Merdeka to me

The one is out treasure hunting again. He left really early in the morning and I'm home alone with the kids. Hmmm... does that make me home alone?

I think this must be his first hunt ever since little jj was born. I think he didn't really consider much about entering the hunt but I felt that it's not that fair to keep him couped up at home when he's been so helpful with the house chores. I know how much he loves treasure hunting. Plus, he has always won the top 3 spot in this merdeka hunt in Maju Junction and who knows this time around...

Thinking about this hunt made me realised that wow... merdeka is coming near.

I think merdeka day has always been close to our (the one and I) hearts since our first date was on the eve of merdeka. It wasn't even a planned date and I turned him down so many times since I was working on an event far away from KL that day and didn't want to enter KL for dinner since I'd expect bad traffic. Well, as they say, persistence pays and how could I keep saying no to a man I fell in love with who didn't even know I was in love with him before he even met me ;P

The next day, he kept texting me while participating in the Maju Junction merdeka hunt. Hehe... but today, no text messages at all :( hehe...

This merdeka marks our 3 years 'anniversary'. Gosh... I could keep playing those sweet memories in my head and it'll still give me that warm fuzzy feeling of that fateful beautiful night at Monte's BSC. How far we've gone from back then. And all from the wonders of blogging.

I guess at that moment, the word, 'merdeka' gives a significant meaning to us from our own definition. Independence. Freedom. Yup, we felt absolutely free that night, and from then on. It's not a matter of your hearts tying you down... it's the way our hearts flew freely on that meaningful night.

I've observed the many definitions of merdeka. Well, right on, our country is merdeka but from what's been happening now especially with the economy and the political instability, I don't think we are merdeka at all. Merdeka only from the independence we gain from the Brits but our mindset in the political arena is no where near merdeka. They can say all they want but in the end, the rakyat suffers and have to put up with idiocies and political circus that hurt us all one way or another. Even that stupid blogger who's asking us all to wave our flag upside down does not have a brain that's merdeka. Very immature and lacks intelligence. I mean, yes, I get upset with Pak Lah too but what's that got to do with our Malaysian flag. Hey... I am proud to be Malaysian but I detest the people who's governing the country. That reckless action gives such bad perception amongst the foreigners and that is such an embarrassment. If I were Pak Lah, I'd throw him out of the country for such disrespect.

When talking about the political arena, I guess the discussion will never end. Well, as they say, if you want to make a difference, it should start with yourself.

Back to the definition of merdeka (and I am not implying the country's independence day)... there's this petrol station that I frequent to in my neighbourhood. I noticed this pump attendant since merdeka last year. When I saw him, my heart goes all out for him, not out of pity but out of pure admiration.

See, he is physically challenged. I believe only one hand is functional and he walks with a big limp. He was wearing this T-shirt from the petrol company's merdeka campaign and he was happily helping customers fill in petrol in their vehicle.

I was queueing up behind a car he was filling and I've observed him interacting with customers... some would just give him a smile, afraid to look him in the eye... some would talk to him and laugh at his jokes... most, unfortunately, wouldn't even acknowledge his existence.

I guess it is a natural reaction amongst us humans to avoid facing the physically challenged to prevent from making them look small or feel embarassed. But I guess many a times, it is us, the supposedly 'normal' being who are the embarassed party.

I found him truly enlightening as he spoke. Well, he slurred and his speech almost difficult to comprehend. Nevertheless, he talked with a smile and he was pretty aware of his surrounding. He was chatty and almost worry-free. He kinda touched my heart at that time as I saw what merdeka might have meant to him... yes, handicap and all but I guess his soul was probably free... more free than most of us could admit. Best of all, I didn't see any show of inferiority complex in him when he talked to the customers.

With that nature, he comes to my mind at every merdeka day. Cos I believe, he was merdeka in his own way. And that is so important.

All of us are always in search of that merdeka in us, whether we realise it or not. We soul-search in order to find out what or who we really are, what we really want in life and what we have to do in order to obtain our goals in life. Most of the time, our hearts and soul are not free... we are always in search of something to fulfill our life... we go all out to the extremes to fulfill our hearts desire... but most of the time, we are still not satisfied.

We keep looking for that special something. Even when that special something appears, we get greedy in search for something better. Sometimes, we get it, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we have it in our hands but most of the time it slips off as easily as water flowing from a grasp.

I think as far as we feel merdeka in us, whatever comes our way or whatever we go thru in life, feels just a cinch as we take them with a pinch of salt. Nothing else would feel so fulfilling as we go deep into contentment. Contentment is good while we keep ourselves aware of our surroundings...

As for me, I still feel merdeka especially with the recent happenings in my life. Nothing's more fulfilling than to have such a cute bundle of joy and a very supportive other half. The little munchkin is growing to be a more responsible older brother and doing better in school despite the challenges he goes thru. Our family never felt more perfect.

Even with a little baby tying you down, making you lack of sleep, having to tend to her every needs with you coming last not even 2nd, that merdeka spirit you have in yourself is so meaningful as you walk thru life with ease no matter what bogs you down.

I still feel that same feeling that night at the corner table at Monte's. Even better.

That's my definition of merdeka.

2 comments:

Inn said...

well said. an insighful entry (not to mention - mushy) heh.


Unfearful of challenge as you feels beneath no one. Humble and feels superior to no one. To be firmly rooted in consciousness.

here's to merdeka. and the experience of merdeka in our own personal way :)


hugs, inn

Heart of a Hunter said...

Me blogger, yup but still new to blogging :)

Sometimes too lazy to update my blog. Now i'm busy creating blog for my band. If you have time come and check out my band's blog at www.btruband.blogspot.com ya!!! hehehe....

So how's the little JJ? I like her name, very classy :P

Happy Merdeka and Selamat Berpuasa, muahs!