i shall not stop writing.

i haven't stopped writing although i may have kinda stopped touching personal issues in here. but i promise to keep updating in a more professional level HERE.

Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Mid-fb-life Crisis, he tells me.

"Hi... I just got a 'friend request' from you... were you in Desasiswa C****a (back in uni)? You were from the East Coast and part of those who used to talk bad about me, right?"

That was a short message I just sent out in facebook awhile ago.

The one said that I have a mid-facebook-life crisis, in that, I am acting as if someone who has a mid-life crisis... someone who's suddenly considering and thinking so much about something she has been doing all these while and questioning the reasons for it, even to the point of re-considering newer habits as I've lost faith in certain things due to stuff I've been receiving, reading or/and seeing.

All of a sudden, I feel that facebook is filled with pretentious people (moi included). You have friends whom you label as 'friends' yet some of them are privileged to view everything you put up about yourself while some of them are unable to view your wall, your full profile or your entire photo album. Heck, I am not just talking about others but I, too, have people whom I segregate to Family, Friends, Best Buddies, Blogger Friends and one particular group I named 'Questionable' who are unable to view my wall and can only read my notes without being able to comment on them because I don't fancy their views and not bothered about letting them know how I feel, yet I am unable to delete them off my Friends list because they are either family members, relatives or a friend whom I do not want to burn the bridges with.

So, that makes me pretentious too?

Heck, I am not a pretentious person because that is so not me. But circumstances in life sometimes forces you to be that way because you need to consider someone else's feelings... and while you do that, I feel some sort of insincerity... and being insincere tires me to the bones, being someone who thrives on principles.

Then, there are those whom I 'hide' on my Recent News wall. They are my friends, but I dislike reading their status because they would either create awkwardness to people reading their status or that they make my blood boil with never-ending stupid/rude comments on politics and personal stuff regarding their partners or their ex, giving out pathetic excuses to obtain constant attention and grabbing people to join them in easy money-making quests.

I know everyone's into facebook and I have to admit that it is a very good social and networking tool. In fact, I have been using facebook so actively because it is the only window to my networking and keeping-in-touch-with-friends ability. I stay at home all day. I work from home. I see no one at times. I go out only with my little jj and I only meet my family day in day out. Therefore, facebook is my only window to the outside world... I keep in touch very well on facebook... I get involved in many of what's happening to my friends through their status updates while I totally ignore other's updates whom I do not hide which I don't quite bother because I don't pretty much care about them but have nothing against them.

Previously, I would just delete people off my list especially those who dare request me to add them into my list of friends but never bothered to even write me a message and put in any efforts to keep in touch with a simple hi or how have you been or what have you been doing questions. But, I realised that many people get easily offended by that gesture of deletion and got me into thinking and re-considering my bold actions because there is nothing wrong about adding them and keeping them in my list as I could just easily segregate them into groups. Thus, allowing more control of what they can view and what they can't, until later on when we have more time to chat and they earn my trust.

Now, with 444 friends in my list and further editing controls to my privacy, I suddenly felt sick. Because I don't need over 400 friends and always worried who would misuse their access to my hoards of photographs. I mean, I never thought I even have 400 friends whom I can call, friends. So, yes, all of a sudden, I do feel sick with it. The pretentiousness.

I have been feeling this way since over a week ago when a sudden bout of low hit me. Could it be due to the age factor, coming to a certain phase in my life? I dunno...

I am lucky enough to just name a handful of friends whom I can depend on but 400?

I have a long lost friend who was so happy to see me again in facebook and we reminisced on old times and the things that I saw her went through... but when the time came to meet up, there were an endless bout of excuses of why she can't see me and that got to me... I mean, why bother.

Then, there were some people who were never even fond of me in Uni and were very clear with me on that then and all of a sudden expects me to add them into my circle of friends. Like, what the...

Do I really have 400 friends? And if you add someone, does that necessarily earn a friendship badge? And if you strike a friend off your list, does that make you both non-friends? Does it make you less of a friend or is that just plain normal and acceptable because in real life, we also unconsciously categorise our friends - with whom we trust more compared to the rest?

It's just that categorising subconsciously compared to putting it clearly online for the user makes it seem more pretentious. For me, at least.

So, like this is just a phase for me? Questioning all these. Does this mean I am going to move away slowly from my online presence there or will this be applied to everything else?

Why am I feeling this all of a sudden? Why am I suddenly affected by this?

Seeing the better side of things.

Today has been a little frustrating... first of all, the internet connection sucked since morning.

We have been using Izzi broadband for more than 2 years totally hassle-free. Now, once we have renewed our 3rd year with them, the internet service seems to have dwindled away... we never got disconnected, ever, but recently it has been downright frustrating with its intermittent connection and worse still, we would always experience a no connection every time it rains. Like wth?

Then, there has been some lagging with my microsoft word application. It is original, mind you, and it happened once before... every time I make any amendments to a file I am working on, it immediately hangs and I am forced to quit the application. Today itself, I had to type one word and made sure I saved the file... saved the file every single time one word was typed so that when I force quit the application, the changes remain. Damn it!

Then, there was a power outage around 3.30pm just now due to heavy rain and I cringed at the thought of my computer not shutting down properly *urgghh*

After all these, and feeling so blardy irritated about the whole thing, I took a second look at myself and let out a deep breath, knowing very well that what I am facing is nothing compared to an ex-colleague who just lost his beloved wife early this morning. Though I hardly knew his wife, I felt a little disturbed by that piece of news because I can't help feeling very sad for their 2-year old daughter, who probably needs her more than ever at this very tender age.

Sometimes we all get so consumed by all these minute things happening in our lives that we forgot to say thanks to Him for this opportunity to live another day, to breathe in the beauty of life and share our happiness with those closest to us.

To Zul, I can never imagine how you must feel at the moment, but all I can say is for you to be strong for your little girl. Cherish what you still have and plan for what's best in the coming future. Al-fatihah to arwah Sheema.

Do You Really Know Where Your Kids Are?

I just dropped my eldest at school earlier on... everyone in his school is supposed to attend their Teachers' Day do in the morning, including those sitting in the afternoon session. He told me that attendance was compulsory but many of his friends weren't attending. Therefore, I asked him if he wanted to go.

Well, I guess knowing that friends are getting more important in his life now, he definitely felt he needed to go to school. So, off we went and I saw that the school was still pretty empty. What worried me was when I saw a couple (this boy and a girl) leaving the school compound, looking back over their shoulders as if trying to make sure that their parents (maybe?) didn't see them while they walked out probably going out on a date.

*gosh*

I mean, I would rather that my kids run back home instead of sneak out like that.. aren't they too young to go out together?

But then again, times have changed and I wouldn't want to control my kids from wanting to explore making friends and socialising since I myself grew up feeling awkward since I was overly protected by my parents and didn't get to go out with friends until I finished my SPM exams. In the end, I wasn't smart in my social skills and was too trusting of people.

But but but... I would be really worried if my children would sneak out on a school day. I mean, I would at least expect them to tell me that they do not wish to go to school (in events like today) and would want to hang out with friends who weren't going to school. Of course, which parents would allow that, huh? Yeah... maybe not... guess that was why those two kids sneaked out.

Oh, I dunno... hanging out with the right circle of friends is so important. At least back then, I didn't have friends who taught me to lie to my parents and they never pressured me into going out with them. Nowadays, I feel the need to get to know the parents whose children are friends with my eldest but sadly, many of them are not even aware of their kids' wellbeing, or so they say about their parents.

My only hope if my son does that in the future is for him to be able to make the right decisions for him and the girl he's out with, to just make it an innocent outing at McD's and ice cream afterwards, and then head back in time for school to end. But then again, as they say, one starts with innocent moments like this for it to develop into something more experimental which may or may not get out of hand. Oh, I am now, SUPER SCARED.

Is there a Being A Good Parent for Dummies guide? Gosh... this is one stage where I need to learn quick...

"...so many things have been happening at work and the urge to quit working to be a SAHM is getting stronger. The only thing is I am afraid I will not be able to sustain my lifestyle if I just stay home and take care of the kids. How do I start a business? I need to work something out, so that I can generate some income while staying home with the kids. I get so jealous reading about your experience working at home and seeing your children grow up in front of you."

Toughcookie says:

First of all, the grass always look greener on the other side. Before you make such a decision, why don't you try it for at least a month or two. This is because, many SAHM have told me that they hate looking at themselves at home as they no longer have 'ME' time. A handful of working moms who've tried being a SAHM had also admitted to me that getting out of the house to work is like an escapism for them... they can be more relaxed outside of the house rather than screaming at the top of their lungs day in day out dealing with their kids and they are also able to go for coffee breaks and long lunches while gossiping or shopping without the kids clinging to their pair of legs.

As for me, I had always thought of myself a successful career woman. But I guess, I do feel burnt out after working hard every single day since the day after my final exams in Uni. Lucky me, I have a husband who works in an organisation with sufficient medical coverage for our family and I guess that was part of the encouraging factor for me to pursue taking a break for at least 6 months after the baby was born, or so I thought.

Well, frankly, I love being at home because my work required me to work long hours... and I had to travel at least a week of every month. I couldn't see myself separating from the family and truthfully, I became lazy ever since I found a man who pampered me the way no other man did. So, making that decision was not very difficult.

During the initial stage, though, you'd somehow feel a little inferior about yourself especially if you have friends who've kinda made it in their career. I found that I had to explain to people that I used to head a department in a public listed company (and made sure I emphasised that the department held responsibilities at 'group' level) just so that I would be taken more seriously and not be perceived negatively as a tai tai. Of course, I realised I am out of this inferiority stage as I no longer felt the need to tell an old friend whom I recently bumped into of this fact when she raved about how a former classmate is now a manager of a private limited company. So, I guess one would need to go through this initial stage until it wears off.

Initially too, as much as I liked how we were leading our life, there were many decisions that we needed to make especially in terms of our financials in order for us to lead an 'easy life'... what I meant by 'easy life' is a life that's not filled with so much debt just because we want to 'look good' all the time. Therefore, we needed to make some sacrifices so that I could still do some bits of shopping for the kids every now and then, that we could still enjoy eating out at the places we love to hang out and we made sure there's some emergency stash for well... emergencies.

As for you sustaining your current lifestyle, I can vouch that your expenses on yourself will slow down immensely when you've stopped working. I am not sure about the majority of SAHM's out there but I have spoken to some friends of mine who shared the same view - that they didn't need to shop that much anymore since they're always in their t-shirts and sweatpants. For me, I didn't feel that I needed to look smashing all the time, I hardly wear make up unless I'm out with the one and I've been wearing my very comfy pregnancy shoes almost everywhere I went. Of course, nowadays I do make it a point to look good because one year of staying chubby and plain became a little boring to me :) but I am still wearing them shoes from Scholl because they are so comfortable! So, when I think of this, yes, you'd be making some sacrifices in the beginning but things will turn out well in time... I believe so :)

I think when you've decided such a thing - to stop working, you must talk this over with your other half on what he expects out of you and what you both are willing to compromise. It can be a little depressing at times when you feel like there's no other way to cut yourself into 10 parts and still be useful to your family but all that can go away when you have a supportive and understanding partner. A lot of people think this SAHM is an easy peasy role (some even think it's a no brainer!) and it can get a little challenging having to explain how tiring it can be (and sometimes even worthless to get into this argument with people) so, it helps if your other half does not think of it that way and thinks of you as a strong contributor to the family.

As for doing business, what is it that you like to do? It's no point getting into a business for the sake of doing business. Doing something you like can ensure its sustainability and viability. It won't be a smooth start but your passion will keep it going, while you maintain your priorities to your family. All I can say is that the possibilities are endless. Once you're out of the rat race, your mind will think of stuff you'd never think of. Some people say my optimism is due to my business-minded nature. Truthfully, I was never business-minded but the fact that I would like to have my own pocket money to spend as I like, the mind starts to get very creative all the time and you'll see plenty of things as an opportunity to make money. Well... you'll think of something....

Sometimes, things will not turn out the way you planned and I don't think one should be very rigid. At first, I bought a sewing machine and an edging machine to start a sewing project but the projects never got through and I found myself doing writing and translation jobs for old contacts. I even took some part time sewing lessons just so that I keep myself abreast with the latest technology, techniques and tools to start up a tailoring business but as it turned out, the person who impart her sewing knowledge to me became one of my clients ;)

Therefore, one will never know what one's potential is in business until one starts doing something. Just do something and open your eyes and mind to any possibilities.

I hope my explanation is satisfactory to you and I wish you all the best of luck. It all boils down to how determined you are and you can start finding out if you are going to be happy staying home by taking small steps at a time. One shouldn't be hasty about taking this big step especially if you're so used to working. However, I do think that as much as being a SAHM can be pretty tiring, frustrating at times and not a glorified job, the non-monetary benefits do make me feel extremely happy and highly rewarded. Don't give up that easily when times are hard and it always helps to keep a positive mind.

It's tough being a mom, yet tougher as a good mom.

It has been a very tiring day today (Saturday)... all of us in the family had quite a full day, starting as early as 7.45am til almost 10pm just now and this toughcookie fell asleep unintentionally only to be sharply awaken by little jj who badly needed the attention from someone. Well, my 13-year old was busy on the net while daddy was engrossed with his PS3 and I guess the only fair thing to do was to wake mommy up as mommy will do anything to keep her happy.

I woke up, gave her the much deserved attention and passed her back to daddy while I finally get to do laundry at such a late hour. In a situation like this, we all do what we have to do, don't we?

Anyways, this got me to thinking about Mothers' Day tomorrow (or today, rather, as this post was drafted just before midnight prior to Mothers' Day). Now, whomever says that mommies are allowed the same benefit as those in employment during Labour Day? Which mommy can tell me if they really are granted an off day, like totally, 100% - no cleaning, no cooking, no tending to any members of the family, nothing... anyone?

It's never easy being a mom, and it is even more difficult to be a good mom....

A good mom doesn't just deliver a baby into the world and raise the baby up hoping that they'd be a successful person automatically... a good mom does much more beyond taking care of their kids. A good mom tends to the family, put everyone else's needs before hers, raise her children up well to be a human of strong character, tell them frankly if they have made a mistake so that they would be a better person and be sure to support them in times of need. A good mom would not be afraid to let her kids know who's boss yet allow her kids to develop into who they want to be even with some pressure put on them because she has experienced it all before and does not wish to have her kids go through life's tough lesson the hard way.

I am not sure how good of a mom I've been so far... but I do know that I've worked very hard to support my family even during those 7 years of life as a single mom, raising a child with ADHD and Dyslexia, so that I could afford the therapy bills and additional classes for my growing child's needs. I would so want to be a good mom but seeing how different my 13-year old is now that he's in a stage where his friends seem to be more important than family, I would want to learn how other moms with grown up sons handle their teenage needs and how tough it is to want to be firm and tough without putting too much pressure on them.

It's never an easy task being a parent, not just for a mom. But since I am on the topic of Mothers' Day, allow me to just indulge in my emotional rush via this form of expression that I know best - writing.

I think I started to fully appreciate my mom as my mom when I got my first child. I suddenly realised the sacrifices that she had to go through, especially having us kids who didn't necessarily made her entirely happy. Yes, she has her weaknesses where our personality clashes like nobody's business and yes, we had our heated moments back then. Heck, there were too many disagreements especially on my way of life, the decisions that I made and so forth that made our relationship a little tense at one point in time, but I've realised that she has not been a mother who's not good.

Having a teenage child and one baby who clings on me constantly, I realised that my mom, despite whatever situation we're in, would always not fail to remind me that she's my mother, so that I will never lose ground.

I realised that despite whatever challenges that went her way, she would never lose sight of her children, bring us all back into what's real, nags all she wants if she feels she needs to, make us hate being in that situation if the situation calls for it yet at the end of the day, we all know that all was done because of her love for her children and her children are hers for an entire lifetime. No mother would want their kids to suffer through life yet no good mothers would want their kids to not learn their lessons after a bad fall, either.

It's never easy being a mother, as I have recently realised after some bouts of crisis, and even harder being a good mother.

A good mother does not need to be afraid to correct the wrong yet admit that she has made a mistake, and lower her ego all in the name of love. A good mother doesn't protect her kids who have done grave mistakes while she reprimands those who truly love her, who does whatever it takes for her and constantly thinks only of her feelings. I mean, what good does it do to mistreat the better children only to protect those bad apples because a good mom would know that that will never solve the problem, and the individual will never learn her lesson.

A good mother doesn't go against her word just for her convenience but demonstrate equal respect to all her kids because she knows that respect is earned and that she would want her kids to respect and love her, not only because it's her rights as a mom.

A good mother is able to tolerate life's challenges because she, of all people, would understand more about life while her kids are still only less than half of her age, who still needs time to learn while they tread the rough pathways of life and that they need all the guidance they can get unconditionally, not being treated second class just because they are willing to put up with everything in order to learn and be a better person.

Yes, it is hard being a mother, and more so, being a good mother.

I am still learning especially in this recent development dealing with a growing boy-turning-into-a- young man who sometimes rebel and unsure of what he needs to do or where he should step. A good mother will not let her child get lost and bring him back with proper guidance.

As much as I had so much resentments with how my mother handled me before - of how overly protective she was of me in my teenage years, so much so that I couldn't even go out with my friends until I've completed my SPM exams... I couldn't understand why I needed to be chauffeured driven everywhere I went and why I was constantly reminded to take good care of myself, as if I didn't already know of that particular fact.

The truth is, as much as it sounded really irritating - of her repeating to me constantly to take good care of myself, I guess I now am so thankful for that constant nagging as I now know that she loves me that much to be so worried of me and afraid that I'd lose myself in the beauty of life as a grown lady.

Mak, is a conservative woman who didn't bother much about being a friend to her daughter because she felt that discipline and doing everything proper, according to her style was the way to raise her children. It was a stressful life being a teenager under her roof and I never understood her style fully.

Now that I am a mother myself, I am exhumed with total relief that she raised me the way she did as all her qualities of a good mom suddenly became so clear to me...

Yes, being a good mom is not very easy but that her ways of raising her children made us who we are today, prevented us from making any irreversible life mistakes that could ruin our future but most of all, ensuring that her kids do not take her for granted. She's firm and she's an even tougher cookie compared to me but after 34 years of my life, I suddenly realised that she had at least tried to be a good mom. No matter how difficult her children once thought life was under her roof, we all could now safely testify that after having kids of our own, and going through life one day at a time, we are truly grateful to be born in that family and to have her as our mother.

She is a remarkable mother and I deem her, a good mother.

It ain't easy being a good mother, but she has been one damn good mother.

There is no need to pretend in our family and there isn't any need to be manipulative to get what we want. Everything is done in a straight-forward manner and honesty becomes a very important factor for the family to remain strong albeit with the many weaknesses.

Now that I have kids of my own, I would like to take all the positive things that she's taught us. I vow to never lose sight of what's important for my kids that whatever I do or the decisions that I make for them (while they are under this same roof or not), will be for their benefit in the long run. I know I would need to be strong to face resistance from my kids if they find it hard to understand why I do the things I do because I know, 10-20 years down the road, they will be in my shoes now, looking back and realising that yes... it is difficult being a mom, but mommy was definitely a good mom.

i love you, mak... and i'm glad i got the chance to tell you that.

Happy Mothers' Day.

Self-Empowerment is power.

Made my way with my little tote (little jj, I mean) to Ikea over lunch today to meet a friend, Ros, who was showing me some stuff she was selling.

I had just added her in my fb friends list after meeting her while I visited a friend at the hospital. I've bumped into Ros a few times before but we never got to chat the way we did that day. So, after she had confirmed my request to add her, I went browsing away her fb page and discovered that she owns a blog selling authentic american brand goods.

Anyway, in my haste to get everything done in the morning - like feeding little jj, getting everyone ready, getting myself ready and sending the little munchkin to school, I reached Ikea only to realise that I forgot little jj's baby bag. And I hate when that happens!

See, it is a norm every time we leave the house - that I am usually busy with little jj and my eldest is entrusted with the responsibility to carry his little sister's baby bag. But I guess he had forgotten all about it this morning and since I was so engrossed with chasing after little jj before she gets into the elevator alone, I totally didn't see the lack of one more bag in my eldest's hands.

I was stumped when I couldn't find the bag. Because I had already reached my destination and I have parked the car. What made it worse was that I brought my little handbag instead of my usual large one that contains the entire house :( hehe... almost.

But, in a split second, I decided that I would just meet Ros and rush back home as soon as we're done. After all, I had given little jj milk just before we left the house, I had changed her diaper as well and the things I was worried about was her top getting dirty at lunch as I didn't have her bib, the absence of her favourite water tumbler and if she did a number 2 - which were all points that I deemed manageable, if they did occur.

Oh, but little jj gave me a pleasant surprise, though... she behaved so well and my concerns were unfounded. I placed her in the high chair at Ikea's cafe and she played on her own while I bought lunch. I know she likes fries and I ordered the famous Swedish Meatballs that comes with fries. For her drink, I got her the Spritzer Mineral Water and made sure I got a straw as well. When I got back to the table, she was all quiet minding her own business and Ros and another friend, Aje, were also surprised that little jj didn't cry for me. Wahhh... she's a big girl already *sob sob*

So, I had my meatballs and little jj ate away her fries while I chat away with Ros and Aje. In the middle of it, I fed her my meatballs and little jj truly loved it... so much so that she totally rejected the fries I gave her after that and only wanted the meatballs :) She was so full after the last piece of meatball and she then started to get cranky as she wanted to sleep. Thankfully, I was already done by then. All in all, I think I had a good 1 1/2 hours before I had to grant her my full attention.

Anyway, in the end, I didn't get anything from Ros although I initially thought I would get this sling bag from her. It looked really gorgeous to me but after I tried it on me, it didn't really complement me due to its relatively large size compared to my petite frame. The sling can be adjusted to a handbag but it defeats the purpose since I know I will never use it as a handbag.

Ros also brought other stuff like other types of bags, wallets and even a collared-T. I felt very tempted to get at least one other stuff from her but I realised that I cannot lose focus. I think I've been going on a shopping spree these couple of months and I think I should really stop doing that... I mean, I am worried of this inability to control myself where I cannot stop shopping, and always using the excuse that I haven't been shopping much for myself for the 18 months since little jj was born... that I wasn't able to do anything much until recently when she weaned off of me. There's really no end to shopping and the needs that I keep wanting to fulfill!

So... when I realised this particular factor just a couple of weeks ago, I started to see that having self-control is a form of self empowerment that can make you feel just as good.

Yes, you may be able to afford those things you buy but if you don't really need them in the first place, it may be wiser to keep your mind focused and move on to what's more important in life.

I think I sorta already filled that void I was feeling for the many things I had to sacrifice. I know you may think it isn't much but to those who know me well, and know how much I love the beautiful things in life like dressing up and taking care of my skin, visits to the hair salon and all things vain, the fact that I had pushed them all far back in order to tend to a very clingy baby (and also because money is better spent on the kids anyways), 18 months seem to be a huge achievement for me.

I had so much fun shopping the last couple of months and got plenty of new stuff since I saw my size [almost] returning to normal. I still can't fit into my old clothes and I am too small to fit in those large non-maternity attires I wore during my pregnancy... so you can imagine the many stuff I got to fill the void in my cupboard. But that need didn't go away and I kept going shopping, at times not even bothered about the price tags.

So, with the realisation that it's time to stop as I've enough new clothes, make up and skincare products to get by for another year (yeah yeah... we'll see), I am now keeping my mind focused on this promise I made to myself.

And... since that sling bag wasn't suited for vertically challenged moi, I guess I shouldn't let myself be tempted to spend on other stuff unnecessarily. Gosh... that felt good. I think! ;P

Now, over to more important matters... :)

A first real date after the baby...

It’s no joke. Some would complain after they complete their confinement period for the lack of privacy and inability to go on romantic dates alone with their husbands. For me and the one, it is probably 2 years since our last alone time together.

I guess it all lies in the fact that I was misinformed about some of the facts on the benefits of breastfeeding. And since I have been working from home, I have been always available and present at little jj's beck and call. That contributed to her totally rejecting milk in bottles and it caused her to be totally dependent and overly clingy on me.

It all got to quite a critical stage where I couldn’t have my proper rest and the one couldn’t even touch her, let alone contribute to any fatherly efforts like tucking her to bed. It would have been a very stressful situation if not for a very supportive husband and I guess he also appreciated the fact that he didn’t have to wake up for the night feeds at all (eheh!).

We had our ‘trial’ date during the one’s annual dinner when little jj was around 8 months old. I did an ‘induction course’ for her to get more familiar with atuk and nenek and in turn, like them. But you know, the fact that she didn’t even want anyone else to hold her then except for when daddy bathed her, I kind of expected that my dinner with him would be a short one.

We had the whole troop in our apartment (I was supposed to send her to atuk’s house but she cried non-stop there!) – atuk, nenek, abang, even her favourite cousins, Qilah and Nina, to play with her, entertain her and keep her occupied, while I quietly left the apartment and headed towards KL. The one was already waiting for me at the hotel and we had such a wonderful time chatting over cocktail. It felt like we were dating those years before being married. We talked the way we haven’t been able to since the arrival of little jj and we laughed the way we haven’t laughed, since little jj came into the world (I mean, laughing freely without having to control our volume...) ;)

As you can read here, I got a call around 9.30pm or so, just after we had dinner and I could clearly hear little jj’s loud cry in the background. Yes, she would do that even to daddy, then. My mom was terribly worried because it has been an hour since she didn’t stop crying and especially because little jj broke in heavy sweats that she wanted to take little jj to the clinic (hiks)! I told her that there’s nothing to worry about because yes, she sweats when she cries her lungs out and I got ready to leave the hotel. The one continued to stay on and told me to drive safely.

When I arrived half an hour later speeding my way through KL traffic, she was still crying out loud. I expected her to fall asleep while crying but apparently, she had waited for me to come home. Imagine to our amusement, she stopped immediately when she saw me home and she was laughing and playing about, all looking okay like nothing was wrong hehe…

So, yeah, that trial date totally didn’t work out the way we had hoped. And from then on, we never tried until end of last month when the one’s annual dinner made its way again. This time, little jj was around 20 months old and she has made plenty of positive progress because firstly, she has learnt to socialise from those weekly classes at Kizsports and secondly, she had just started to openly accept milk in the bottle. And that second point helped immensely when I was at my busiest that month, and having to attend meetings at night as frequent as three times a week. In those busy-ness, I was impressed at her confidence that she didn’t even seem to miss my absence when I once arrived home after 11pm.

I guess all that, plus the almost daily trips to nenek and atuk’s house after picking abang up from school, made her feel right at home there. Although she still needs time to warm up before atuk and nenek could even hug or kiss her, she no longer cried there and that gave me a chance to leave her with nenek when those rare need arise for me to attend serious meetings during the day.

But but but… the test would be the 2nd annual dinner that I would be attending with the one and we were both worried. She has never been without her mommy and daddy at night and I cringed to think what other tricks she has up her sleeves. I treat everything as sensitive so that the night could be a perfect one for us… and we were so happy to note that she totally passed the acid test! We arrived to pick her up around 11pm and she didn’t even cry. The entire house was dark because nenek wanted her to sleep but she went to doing her own stuff there and hugged me tight in joy when she saw me. Of course with mommy at her side, she didn’t feel that she needed to be friendly with atuk and nenek anymore ;P

Now, my mom had always made it clear to us (her children) that she never had any desires to take care of her grandchildren (especially babies) and that we were all responsible for our own children. But I guess, since she saw how much effort I put in raising little jj all on my own, and the fact that this little one is hard to please, it was probably a great sense of achievement for her when little jj accepts her and allows nenek to feed her/play with her. Of course, as always, I wouldn’t want to take advantage of my mom's willingness to babysit and that 2nd dinner we attended was cut short in order for us to next time ask for this kind of favour from her when we feel the need to have ‘alone’ time together.

As little jj has always been pretty unpredictable, I am again, keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow… as we both will embark on our FIRST date after around 2 YEARS! Unfortunately, since it is a school day for our little munchkin, we may not be able to stretch tomorrow’s date for too many activities… so, we’re only making time for a romantic night at the movies where I am sure, dinner is included in the pitch darkness of the cinema. But that is romantic too, right? Hehe…

We used to catch a movie every other week those days but I am glad that we’re both not too demanding with the expectations that everything should be the same as it was before. Raising a family needs some sacrifices and what do you know… the time has finally came for us to finally go out again together.

Life always works its way to your advantage but you just wouldn’t know when that will happen. So, despite everything, I am glad that we're both extremely patient with little jj's quirks for us to appreciate what we could do again, tomorrow. So here’s hoping for more positive developments from now on, eh ☺

Do wish us luck, and for little jj to behave well with atuk & nenek, ya.

The blog title is an affirmation.

Recently, I’ve been plagued with a downturn in my energy to post new entries. In fact, I’ve drafted several but yet to click the ‘PUBLISH POST’ button because I am hell bent on posting something sincere from the heart and they may be too much info from the heart.

After blogging for what, 4-5 years now… I think I may have reached that cycle of most bloggers. I mean, many of them bloggers whom I was associated closely then, no longer blog actively. And like them, I am also more into tweeting for a quick, simple and hassle-free update, which is almost like writing a blog post, only much shorter.

Currently, many people blog for money. I can’t say much about it because as much as I felt that I would be leaving personal blogging for good, my dwindling spirits were suddenly given a little motivation boost (if not much) after looking at the continuous increase in the amount I am getting from Nuffnang. Hence, this blog post.

I dunno… apart from the fact that the normal lifecycle of a blogger is the contributing factor for this 'downturn', many things happening and moi not getting any younger, tends to make one get very much involved in life’s turn of events. And let’s face it, I’m a passionate person. I never really realised that until the one pointed that out to me and I have come to terms with that fact, that I am passionate in whatever issues I get myself involved with… while some are very positive, those negative ones are what kept my brain working because naturally, everyone would want to improve their life experiences and I would definitely want to improve myself – to be better and to not easily fall for people with so much negative energy in them because they easily pull others down with them.

Let’s face it. This passionate woman only has the best interests to those dear to her. But not everyone knows how to appreciate a passionate person. Some would come to me probably only for affirmation and you can’t get that from me every time since this toughcookie will only tell you the truth about what she feels from it all and we all know that the truth may not be that easy to accept. But, one should hear the truth… the fact that every one else gives you that loud cheer and agrees to everything you say or do, does not necessarily make them a good friend. Same goes to when a person does something against your will, doesn’t necessarily make them an enemy because from my experience in life, one may not be on your side because they are acting on your best interest – many a times you may not even realise it because one will only believe what one wants to believe. When that happens, it’s not their loss but yours.

I like to look at many different angles about any issues. Some say I think a lot but the one could vouch that my thinking allows me to foretell statements that do not tally which most often lead to us trapping insincere people in their own web of lies. I don’t know whether this comes from just seeing things from all angle or coupled with strong female instincts… or maybe, I am just a natural “lie detector”.

And that [partly] contributed to the dwindling mood to update my personal blog because I think I’ve come to a stage where I only want to divulge my personal views, daily experiences, etc. only to those who matters to me – those really dear to me, who sincerely loves to keep abreast with what’s happening with me lately… not those who just want to read to further scrutinise what’s happening in my life, and then make calls to their friends/officemates/parents back home/[insert whatever as you please], to gossip and talk behind my back.

Yup, I do not want to give that benefit to those undeserving.

But though it’s a dilemma of sorts, I guess after seeing an increase in the amount I got from Nuffnang though I haven’t been consistently updating, I just have to brush insignificant people aside and focus on what I have long been working on.

Guess at times, even the most passionate and positive person could get a little side-tracked.

No, I am not pregnant.

So, to friends who already knew and those who didn’t, I am not pregnant but was about to adopt.

In the midst of those news everywhere in our country of babies being murdered, burnt to death even, we were approached with a problem… of a baby born out of wedlock, the mother who’s unable to care for her due to it being a big sin in the eyes of our society and of her family who wouldn’t want to bear the public humiliation.

I think while some people think it is a noble intention to take in another stranger’s baby to raise as your own, others probably think it is a glorified sacrifice… that one probably does this to portray oneself as a hero to everybody. I don’t think that is a fair statement, although everyone has the right to his or her opinions.

First of all, the intention to adopt doesn’t come very easily. One would have to know that they’re prepared to face so many risks and consequences. For the one and I, we saw the positive side of it first. We saw how so much more conducive the environment can be for the baby to grow up with us, how much both parents could shower the baby with the love she deserves and the security and stability that we would have provided for her.

Don’t get me wrong, I always believed that the best person to raise a baby is her own mother. A mother’s love can never be replaced. A mother can do anything to protect her child where in this case, the mother initially thought something she couldn’t handle.

In our Asian society where a woman is always expected to take care of her pride and self respect, a lot of these women are shunned from the society as they are seen to have made the gravest mistake of their lives. Our Malay society would more often judge them for being easy and families would disown them. Hence, the reason why the so many recent cases of babies being left to die by their own mother.

While some of us continue to judge them, we, on the other hand, were only thinking about the baby. Yes, it was none of our business as it wasn’t our mess, but since we were called in when this situation occurred, what else could we have done. Of course, we could have just closed one eye and pretended that we didn’t have to care but I dunno… as a mother myself and seeing how innocent the baby looked in the picture, I can’t help but to feel for her and offered a solution which I knew was doable.

The mental and physical preparation for parents to adopt cannot be taken so lightly. First of all, we would have already prepared ourselves mentally to raise the baby as our own. More often than not, a lot of parents out there who adopt, wouldn’t want to tell society that their baby is adopted. They would want to say it’s theirs because of many reasons, more specifically as they want to keep providing that security for the baby and to ensure that they are always fair in how they treat all their children. For us, we went a little over board in our excitement as if we were getting a baby of our own. We’ve prepared everything needed for the baby to be as comfortable as possible in our care and we've notified those significant to us, to avoid questions later.

We only had about 1 week to prepare and although we already have so many clothes and stuff of little jj’s, we still went all out to get new stuff for her since I felt that the new baby deserves some new stuff.

We’ve even made the little munchkin understand about the arrival of the new baby and why it is important to treat her as a family member. In fact, the little munchkin was even willing to give up his room to his 2 sisters and we transformed our office into a room that’s adequate enough for him. After all, we only had 1 week but once we have set our mind into something, we went all out into making sure we were prepared for the baby’s arrival. Heck, we were even discussing about changing my soccermom car to a 7-seater MPV just so that we could accommodate more people, when the need arise.

It’s like, when you put your mind into something, we were willing to do what it takes. All these at top of our mind, always knowing that one day, the mother would want to look for her child and the child, upon understanding why there is no information of the father on her birth certificate, would question her existence and her rights to the truth.

Yes, we were aware of all these. We were. And that mental preparation is something that we’ve conditioned ourselves, and the immediate families that were to be our best support system.

But… in the end… I guess you can only help those who want to help themselves. I guess in some cases like this, where the family initially only cared about how society would look upon their family, once they have seen the baby, all that disappeared. Decisions can change and you would also come across those characters who were silent and weren’t even considered in the initial decision making process, claiming their willingness to take the baby into their care.

So, in the end, it became what everyone else felt. Decisions were made not for the best interest of the baby but what everyone else wanted.

I am not disappointed at the mother changing her mind after we have taken care of the baby because as a mother, I fully understand how much pain she must have felt after carrying the baby full term. I am only disappointed at how everything turned out in the end… that process when the baby was taken away from our care.

Frankly, we felt relieved that the mother changed her mind before we became too attached to the baby but the fact that those involved who had initially welcomed our help made us look like we rushed everything and took the baby without the mother’s consent, was totally unnecessary.

I know all these are just excuses to justify whatever mistake they must have made before they came to this current decision but it is totally unfair to us. It is not easy to agree to something like this. I never asked for any acknowledgement on our part but we were never prepared to be treated this way after all that has happened.

This has seriously taught us a priceless lesson in life. For me, as I’ve told the one, I would like for him to restrain me everytime I get too emotionally involved in one’s problems when they come to me for help. Hey, I am a passionate woman, and that is how I live my life but this was a big slap in my face and I totally regret getting my family involved in it.

I know, as some said to me that this is a blessing in disguise… yes, I am very sure of that. But this was totally avoidable in the first place, if I hadn’t opened my mouth to volunteer. The fact that we we’re supposed to be the good guys suddenly left us as mean, inconsiderate people to the family, was totally uncalled for. So, I ask you, why do these people do what they do? Why is it that such good intentions is easily forgotten and taken lightly? Why do people conveniently blame those offering the solution they initially wanted and turn everything around into their drama?

You all know how it is when I get super protective of my family… there goes my mother cat mode with the fangs and claws and all… I detest the way it turned out in the end because I believed that things could have been handled in a more civilised way – where the mom could tell us truthfully right from the start of her change of heart, and her family could just take the baby away from us, apologise for whatever mess and we would have understood. After all, we didn’t go looking for a baby to adopt in the first place. It came to us.

This has seriously changed the way we look at life now. I know I have always told myself to not get involved in people’s issues that easily. But if you were in my shoes then, at the time when there were tears all around and looking at the subject’s photo, you would have at least felt for the baby.

Still, as the one told me, it isn’t even ours to begin with and that we shouldn’t really care. But this is the baby that will live to the day to even become friends with little jj in the future and I cringe to note how easy adults make decisions for a life who doesn’t even understand what's going on around her.

Ya ya… I keep hearing the voice at the back of my head saying this is none of my business. So, I am keeping it that way. Now that the baby’s back with her family, we would all need to pick up where we left and move on.

With what’s happened, I started to fully realise how much more important it is to take care of my own family. How much my family means so much to me and how I may have forgotten about what some other member of the family would have felt with the sacrifices that he/she needed to make, to accommodate to my desire to help another life. It isn’t right and we all need to be selfish the way others are selfish in their intentions.

We are glad that this episode is over and done with, with a deep scar in our hearts. I only hope that the baby is raised well to be a positive character in our society. But yeah, there goes that voice again, it is none of my business and wasn't mine in the first place.

In preparation for a new member...

Friends in facebook are aware of my search for a new stroller.

See, getting a new baby and considering the fact that I'd be taking care of 2 babies without help made me suggest to the one for us to have a new stroller that could fit 2 of them at one go. I know I've seen mommies who babywear the younger one on them while the much older toddler sits in the stroller but in terms of practicality, I would much prefer both babies to sit on a stroller rather than me having to lug a baby around while tending to another.

Mannn... stroller hunting is not easy here in our country... especially if you're looking for a duo stroller. First of all, there isn't much choice out there in the market compared to those you see abroad... I mean, we went to so many online stores in the UK and US and you'll find so many good brands that are affordably priced.

Over here, the only ones with a duo carrier is from Mothercare and Phils & Teds, while you have those twins stroller from MacLaren and Chicco. I shall not touch those on local brands or other China brands that are cheap and flimsy because I believe in quality and safety after a horrifying experience with my first born when he was 7-8 months old. Note: made in China and China brands are two different points, okay.

Anyways, as usual, once we have something on our minds, we would go ahead with the proper research online and then calling up a few places, and we then went on our hunt to get it over and done with.

*image credit to Kiddicare.com

This was what I wanted - the Graco Quattro Duo. it has individual trays for each passenger but most importantly, it could fit little jj's baby carrier for when the baby is still very small. however, this stroller is unavailable in our country and my enquiries to littlewhiz.com and Babies'R'Us provided me with a negative response :(

First up, right after little jj's class in Kizsports, we went over to all the baby shops in 1Utama. We found a twin stroller in Chicco which was around RM1,300 after discount. It was perfect for newborn to 4 years old kids so it was perfect for both little jj and a newborn, and the handling was pretty good so it was quite alright. The only thing I didn't like was, it was pretty tough to fold and the weight was pretty hefty. I mean... get this - I go out buy my groceries and all, then I would need to get the stuff into the car, get one baby into her car seat and another toddler into her car seat, and they would then have to wait before mommy could start the engine while mommy fold the stroller (kick here kick there for it to fold). By the time I am done, I foresee my babies crying out, feeling the heat from the car park, etc. The price was very reasonable though, and I said to the one that Chicco would be our last choice.

*image credit to Chicco

pretty, affordably priced but heavy and doesn't fold easily.

Another outlet in 1Utama that I always liked to drop by every now and then, is Mom's Care, nearby MPH. They have a huge variety of baby stuff in many good brands. Over there, we discovered the twin MacLaren. The price was slightly more than Chicco but within our budget, the handling was so easy, the material was of a better and more comfortable quality and it was much lighter than the first one we saw. However, despite it having all these positive qualities, I still didn't like how it folded and we were still contemplating on 2 things:

1. the twin stroller will make it tough for me to maneuver in many areas because majority of shops do not have alleys large enough to accommodate a twin stroller; and

2. we were still considering getting a new stroller for little jj so that the baby can use her current Graco travel system.

*image credit to Mothercare

lightweight, perfect for newborns but difficult to fold.

Both points each have their own positive outcome - the first point would make it easier for me to handle both kids at one time while the latter, would eliminate wastage as the current stroller can still be used especially that Graco is a good brand (and still in very good condition) plus the fact that when little jj grows up, we would only be using one stroller VS an empty space in the twin stroller. And, the latter would allow either one of us to take the babies separately either to the changing room or wherever else when need be.

Of course, I would still like to discover my options fully before getting one. So, off we went to Mothercare in Bangsar Shopping Center. For those of you who are not aware, BSC has the largest Mothercare outlet and I went crazy at their ELC area after the renovations at BSC was completed. I think so far, it must be the best baby outlet in this country.

There, in Mothercare BSC, I finally got to see Phils & Teds, which suits my requirements perfectly but with a deep hole in the pocket. Strange though, that we would just grab a designer handbag of a higher price without much guilt but would think long and hard for a stroller that cost RM3k plus ;P

*image credit to Kiddicare

gorgeous, comes in many colours but quite expensive here and complicated to fold.

The Phils & Teds duo strollers were absolutely gorgeous! They have huge tires which makes handling so efficient and they are absolutely light in weight. The folding was a little too complicated though, even for the sales assistant, and we didn't bother to consider it. I mean, if a trained sales assistant finds it hard to fold it, let alone a busy mommy who has her hands full.

So, Phils & Teds were definitely off the list despite it having all the points I need. Damn... it was so perfect...

We also discovered a Mothercare duo stroller which I already saw on their website. It is only slightly more than RM1k and has all the requirements I need too, except that it is much longer than P&T. The handling was pretty easy as well. It has its individual trays and cup holders and collapses very easily... just one turn of the handle and it folds down instantly. One step and boom. Perfect. There is no need to kick one lever and kick another lever and pull this and pull that and put them together (like that song, 'Hokey Pokey'). The only downside, is its weight after it is folded. I cannot possibly lug it into the boot of our car. It is waay too heavy. *urrgghhh*

*image credit to Mothercare

the photo doesn't do justice. personally, the design was ok, collapses like a charm but heavy.

Therefore, we then decided to stick to our 2nd option - for little jj to get a new stroller.

We were worried that she wouldn't like a new stroller because she's such a routine toddler. She likes familiarity and may not welcome something new.

I saw a single stroller from Combi which looked perfect... it 'spoke' to me and I fell in love instantly. It was damn light and just pretty for little jj. However, with one more stroller in our car boot, we know that we have to get one that folds like an umbrella to save space. The one even mentioned of one that he saw, that folds like a golf bag and he could carry it on his shoulder.

So, adding another hour to our stroller hunting in Mothercare BSC, we discovered one from MacLaren. It was only RM600+ and could fold like an umbrella, exactly like what the one mentioned. The only thing was, it doesn't have a front tray, which many parents say one of the reasons for their much older toddler's disinterest in sitting on strollers... without a tray, I know little jj would not have that 'security' of being locked in, especially where she uses the tray as a table for her to put both feet up at times hehe. And, she could rest her favourite books on the tray.

But as life has it, one cannot have it all, right? We let her try out the MacLaren, she hated it at first but as soon as the one strapped her nicely, she actually let daddy push her around the shop.

little jj, trying the stroller out with much resistance initially...

So, we asked for a nice raspberry colour which they have one, asked them to take it out of the box and everything else, put her inside and walah.... the princess fell asleep. Soundly.

what's perfect in my eyes may not be perfect in hers... but this picture is absolutely perfect :)

So yes, we found the 'perfect' stroller. And despite moi wanting a stroller that can fit both babies, I guess this choice is more practical. However, I may not be able to go out that freely without being accompanied by another adult... I mean, I can't possibly push two strollers, right... so................ there goes my freedom. But what is life without those small sacrifices, right?

And there goes our adventure :)

A WAHM's Work-in-progress: Tired but still smiling.

It is 4.35 am and I am still up, being used to this pattern that's been ongoing since about a month ago. And as much as I've said many times that most of the urgent stuff have pretty much dissipated, things are unfortunately (or fortunately) beyond my control. I am blessed to be so overwhelmed with work although I would prefer most to be within more manageable deadlines compared to those 24-48 hours rush jobs I had to do for some. Well, you can't have everything easy but then again, people should know that rush jobs may not get you quality results...

I tell you, it has been terribly crazy these past few weeks and I am so darn glad to have such an understanding husband... I can't emphasise that enough... it helped even more that the (not-so-little-anymore) munchkin can now iron his school uniform all on his own and I am lifted off that one part of the responsibilities in the morning.

In all these, I managed to slot in voluntary work for Mom Bloggers Planet first anniversary do (which I will update again later today, I hope!) and it was such an amazing event with amazing people I worked with, given the many factors that I will share in that post later. That Sunday, I was still up completing a final rush job til about 6.30am and had only about half hour of sleep while nursing little jj. It was so stressful getting everyone up and ready that morning until we actually forgot the baby bag. It helped so much that the one was so supportive of this particular project and he willingly went back home with little jj to get the baby bag while I busied myself with the necessary tasks I've committed with MBP at the Shah Alam Lake. Thus, my mind was totally clear and able to totally focus on the event.

Seriously, as I've shared with the one, as much as I welcome all these work for the extra bucks I am getting for myself, I don't think I am cut for all these adrenaline rush anymore. I am too old for all these (like, really). I have been putting on weight as I needed to eat to stay awake and my skin has really gone so bad due to the lack of sleep and SIX to EIGHT packets of pre-mix nescafe that I consumed everyday to keep me alert, since the past month. This is crazy and I know that I may have increased my chance of getting cancer due to the excessive intake of instant stuff within the short time frame, and probably even premature aging due to the adrenaline rush plus stress from the high amount of caffeine. I am not doing my body much justice and I do want to stop all these madness.

Today, I may be going through the first stages of withdrawal as I've reduced the caffeine intake but I am still unable to sleep and I hope I will go through this without much side effects. I hope.

I am extremely happy though that I have been appointed as Editor/Writer for some kiddy magazines. This would ensure a nice steady monthly income while I work from home. Hence, I can now probably say no to rush jobs and stick to my usual regular deadlines that are more manageable. This is a really positive development and I am grateful to those clients who had referred me to this particular publisher. Hope all goes well as I truly want to lead a 'normal' life.

With those rush jobs now out of the way, I foresee less stress even with the one going away for 3 days starting today. It's been awhile since he left the family for his work trips and I am glad that the timing couldn't have been more perfect. I would like to just sit in front of the TV (again) while feeding little jj her breakfast instead of me facing the computer while feeding her... or read to her properly during those quality breaks rather than just putting her books on my lap while pretending to read when my eyes are fixed on the screen while my fingers get busy typing... most importantly, I would like to start feeding her home-cooked meals again rather than rely on Mr Heinz and Mr Petite Gems.

I am so so tired. I am. But I am still smiling :)

Oh, and before I end this post, let me leave you with this video of little jj, 'singing' to Michael Jackson's Stranger In Moscow ;)

Curious Kids Need To Be Tough Inside

supposedly written by Jada Kyra

Mommy has been busy with work. So, before the deadline's up, let me write this entry on how mommy help increase my immune system so that I can continue to be curious with the entire world... after all, I am only 17 months old and I still have a lot to discover! :)

Curious kids can be a handful... and who would know this better than I do - I am curious all the time! I would peek into abang's lunch plate as I would always see Mickey Mouse in it; I would want to touch the vacuum cleaner when daddy is handling it because I am always intrigued by the loud sound it makes; I would want to taste everything adults eat because my food always tastes quite the same; I would check in mommy constantly in the kitchen because I find it hard to understand what she does in there; I like to shake any water bottles because it is amazing seeing and hearing water being shaken; I would want to touch everything mommy or daddy touches because I want to feel the difference in the texture; and the list goes on and on... Sometimes, I pity my mom because I would catch her by surprise with my speedy actions but I am just a curious baby... and curious babies need to be tough inside.

Being curious is a good thing because that is how I learn about things... I learn how painful it is if I do not get up slowly from under the table because I can accidentally knock my head; I know better not to touch those shiny pots on the stove because they feel hot to the touch and I can get hurt if I touch them; I know that if I do not get out of the elevator quickly, the doors will close and I'll be trapped; I know that if I press that switch outside our door, the bell will ring; and I know that the vacuum cleaner is dirty because mommy would always clean my hands after I touched it.

But how does mommy and my family really help boost my immune system?

First and foremost, what can really toughen me up is the fact that mommy really feeds me well. She works hard to prepare nutritious home-cooked meals for me and I liked that this enables her to pick only the freshest ingredients, and prepare it in the cleanest environment possible - all in the comfort of her favourite kitchen. The lack of preservatives and only natural ingredients, coupled with yummy nutritious milk, help strengthen my antibodies in fighting viruses that would usually infect cute babies like me.

What a lot of people do not consider which I deem highly important apart from nutrition, is LOVE. I am fortunate to be loved by everyone around me. Mommy loves me dearly, daddy would do anything for me and abang has waited so long for my arrival. I am raised in a happy family and this feeling makes me feel good about myself. When I feel good, my immune system gets stronger. When there is so much love, the environment makes everything so positive and I can face the world, while I continue being curious as I know my family will try to make my experience pleasant and away from harm.

Next, adults are aware that exercise keep sickness at bay. For me, I need my play sessions. I love to play. Playing makes me happy, playing makes me discover new things and by playing, I get to hear myself talk and laugh, while making everyone else happy when they see how adorable I look from me talking gibberish language. The play sessions can hinder me from going after things that can harm me as I get to focus on beautiful colours and toys suitable for babies my age. Within this controlled environment, not only will I be able to learn new things quickly, my antibodies are also strengthened as I feel happy from the sense of achievements I get in the play sessions.

Next, is another point that is pretty broad and quite important for a growing baby like me. I need to be happy at all times. When I am happy, I make everyone else happy!

Mommy always ensure that I am happy in her care. The things that she does and the environment I am in, I must be one of the happiest babies on earth (even though I can be a pain sometimes hehe). Well, they did call me a pwincesh. Therefore, I am entitled to making things a little difficult for mommy and daddy so that I could see how much they love me. Happiness is such a powerful feeling because it makes everything feels good while my inner being becomes stronger.

Then, there is that proper rest. Being a curious baby is tiring work! I would want to walk here and there, climb up and down and learn up new tricks. I always need proper sleep so that my body is able to rest so that my mind is fresh to get curiosity working well again :) Mommy and daddy always ensured that I take my afternoon naps and during night time, my bed and room is made up so cozily to help me sleep longer and better. I also like that I have friends to keep me company while I sleep so that I feel safe and secure. When I wake up fresh, I feel good, my body feels good and my antibodies remain tough.

Once I am up and fresh, it is good to let me continue to explore. From there, I would learn from the adults what I can and cannot do. I will learn to refrain from touching dangerous stuff when I hear the word, "No", and have fun exploring other harmless experiences. I gain self-confidence, I am not afraid to face the outside world and I do not get awkward when introduced to new things. Exploring my curiosities can help expand my vision and keep me happy. And you all know that when I am happy, my body responds better to fighting illnesses. This is also why I am helping mommy to do up this blog entry... I know that the Nuffnang Friso Family day out at Kizsports 1Utama will allow me to explore more new things. So far, mommy has done a great job in nurturing positive traits in me but getting an invite to this event can help her learn more new tricks to keep me happy. And you all know my capabilities when I am happy :D

Just because I am a baby, that doesn't mean I don't need any mental stimulation. Mommy and daddy read to me, and teach me to read as well. Right now, I may only be interested to see those colourful pictures and illustrations in the children's books but I know I will read soon. Mommy and daddy would also place me in the shopping cartwheel while they continue to add items in the cart. From there, I get to see the items mommy use at home and familiarise myself with them. Who knows... I may even be calculating in my head the number of items! Mommy also let me play with the rubic's cube. Who knows... I can probably solve it in due time haha... All these keep me occupied while my curious apetite is further fulfilled. When I become smarter, my antibodies get smarter too. And I become a tougher baby when I am smarter.

Mommy also ensure I get my healthy dose on social interaction abilities. My curious mind need to include other babies as well, so that my learning experience become more complete. From here, I will learn basic communications skills and practise good habits so that friends will not run away from me. I also need friends who can help me to fight illnesses together, no? Can we combine antibodies? Oh, mommy said, "No". Well, I do not really know how antibodies really work but I do know that when I am with friends, I become active, I learn things better due to the encouragement I get from them, and this keeps me happy. And you all know how much stronger I get to be when I am happy :)

And while I satisfy my thirst to learn and try out new things, mommy never forget to teach me discipline. It is never too early to teach a baby like me, discipline... that includes putting me in my high chair during meals, strapping me in my very own car seat before we go anywhere and if I am extra naughty, I would walk over to the corner to reflect on what I did that made mommy upset. The discipline can help build character and prevent unnecessary incidents. I will know when I can explore my curiosities and when I should sit still while I enjoy the view from my eyes. Therefore, my body gets stronger and my immune system is ready to withstand illnesses.

Other than those listed above, there are so much more that can be done but as a baby, these are the only things that I can remember for now. If you extend an invitation to my family, to the Nuffnang Friso Family day out, I can even reveal other details on how mommy helps me increase my immunity. For now, I would like to satisfy my curiosity in a book abang is supposed to read to me. Bye bye!

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