Life isn't a bed of roses.. but it could be.

I met up with my bestest gal-pal, gorgeous Nicole, this afternoon as it has been about over a month since we saw each other. I guess between myself and my dearest girlfriends, meeting up before I pop is one crucial goal :D, probably since for one, they'd like to see how big I have gotten so that they can feel better about their bodies (ahahh...) but more so because they know it'd be a bit difficult for me to go out and have guiltless fun once little jj comes out.

Anyway, for the first time after 8 months, she brought Isabel out. I am so with her on that... when my first was born, I was hesitant to bring him out when he was very little. I guess I'd have that protective 'thing' in me to avoid any exposure to big crowds and alien open areas to prevent him from catching any unnecessary virus. Plus, I always think that a baby will get easily cranky when they get home after an outing which will in turn take its toll on the mommy or daddy to calm a baby down. I mean, you're already tired yourself and you're expected to be very patient to get your baby to sleep and relax.

I so wanted to take a photo with Isabel but since she kept giving that cutey-frowny-i-am-going-to-scream look when she even looks at me, I decided I shouldn't stress the mommy out. Elaine... this pix is also for you... Isabel's wearing the dress from you.

Since Isabel hasn't seen me for about 3-4 months, she screamed immediately when she saw me hehe.... they say there's some clash in 'air' when you're also carrying a baby girl in you but then again, she cried at everyone she saw except children.

And oh... BSC was practically swarming with kids! There were children everywhere! I've never really observed such a scene... seriously. There were mommies and baby strollers and kids running around and shouting... you can't walk two steps and not see children or pregnant mommies... hehe... moi included, I guess.

I was making fun of Nicole that before she had Isabel, she would probably also scream or jeer at the children or their mommies. But now, she's part of the pack hehe... how ironic, eh? And I admire her for her patience ohmygawd... she has her technique with Isabel to stop her from crying. Well, I did ask her if Isabel was teething because she was so cranky and wouldn't allow to be placed on her stroller. Hmmm... I guess I still have my mommy instincts as I was right... she was teething. Gosh... I wonder how I'd handle all those moments again... the night cries, the unexpected crankiness, the drama of attention seeking aka crocodile tears, the teething, and bla bla bla. Oh well. I guess we all have to face that somehow.

We walked around after we had lunch and my attention was glued once in awhile on other gorgeous pregnant mommies who either had good skin, beautiful features, smaller tummies and especially those who were actually wearing high heels while walking oh so comfortably. Hmmm... I wonder if they were wearing the Manolos that is similar to those specially designed for Sarah Jessica Parker when she was pregnant. Apparently, those killer heels are just as comfy to be worn in your pregnancy.

Anyways, I think I had a great weekend starting from that fine date I had with the one on Friday night. Although I was a little tense when I didn't get my usual dose of Mochachino on Saturday at the Raffali's, I managed to put together my famous nescafe shake when we got home last night. This afternoon, after a great time with the most wonderful gal-pal, it feels so good to wanna head straight home to the one you love.

While touching my smart tag at the exit, I thought how lucky I am. And I couldn't repeat that enough.

I feel so free.

You don't need to be a free soul when you're single. I mean, I was happy and free when I was single. In fact, I think I used the word, contented, back then. But then again, I knew that no matter how happy I am, my heart was still searching.

Now, I feel that my heart and soul is free. I love this life I’m living… there’s this bond and trust that we have in each other, that there’s no need for unnecessary worries or stress. I know that no woman should fully trust their man. I would question some of his gestures since he’s so well known for being so naïve and straight and we all know how some women just loves going after another woman's man. And no matter how any man would claim that they’re a one-woman-man, you would never really know for sure. After all, we’re just normal human and just one side step could change one’s life forever.

But I’m talking about something beyond that… the trust that you know you’re always on his mind… that he allows you to make your own decisions knowing that you always will consider him and the family before you do anything… that he lets you meet up with your girlfriends knowing that that is what you will be doing… that you let him meet up with his buddies because you know that that is exactly what he’d do… that when he calls you up to know what you’re up to, he is not checking up on you as he's being possessive but more so because he misses you so much…

The best part would be that you get excited when he calls because you’d end the conversation with ‘I love you’ not because it’s a routine, but because you both mean it and because you’d want each other to know that because life is short.

Those closest to me could see how well he’s treating me. I mean, they know how difficult it has been for me in my previous failed relationships and none of those men I met could even come close to the qualities that he has. I’m always thankful that I found him and although I did have doubts on how he’d be able to handle the much more mature and independent me, those doubts seem baseless now. I guess it could be the maturity and this pregnancy that makes him much more tolerant of me. But then again, it’s the fact that he loves all my quirks and takes me for me. And that is so important in a relationship.

Yes, you can go around and see/compare how better looking or seemingly better personality another man/woman has but I could always have the comfort to know in my heart that those are just probably 2% of what's more important.

It’s a blessing that both of us went thru such a horrible experience before we met each other for us to fully appreciate what we both now experience together and although life is not perfect, and neither are both of us, we know this is the best that we could keep our hands on and of how fate has its ways around us. We could want to have everything in life but we could also make the best of what we already have and make it even better.

Sometimes when things don't really go the way you wanted, some would say life sucks or life is so unfair. To me, life is just wonderful. Life is great. It's those people who exists in life that shapes life. You could take the empty piece of paper and just throw it in the bin or you could sketch the busy polluted stretch of street in front of you and make it into a nice piece of artwork.

I kept smiling thinking about this while driving back home. The drive seemed to be one breezy journey. As soon as I opened the front door, there was him… sitting on the couch with his fingers busy on his pink PSP while he pauses intermittently whenever I started sharing the things that happened at BSC in my usual passionate ways.

Once again, I am grateful.


Anis Zainal-Pacleb said...

how come i never bumped into you yesterday? aiyaa!!! i was at bsc too in the afternoon (at cold storage to be exact)...

babe, it's a blessing that both of you found each other (the right person at the right time kan?) and it's very rare for married couples to have such an understanding, love & respect in their relationship but it seems both of you do enjoy these privileges and I pun tumpang happy for you and acat....

da tough beskot said...

hi anis...
omg... you were there as well??

i didn't pass by cold storage pun as i took the elevator next to coffee bean. then had lunch nearby and walked around upstairs at mothercare and guardian.

ahhh... what a pity. we could've meet up and chit chat, eh.