Push! Push! Selowwly...

Tomorrow will be our last ante-natal session... I'm kinda dreading it because I truly enjoy going to the classes especially when there are so many things you'd like to know and your doubts are somewhat answered. Kind of like an assurance for me.

There is no right or wrong to the methods of giving birth. Logic is the best explanation. But since every mom goes thru very different experience and their pain threshold varies according to what they think is painful, there's not much that can be done unless the mom herself is equipped with the mental strength. Still, Christine shared with us of how some mommies were adamant to get painkillers before giving birth whilst some of them being so vocal about giving birth naturally, the two groups can sometimes do the exact opposite when the time comes.

My memory was refreshed upon viewing a video of a woman in labour. The graphics were so vivid... so much so that it could even get very scary.

The rest of the mommies in the class are first-timers and I've always admired their excitement. I, on the other hand, as shared many times in my blog, am more afraid than excited. Yup, I am excited but I am very afraid. I know what it's gonna be like just before labour but especially after. And when we watched the video, everyone became so quiet and subdued. Hmmm...

I'm more afraid as I am already feeling the prickly pain in the perineum area. My doctor and Christine both said it's way too soon and I know that even before they can tell me that. The last time I felt that kind of pain was when the pregnancy was in its 8th month as the baby's head was already engaged (my first baby was a long 3.35kg baby). But I don't remember feeling this much pain where I couldn't even put my step forward at times.

The doctor has told me to lie down when I feel that but how can you lie down when you're at work or when you're walking around? I do feel better everytime after the weekends as I get to rest longer. I don't want to manjakan myself too much because exercise is good but even the one's aunt who's a nurse told me that in my case, exercise may not be the best option for now if I want to avoid premature labour.

I don't think it'd get that serious but I guess we'll never know. A good break from work would be the best option. Gosh... I hate feeling weak and dependent. I'm not those at all.

Nowadays, the tiredness gets to me really fast. Itu pun they say it's because I'm carrying a girl. Remembering how it was before, I was so active up to my labour but then again, I was 10 years younger then.

I keep reading the book I bought on giving birth naturally and from the chats I have with so many friends who've gone thru labour or who's wife has, I realised that a majority of them don't give a damn about it. Hmmm... prolly I should be doing the same... to not really bother because I would go thru it anyway, and I won't have much control over what'll happen. But then again as I recalled from my 1st labour, I did make a difference when I persistently told my ex to ensure that the gynae wait for the opening to avoid any episiotomy... and she did just that - wait. Unfortunately, a lot of unnecessary things were already forced on me and so I would like for this 2nd experience to be my choice, my say and to have it worked the way it should before any intervention can be forced upon me *fingers kept crossed*.

Back at home, life and love seem to be getting better and stronger. It's great how the one wants to manja me and how he puts up with my fake crankiness. Hehe... I like to tease him and get cranky as if I'm the baby, and I am so surprise that he puts up with me everytime. Macam tak penat. Then, yesterday, since I had some craving for KFC's coleslaw, he put his hands on my now more-enhanced butt while we were ordering, without realising that we're out in the public. Eeewww... so gross... in the public eye la... but in my eyes, that small gesture is just so adorable... he made me feel so sexy even with this weight attached in front of me...

Our next trip to the gynae is not until another week and we'd surely be talking about the options of labour for me. From the many 'recommendations' I got from friends who were under this doctor's care, they did say she's quite receptive to her patients' requests... so, we shall see, then.

In the mean time, I'll miss my ante-natal sessions... uhuk uhuk uhuk.

3 comments:

Nour said...

hey beskotkeras,

Glad to know that you are still blogging :)

When is the baby girl due??

Anis Zainal-Pacleb said...

hi babe! penat i kept on checking ur previous blog for updates....

hmm.. a true sagi, aren't u? i detest the feeling of being weak and the thought that u need to be dependent on someone, bring shivers down my spine...

on a lighter note, do take take extra care of yourself and a short break from work might do wonders, who knows kan?

honestly, this is the only time (in my case la) when hubby would tolerate my mengada-ngada yg kekadang tu a bit extreme... hihihiii...

TAKE CARE tau!!!!! ishh.... stubborn btul la you.... kisskiss the tummy for areya and me

toughcookie said...

hi nour,
hehe... ya... mana boleh stop. writing is so soothing to the soul...

she's due 28 July 2008. will update all insyaAllah, when the time comes.

til then, wish me luck, eh :D

anis dear,
sori eh it took so long for me to reply your mail. with the new email address i would be able to log in more often, i hope.

ahhh... it's so assuring knowing that another woman pun did the same thing, ie. mengada2 at their hubby hehe... tapi best kan when they manja you like that...

hey... you read my mind la woman! my next entry i wanted to write something about me being so stubborn!! hehe... wow... you're good.

you take care too ya. will definitely kiss the tummy for you and your little pwincesh ;D