i shall not stop writing.

Recently, I’ve been plagued with a downturn in my energy to post new entries. In fact, I’ve drafted several but yet to click the ‘PUBLISH POST’ button because I am hell bent on posting something sincere from the heart and they may be too much info from the heart.

After blogging for what, 4-5 years now… I think I may have reached that cycle of most bloggers. I mean, many of them bloggers whom I was associated closely then, no longer blog actively. And like them, I am also more into tweeting for a quick, simple and hassle-free update, which is almost like writing a blog post, only much shorter.

Currently, many people blog for money. I can’t say much about it because as much as I felt that I would be leaving personal blogging for good, my dwindling spirits were suddenly given a little motivation boost (if not much) after looking at the continuous increase in the amount I am getting from Nuffnang. Hence, this blog post.

I dunno… apart from the fact that the normal lifecycle of a blogger is the contributing factor for this 'downturn', many things happening and moi not getting any younger, tends to make one get very much involved in life’s turn of events. And let’s face it, I’m a passionate person. I never really realised that until the one pointed that out to me and I have come to terms with that fact, that I am passionate in whatever issues I get myself involved with… while some are very positive, those negative ones are what kept my brain working because naturally, everyone would want to improve their life experiences and I would definitely want to improve myself – to be better and to not easily fall for people with so much negative energy in them because they easily pull others down with them.

Let’s face it. This passionate woman only has the best interests to those dear to her. But not everyone knows how to appreciate a passionate person. Some would come to me probably only for affirmation and you can’t get that from me every time since this toughcookie will only tell you the truth about what she feels from it all and we all know that the truth may not be that easy to accept. But, one should hear the truth… the fact that every one else gives you that loud cheer and agrees to everything you say or do, does not necessarily make them a good friend. Same goes to when a person does something against your will, doesn’t necessarily make them an enemy because from my experience in life, one may not be on your side because they are acting on your best interest – many a times you may not even realise it because one will only believe what one wants to believe. When that happens, it’s not their loss but yours.

I like to look at many different angles about any issues. Some say I think a lot but the one could vouch that my thinking allows me to foretell statements that do not tally which most often lead to us trapping insincere people in their own web of lies. I don’t know whether this comes from just seeing things from all angle or coupled with strong female instincts… or maybe, I am just a natural “lie detector”.

And that [partly] contributed to the dwindling mood to update my personal blog because I think I’ve come to a stage where I only want to divulge my personal views, daily experiences, etc. only to those who matters to me – those really dear to me, who sincerely loves to keep abreast with what’s happening with me lately… not those who just want to read to further scrutinise what’s happening in my life, and then make calls to their friends/officemates/parents back home/[insert whatever as you please], to gossip and talk behind my back.

Yup, I do not want to give that benefit to those undeserving.

But though it’s a dilemma of sorts, I guess after seeing an increase in the amount I got from Nuffnang though I haven’t been consistently updating, I just have to brush insignificant people aside and focus on what I have long been working on.

Guess at times, even the most passionate and positive person could get a little side-tracked.