"Would it be too ambitious to aim that I would fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes by my 25th *ahem* birthday this December? Can I?"
i haven't stopped writing although i may have kinda stopped touching personal issues in here. but i promise to keep updating in a more professional level HERE.
Posted by toughcookie | Monday, May 17, 2010
Oh, I am telling you, it feels great to be able to do something good for yourself... and that doesn't involve a big hole in your pocket. Well, a small teensy weensy damage but nothing worrying ;)
See, I've been wanting to go back swimming for the longest time. The last time I swam was when little jj was about 8 months in my tummy. I was heavy but I floated gracefully ;P
I've always believed in the power of swimming. It must be my best strength training yet because firstly, I never could commit going to the gym regularly. The most was 2 months straight and after that, I kept paying the monthly fees without even showing my face at the gym. Secondly, I just hate the stress of looking for parking and now that there are much more commitments at home, I don't think I have the time. Thirdly, you practically do not sweat from swimming and you can even run in the pool where the heavy load of water makes it a perfect resistance to your movements, making you use most part of your muscles. And when you're tired, you could just lie on your back and float in the pool, with the calming sound of water around you. It's so relaxing.
The best part about staying in a condo is the ability to use the swimming pool. I have always loved the water... since young I always had an ambition to be like our then national swimmer, Nurul Huda Abdullah, who kept winning golds in SEA Games and all. I swam so much that my shoulders became much broader than normal girls my height. But, that ambition became just a dream as I wasn't as fast as most people in swimming. But swimming has always been a part of my life and I just cannot look at a swimming pool without the urge of jumping into it ;P
I haven't been swimming since the baby was born partly because I had difficulties to handle the demands of a breastfeeding baby and loads of work day and night. Partly too because I had body issues... I was still on the chubby side and didn't feel all that comfortable with the way I looked. Of course, these things come in a phase and I managed to get out of it after about a year as little jj drank less from me and my appetite started to be more manageable as I become less hungry. Still, I have always dreamt of getting back into shape and there are no better shortcuts (and cheaper too!) than to swim. I figured out, even with work to be done at night, I could slot in swimming for at least an hour every alternate days so that I have more energy after the exercise and that no one will see my bulges/stretch marks at night. Haha but as usual, there are those excuses after excuses especially since the pool at our condo is ice cold at night.
But but but... seeing another friend my age all geared up to lead a healthier lifestyle (and to obtain a leaner body), I suddenly felt so motivated to actually get off my butt instead of complain and feel bad about myself. I mean, you can't keep on blaming the entire world on your issues and there are things that you need to take control because they are all under your control, really.
Yesterday, I put on my old swimming gear that I haven't worn in years and it was so difficult to get in and out of it. But I persevered. I needed to swim.
I got out of the apartment, went downstairs and headed to the pool when I realised it was pouring. Heavy rain, in fact. Damn... it was already so difficult to fight with the inner voice inside my head as it kept telling me to rest at home... that I had so much work to do... and that I could just swim the next day but I fought hard with it... and was totally frustrated at the outcome. It was too dangerous to swim and I did not want to get sick. I guess that is a legal excuse, isn't it?
So worried that it would put off this spirit in me, I kept thinking about Dilla who's on her way to a better self and off I went to get a new bathing suit which I got for only RM58 after a 50% discount. I thought that was a real good sign for me and there I was, happily swimming away after I had cooked dinner for my angels and fed little jj her dinner.
At first I only did half a lap... and then 1 lap non-stop at the swimming pool that's probably half the size of an olympic pool. I then did 2 laps non-stop, enjoyed the peace and serenity and then surprised myself with a possible 7 laps non-stop for 20 minutes (I lost count on how many laps I actually did). I did a relaxingly slow front crawl all the way so that I didn't use too much of my energy and I forced myself to stop so that I didn't over exert myself as I had plenty of things to do tomorrow... can't afford any cramps in my muscles.
After I was done, I went back upstairs and made sure to take some photos of those flabs to see how far I'd go from tonight.
We shall see...
I guess it all takes some little courage to just get up and go do what you've always known you had to do. Once you have gone past that hurdle, it would give you enough strength to keep going, InsyaAllah...
Thanks, Dilla... you don't know what a big influence you had on me.