body felt highly lethargic – one that is serious… I know it is a symptom of depression because I’ve felt something like this a long time ago.

I’m not trying to be dramatic with this post. I just have to write to make me feel better. Writing has always given me the avenue to let off steam and a talk 2-3 weeks back with one friend who is also a housewife, confirmed that many moms feel this way but were either too afraid to say what she feels for fear of being judged, or just due to plain guilt because mommies are supposed to be strong creatures, looking after everything in the household putting herself before others.

I know no one can help one if one doesn’t help herself and I am not expecting anything from this post… just a medium to let off what I’m feeling.

Nicole is someone I can turn to because she would always (without fail) ask me how I am doing everytime we talk or meet up. It’s not that I am complaining… I’m just at a point where I’m forced to be superwoman and feels the lack of love. It's not that I'm not getting any lesser love from the one, but this 'guilt' that a housewife feels is preventing me from talking about it to him... I mean, I am expected to do my duty, right? How selfish can one sound?

Of course, it is not the case because everything is really ok… it’s just a tired soul in need of a nice, good hug... to give me a little bit more strength and feel what I am feeling.

Right now, I feel a little happier since little jj has started to eat. Although she ate just 1/3 of the ice-cube portion, it was such an achievement for me to see her want to eat. Since I knew she liked the chicken-apple-sweet potato puree, I took that one out and her mouth instantly opened up wide. She drank lots and lots of milk and slept well from the meds.

She’s due for her next medication and it is so hard to see a baby gulping down meds. Deep down, I hope she knows that it is for her own good.

As for me, I am trying to force myself to eat as I can't afford to get sick... and I feel slightly better now that I’ve let out steam.