Why people do what they do.

I've seen another child going in little jj's play class accompanied by a maid.

I dunno... seriously, what's the main objective for a parent to register their little babies to an early development class? For them to be independent? For them to acquire new skills? To stimulate their minds? All of the above?

But if a parent cannot put aside one hour quality time on a weekend that they've committed for the benefit of their own child, then I don't quite see the necessity of it since the child would just sit with the maid the way she's always comfortable with at home (possibly)... and the maid doesn't say a single thing because she either doesn't understand what's the reason for doing certain activities or because she's required to just keep silent since her voice is not counted for anyways.

Anyone would want a child, I guess. And it sounds better when telling people that their child is sent to an early development learning center. But you can't have it all, want it all yet not willing to sacrifice that small window. In the end, the result is similar to when the child first started the class... sit, stare and stay comfortable because the child simply refuse to participate and the maid is not able to do anything.

I guess we all want everything in life but at what expense? One simply need to prioritise. After all, having a child is never easy. No one ever said it was easy. You've been away most part of the week... what's an hour or two during the weekend class where the child could absorb skills and stimulation the most when you're around. If that's so difficult and your needs and popularity come first, then the end result lies in your hands.

13 comments:

sitisabri said...

Some parents keep their children busy with this so called learning and classes when in fact, they just want more time for themselves. How selfish and convenient. I think they just see their children as one of their accessories or maybe an accomplishment in life. How sad. Just my thought.

-mrsdjones

Em's Family said...

agree with you, they signed up their child i think for the seek that every child should deserve the best from their parents but unfortunately the parents ignored the words bonding. i have this one little girl age around 4-5 years old whom i always met at playground area. everytime, i would only saw the maid. got to know from the maid that this girl came from a broken family and the maid told that the father is such a loving dad but not the mum. The mum just ignored the daughteer and 100% trust the maid to handle the daughter.. and unlucky for that girl the custody goes to the mother. the kid is lucky since the maid do love her, but i would always think what would happen when the maid goes. pity that girl.

Konot said...

i've been told that i pamper my maid sbb everytime i go out i never bring her along. it will be just me, hubby and the kids.

ntah la but i feel that as much as possible i would wanna jaga my kids sendiri. dah la work 9-5 tinggal anak.. takkan weekend pun nak tinggal lagi..

maid is just a helper.. bukan secondary mother.

emly2175 said...

this is a common scene that we are seeing thesedays at any playschool or playgym. And i pity those unfortunate children !! how my heart feel for them..

Their parents think that money and maid can compensate for them-not-being-there for their children.

Which is why these parents shouldn't be complaining later in the future should they be abandoned by thier children. Let alone being put at rumah orang tua..

Ms B said...

Unfortunately it is an increasing trend back home. More parents are leaving the physical duty of taking care of the kids to the caretakers (i.e. maid/parents/etc) while they pursue material agenda.

Once I heard that a mother went back to her old workplace with crazy hours (15 hrs a day plus wkends) bcos she couldnt cope earning less ie not getting > 1 year bonus.

.miz j for jelly D. said...

i've seen this kinda situation...in my circle. all i can do is just sigh in silent. i hope if i have maid on day, i wudn't do that. i agree with konot, maid is just a helper and not secondary mother or wife.

Mommy at Home said...

I used to go with my daughter to her Kind3rmusik class when she was about 6 months old. It was a weekend class with about 8 other kids. Except for me, all the other kids were accompanied by their maids. So when the time came for sing-a-long, I was the only other adult singing besides the teacher! And I don't sing in public, but for my daughter kan?

The sad thing was that after class, I would see these mommies picking up their kids and maids from the class armed with shopping bags (the class was in Ik*no) and it was the same thing every week.

A few months later I decided to stop sending her there.I didn't see the point of going to class where other kids didn't participate because their minders didn't know what to do due to their lack of understanding. I would've forgiven them had the ones accompanied the kids were their grandparents; but maids? Hmm...

.small shoes. said...

gotta agree with you.

i think those parents think that they r smart expecting that prob the maid cud learn sumthing and practic it at home with the kid..

But hey!! if u, ur own parent dont bother.. why wud the maid care right? unless those parents are kinda lucky to get maids that really really really care.


just selfish plain ppl.

toughcookie said...

dear mrsdjones,
i agree with your views. it's so funny how so many people keep wanting babies just as though its a key achievement without fully understanding the sacrifices needed.

hi amira,
your thoughts actually made me think of another view. i guess for some parents, they want to give the best to their kids but that they are not willing to give up their personal freedom. frankly, i need my personal space every once in awhile... but this is just one hour of a weekend... and one that promotes learning and bonding. *haihhh* ini semua nasib...

toughcookie said...

hi konot,
agree :)

emly,
masa tu nak regret pun tak guna, right...

toughcookie said...

hi Ms B,
hmmm... sadnye... sounds like the true hollywood story on Martha Stewart hehe... why do they have babies in the first place... to make them feel complete as a woman?

cik jelly,
banyak benar nama you go under, eh? hehe... haaaa... kalau secondary mother, itu la jadi laki jatuh cinta ngan maid pulak. naya ;P

toughcookie said...

mommy at home,
omg... like, seriously?? that is so so sad! i mean, kalau shopping tapi leave anak to play freely macam kat the kids' area in Ikea tu, ok lagi kan because it's like a secure playground for them. wow... amazing stories i'm getting here.

hi .small shoes.,
entahlah babe... i rasa macam once you dah ready to have a baby, surely you can't expect things to be the same as they were before kan... kat rumah dah ada maid... takkan nak main pun kena dengan maid. at last, bonding is with the maid. isn't that a scary thought?

Myself said...

I'm a Malaysian working mother, living in Indonesia. Here the maids come pretty handy and all the babies are running around with the maid. I guess, some parents (I have to admit me too) prefers their children to be in the day care rather than at home alone with the nanny to 1) reduce the hours the kid spends with nanny, 2)stimulate the kid playing with other children and 3)hopefully the day care can help the kid to develop some skills.

There are many abusive nanny these days and you cant be too sure. Also, I agree that of course we still have to spend our quality time with our kid too. We spend our routine daily with her (either me or papa) to read her nighttime story books and put her to bed.