i shall not stop writing.

The thing about pregnancy that I dread most has come to haunt me… starting this morning – leg cramps. Oh god…

I had always feared getting leg cramps this time around as I strongly recall how excruciating it was in the last pregnancy. It was bad. Horrendous, I must say. I guess I’ve realised that I was probably low in calcium (which I admit without hesitation) and the fact that I wanted to avoid water retention in my legs, made me put my legs straight up when I slept which in turn resulted in poor blood circulation resulting in leg cramps - a nightmare for me each night even at the early stages.

This time, I was happy since I’m already way past 6 months and no signs of leg cramps… that is, until this morning. And it was only in 1 leg… and the pain is much milder. But since I had already fixed the idea in my mind of how painful it is, no amount of ante-natal classes could make me recall any of the steps to massage the leg cramps away.

Now, I am dreading the next nights of the next 3 months until I am due.

Other than that, things have been pretty fine and dandy. The last visit to the gynae was something else. The doctor told me to eat less since I’m putting on more weight than I usually would. Geesh. I asked the one why he didn’t rebut her cos I strongly remember our first visit when she told him to allow me all I feel like eating and not force me to eat things I don’t like to eat. So… isn’t he making me happy by taking her advise?? Heh.

But ya la… I know I have to cut down a bit on my portions during meal times hehe. Hey… I’m just providing the comfort for my baby as she’ll have enough ‘cushions’ to bump into when I move.

So, I now eat less (er) hehe… and always feeling hungry. Uhuk uhuk uhuk…

Everything is Alhamdulillah, fine. My blood pressure is at a healthy level and the position of the foetus seems to be good. Am hoping that it’ll maintain at a healthy and safe level.

We spoke about our concerns and things we’ve learnt at the ante-natal class. Hmmm… I guess, it’s safe to say that in Malaysia, couples don’t have to waste time and money for independent ante-natal classes because the doctors and the hospitals they practice in, have their own set of beliefs and no amount of knowledge you get from the outside will make them flinch.

Suffice to say, we’ve wasted quite a bit since the doctor is not open to the suggestion and consideration. See, even if you browse the websites and books on pregnancy, one of the things they’d advise you would be to put down in writing things you’d want and things you don’t want to happen during delivery, with a disclaimer that reads in case of emergency, all of the points can be compromised, up to the discretion of the medical practitioner involved. But, as we learnt in our last visit, all those things are not really acceptable in even the best/most modern private facility.

See, part of what we thought we could do was to let’s say…. Bring extra pillows or have an aromatherapy candle or a small stereo for soothing music while being tense or changing positions when mommy’s not comfortable or being able to walk rather than be strapped permanently with the baby monitor instead of at strategic intervals or for the dads to be able to be an active participant, and the list goes on.

Turns out – nope. Bring yourself, bring several pairs of comfy night gowns and undies, and that’s it. The belief system is set in that all mothers will give birth lying down as that is the most comfy position when it was so clear to us in the video that we saw of how this woman who seem to be able to bear the pain until she was asked to lie down for them to check the opening of her cervix. Logically, the pain is worse in that position as we defy the laws of gravity.

The only consolation I have from the discussion was that the doctor did not believe in episiotomy unless very necessary. So there. My positive experience will be dealt with in the most conservative way and I’d just have to let it be as they know best.

I know that what we want at the end of the day is for the baby to be delivered safe and sound. But there are many ways for us to reach that same result and I would want to have the choice because it is my body, and my experience. I don’t care if a million others were strapped in bed because this is me, and I’d like to at least be assured that yes, my needs will be cared for.

Hmmm… easier said than done, I guess. So, we’ll just see then. At least I have the comfort from friends who've been under this doctor when they say that she is just as patient and will work with the mommy and daddy the best she could, rather than impose on procedures that are truly unnecessary.

The doctor then told me there’s nothing for me to worry about since it’s my second and it should be a much easier labour. Oh kay.

Yes, I am stubborn.

On another note, I managed to convert the one into a Nokia user. Yeay!

I’ve handed over to him my precious E90 since he loves that phone so much. Oh well, he subsidised that phone in the first place or I wouldn’t even dream of buying a phone at a price more than RM3k.

But, I asked him many times if he was sure he’d want to trade in his beloved 3.2mp sony ericsson phone for a replacement phone for me, a 2mp Nokia. I guess he didn’t mind it one bit as the E90 is not only 3.2mp but also has all the features that his phone didn’t – including GPS, a keyboard, wide screen when opened, that surround speaker sound and bla and bla and bla. Therefore, he kinda took it as a good bargain.

I, on the other hand, managed to get my hands on the Classic Nokia 6120. It is so slim and beautiful. Comes in 2 hues – black and pink. Of course, carrying this girl in me, I seem to want everything in pink.