i haven't stopped writing although i may have kinda stopped touching personal issues in here. but i promise to keep updating in a more professional level HERE.
Posted by toughcookie | Tuesday, January 26, 2010
It is 4.35 am and I am still up, being used to this pattern that's been ongoing since about a month ago. And as much as I've said many times that most of the urgent stuff have pretty much dissipated, things are unfortunately (or fortunately) beyond my control. I am blessed to be so overwhelmed with work although I would prefer most to be within more manageable deadlines compared to those 24-48 hours rush jobs I had to do for some. Well, you can't have everything easy but then again, people should know that rush jobs may not get you quality results...
I tell you, it has been terribly crazy these past few weeks and I am so darn glad to have such an understanding husband... I can't emphasise that enough... it helped even more that the (not-so-little-anymore) munchkin can now iron his school uniform all on his own and I am lifted off that one part of the responsibilities in the morning.
In all these, I managed to slot in voluntary work for Mom Bloggers Planet first anniversary do (which I will update again later today, I hope!) and it was such an amazing event with amazing people I worked with, given the many factors that I will share in that post later. That Sunday, I was still up completing a final rush job til about 6.30am and had only about half hour of sleep while nursing little jj. It was so stressful getting everyone up and ready that morning until we actually forgot the baby bag. It helped so much that the one was so supportive of this particular project and he willingly went back home with little jj to get the baby bag while I busied myself with the necessary tasks I've committed with MBP at the Shah Alam Lake. Thus, my mind was totally clear and able to totally focus on the event.
Seriously, as I've shared with the one, as much as I welcome all these work for the extra bucks I am getting for myself, I don't think I am cut for all these adrenaline rush anymore. I am too old for all these (like, really). I have been putting on weight as I needed to eat to stay awake and my skin has really gone so bad due to the lack of sleep and SIX to EIGHT packets of pre-mix nescafe that I consumed everyday to keep me alert, since the past month. This is crazy and I know that I may have increased my chance of getting cancer due to the excessive intake of instant stuff within the short time frame, and probably even premature aging due to the adrenaline rush plus stress from the high amount of caffeine. I am not doing my body much justice and I do want to stop all these madness.
Today, I may be going through the first stages of withdrawal as I've reduced the caffeine intake but I am still unable to sleep and I hope I will go through this without much side effects. I hope.
I am extremely happy though that I have been appointed as Editor/Writer for some kiddy magazines. This would ensure a nice steady monthly income while I work from home. Hence, I can now probably say no to rush jobs and stick to my usual regular deadlines that are more manageable. This is a really positive development and I am grateful to those clients who had referred me to this particular publisher. Hope all goes well as I truly want to lead a 'normal' life.
With those rush jobs now out of the way, I foresee less stress even with the one going away for 3 days starting today. It's been awhile since he left the family for his work trips and I am glad that the timing couldn't have been more perfect. I would like to just sit in front of the TV (again) while feeding little jj her breakfast instead of me facing the computer while feeding her... or read to her properly during those quality breaks rather than just putting her books on my lap while pretending to read when my eyes are fixed on the screen while my fingers get busy typing... most importantly, I would like to start feeding her home-cooked meals again rather than rely on Mr Heinz and Mr Petite Gems.
I am so so tired. I am. But I am still smiling :)
Oh, and before I end this post, let me leave you with this video of little jj, 'singing' to Michael Jackson's Stranger In Moscow ;)