But... one spoonful is enough to make my throat heat up and I will then dread of what comes next.
Today itself was pretty awful for me. The lunch I had gave me such serious heartburn that it kinda last til dinnertime. So much so that I couldn't even eat dinner.
Kept quiet and dozed off on the couch until about 10pm when I started getting hungry and prepared myself instant nasi bubur maggi - chicken and ginger. Ginger is good to let off wind but the initial stage left me with a feeling almost similar to heartburn that I felt so tensed... I mean what else can I eat which I really want to eat?? But, shortly after, the ginger worked itself that I felt so much better that it was actually the best choice, after all. Hmmm... the sound of my burping was an embarassing one, definitely, but hey, I am pregnant, okay...
Gosh... it's so not easy la being pregnant but that doesn't mean that you should keep on pressing that fact to your partner cos I'm sure there are so many women out there who are pregnant but yet in a much more unfortunate situation. So, sometimes, us being a little over-emotional due to the hormones and all, we can feel that we deserve a certain 'standard' to the way our partners should treat us but at times, when we are alone and able to think clearly, we might just realise that some of us are way luckier than most women.
So, if that's the case, do you keep demanding for that certain 'standard' as you don't compromise for anything less since you definitely deserve to be treated in a certain way or do you have to make excuses that you are still lucky than most when things don't go your way? Whatever it is, both partners would always need to give and take la kan, provided that both of you are considerate to each other's needs.
See... we had a minor argument a couple of days ago. It wasn't 'minor' to me at that point in time but after awhile, I realised that both partners should always take time out to think clearly and not say anything until the air clears up. It was nothing... just us discussing in the car on our way back from my mom's house regarding my confinement.
Well, I didn't have a good experience back then as I keep slipping and falling down at my mom's place due to the layout of the old house - most of the areas are segregated into split levels and although I should be familiar with the house, I wasn't that lucky in my confinement... up to the point where I blacked out after a fall. I've told this many times to the one and thought I should just spend the confinement this time at our apartment provided that the makcik who'll be taking care of me can come by herself (most makcik uruts need to be picked and sent home). So, when my SIL recommended this one makcik who lives quite nearby, I automatically assumed that the one could take a week's leave for him to pick her up and send her back.
I was disappointed, though, that he wasn't too excited about taking a week off. With the many developments at work, he doubted that he could take such a long leave. For me, I was mad since he didn't even want to try before saying a straight 'no'.
So, when we arrived home and I went straight up while he went away to get something in front of our condo, I realised that I shouldn't be mad. I mean... although it sounded as if he wasn't supportive but if I look at it from another angle, why should I expect him to take leave only to pick up and send the makcik and be of not much help the entire day. Pastu looking at my oily face and oily hair with kain batik, smelling of massage oil. Urrghhh... so not a nice sight after the much radiance from the entire 9 months. There's nothing much he could do so why waste a whole week of annual leave, right? It's pretty unfair since I'd automatically get the 2-month confinement leave and there's so many more days to be considered, ie. baby's first jap, my next check-up, any emergencies just in case and then Raya will just be right after.
In the end, the argument was unnecessary. Takpe la... he'll be able to help in other ways anyway. When he got home, he felt guilty already but I was already cool by then and understood him more.
It's so hard to keep a clear mind when you've been bogged down by work and problems at the office and expecting things to be fine and dandy back home. That's unrealistic. It's hard when your head keeps playing out the 'you deserve it' vs. 'it's okay... you're a lucky woman'. I admit that I'm a different kind of woman and it is not very easy to handle moi and I just have to drill myself that I am not the only woman in the world who's pregnant.
Tapi, for the men pun, try not to be ignorant if the wifey is extra understanding. Friends play an important role as well since hubbies usually need the 'extra' time out with buddies at times. Kalau nak mintak tolong tu, just think la and consider, ie. how late at night or whether it takes 4 or 8 hours during the weekend especially if the wife's in this emotional state where some might not even have a good grip of their emotions in their pregnancy. Friends will always be more than willing to give in to requests for help but one must at least consider the situation.
But I guess, in the end, it's how good both partners understand each other. With understanding and respect, there's no need to doubt any plans and actions. It goes both ways.
Just like the last ante-natal class we had this week, Christine kind of give me a knock in the head when she said that a delivery is just as stressful to the man. Old school would think, "Whaat??? Who's in real pain anyway?" but the truth is, both will feel some kind of pain, not necessarily in the same context as what each will go thru.