I've created a monster!!

One morning after waking up from sleep, I was telling the one how this one song has been playing on and on in my head... it was Jordin Sparks 'No Air' duet with Chris Brown. He asked me how the song went and I don't quite remember the lyrics except for the catchy 'No air, no air' tune and told him what the song was all about. He asked me, "What? That's how the song goes??"... he apparently thought the 'No air no air' part wasn't catchy at all or that the part where the girl couldn't live/breathe without the partner was crappy lyrics.

From then on, when we're in the car, instead of tuning in to my favourite radio station which usually plays songs of the 80's and 90's to Hitz.fm or Fly.fm just so we could catch the song on air. Unfortunately, my efforts were in vain since the drive from home to the lrt is only about 10 minutes. Still, he couldn't understand what the fuss is all about...

When we went for our treasure hunt, his best friend, Muz sang that catchy tune and I quickly pointed out that see... even Muz knows the line! He asked the same question - is that how the song goes??

I guess when his brother came over last weekend and sang the same line in the car, he probably thought it was time for him to find out how the song went. So, over the weekend, he actually googled it and managed to view the video clip on his E90. Omg... the song sounds just so good.

Since then, he played it before he goes to work, while taking a shower after coming home from work, and whenever. Hehe... yes, I created a monster.

And now he's created the tune as the ringing tone whenever I'd call him. I told you it's catchy!

Anyways, I've been busy for awhile. And with the impending arrival of little jj and a possibility of working from home, we've both restructured our financials and without regrets, I've traded-in Molly for a much cheaper MPV which I've named her, Kimora. Hehe. What a name. As I am not that of a sentimental type of person, letting go was easy and in comes a 'soccer-mom' ride which is very spacious and one that I can live with for a long time. I'm just not sure how long I'd be able to keep this plan but I have announced to my contacts that I am back to freelance copywriting and translation, with another different project still on tow. I believe that our monthly finances is workable with less stress on my part and I am very excited at the possibility of looking after little jj. The plan is still not final but we shall see. Whatever it is, the priority is my family and with the much frustration I have with the government, the high tax that I've been paying with not much benefit seen from it, I believe I'd like to make a difference with myself and the family instead of working my ass off making others look good while they treat you however they wish.

There's just so much I want to say with our current quality of life especially after such a sudden announcement on the hike in fuel prices which they initially said would take effect August this year. But like many would say, if you're not happy with the current administration, go migrate somewhere else. True.

I'm just so disappointed that me and so many of us have been paying so much on taxes that goes to not only their fat pay-checks but also allowances and yet we are all forking so much for their benefit only to see their focus stray on projects that do not benefit the rakyat directly. Why don't they forgo their allowance and pay for fuel from their own pay because serving the rakyat is one of their responsibilities. Of course, their defensive stance will always be - this is the lowest cost compared to other countries in Asia. Seriously, I am disappointed. Why don't they re-look at all the 'corridors' project and instead of having them all at one go, to have them one-by-one. I mean, those projects didn't even win majority votes for them in the last election. Is that what the rakyat need right now?

I can go on and on about this but it may get me into trouble. Suffice to say, I am trying to make a change in my life for the benefit of my own family and I truly hope that it'll go my way, if not immediate, soon.

I am just so glad that I have such a supportive partner who's behind me all the way and trusts my judgement... he's also not afraid to warn me of what to expect and what I'd be heading. Well, being independent for so long and making life-altering decisions are those that I've been used to... I probably have to sacrifice a few things but life is all about sacrifices anyway... you get some, you lose some. As long as I don't have to be a hypocrite, I am happy. But yeah... I am also happy because I have him. There's no one else I could think of who'd come close to the one... he's everything I wanted... he's everything I need.

Oh, on another note, a close gal-pal of mine whom I have not seen in awhile came over to see me this evening. We were updating each other of what's happening in our lives when she then told me of this 'friend' I used to know who's in a middle of a divorce or had been divorced. I was stunned cos I thought both him and his wife deserved each other, both being hypocrites and blood-sucking beings. I know it's bad to have satisfaction over something tragic happening to someone but I can't help it. I remembered how I thought both of them were priceless friends and how I had pooled together so many friends so that we could buy them a very expensive wedding gift until they stabbed me so deep in the back and clearly showed me what they were worthy of. I thought I was so good at reading people and that these kind of beings only pass my way in their early 20's but I was so wrong... I guess immature and shallow-natured creatures exist no matter how old they are.

With this outcome, I can't say I am totally glad because that sounds bad. But I am no hypocrite and so I don't care how that sounds. What he did to me may not be so bad as to what he's going thru now but I know that I wasn't the only friend he betrayed. This proves how much what goes around comes around.


*****
updated 20 minutes later: yes, my husband is a crazy monster hehe... he just called me thru google talk when he could just come over from the living room to our 'office' where I am working...

no air no air....

12 comments:

Omecool20 said...

Hey cookie. Thanks for having us over. We were very2 impressed with the colors. My sentiments lie similar with yours ... in a way, we are being a bit selfish, but in the end, we have to mainly take care of ourselves if the big cats don't do their part.

Yep, go ahead and pursue your other endeavors. Dont worry much as the rezeki is everywhere .. in fact, when u love what you do, unexpected rezeki appears :-) n it helps to have an Acat by your side :)

It's a pity abt yr ex-friends, but as a phrase goes something like, revenge is a dish best served cold.

Anis Zainal-Pacleb said...

owh babe! i share your sentiments on the current government which is led by the sleepy head (wah! it kinda rhyme kan?)...anyway, me too cant afford to bitch about this issue as I can go on and on about it....

so, when is the edd? read from acat's that u hv been doing some sewing...wow! ain't it great? sewing is one skill i wish i'd posess...

yup! i totally agree with omecool20, rezeki ada di manamana...insyaallah, as long as we're ikhlas in things we do or plan to do, Allah swt will grant us the rezeki.... trust your judgement babe! taking care of areya is the best career move i'd ever made and i never regret it one bit... i'll pray for you yeah!
yippeee! welcome to the club!

on that 'friends' of yours kan, i am always amazed la how people whom we called friends have the heart to back stab their own friend..been there too babe....and now that person cease to exist in my life.... could not be bothered and dun wanna know whats happening in her life....

Ydiana said...

Hiya Toughcookie

I just hopped over from Amy's blog as I saw your comment.
1. I've never heard of the song you mention and will check it out soon. Maybe I've heard it but didn't notice it yet. If I get hooked to it, thanks to you..hahaha.

2. Yes, the cost of living now is unbelievable. I decided to stay at home more from now onwards and save some petrol money, starbucks coffee and impulse shopping.

3. The government sucks. I wish to kick the 'sleepy heads' a.. out of the kitchen cabinet.

4. Re your friends, who am I to say, but if you can, just forgive them, and forget them.

Cheers!

Ydiana said...

Yeah, heard it on air before. Just posted a youtube on my blog.

Take care with your pregnancy!

toughcookie said...

hi ome,
it was a pleasure having you guys over. thanks for making such an effort. kitorang bila dah kawin ni, sometimes tend to live in our own world and it's nice to catch up with friends once in awhile.

anis dear,
tahlah darling... mana nak hidup kalau just one bread-winner in the family kan. i've always loved sewing and never really thought i'd pursue it until my best pal pointed out how i can earn pocket money out of a hobby... ain't that great?

you know how much i want to be a stay-at-home mom but can't really do that kan... so let's see how this'll go.

hi ydiana,
thanks for the comment... nice kan the song? very the berantu.

regarding those 2 people, i have forgotten about them long ago... didn't even remember their name until this particular friend of mine mentioned it. but to forgive, i'm just a normal human being and forgiving is something that i haven't quite come to just yet. seriously, if you know me, i'm a very forgiving person. but if i haven't done so that means what they have done was something beyond explanation from people who called themselves 'friends'. i just don't bother and forget they even exist.

Amy said...

Amy mana tu? Bukan I kut? Oh well, I'm glad I can now read your blog :). Juan, apa pun decision you make, I'm sure you'll succeed. Insyallah, ada rezeki little jj nanti. U take care!

diamond baby said...

Yeah, it'll be quite a change in lifestyle once you've decided to stay home. I did that once but alas I cannot prevail due to the boredom. Maybe it's just me coz other stay at home mummies that I know seems quite contented.

All the best to you dear. I'm sure things will be just fine. As they say, rezeki anakkan!

Perhaps now its a good time to have nuffnang ads onboard your blog for the extra cash *wink* :D

Nour said...

time sure flies so fast these days...you are due next mth kan? Anyways wishing you and Acat all the best and Insyaallah it will be a smooth sailing journey. Take care and am sure all of us cant wait to see pics of lil jj :)

P/s: have you guys finalised on lil jj's name? just curious.hehe :)

toughcookie said...

hi amy,
thanks, dear... you take care too!

diamond baby dear,
really?? you've tried it?

i'm not sure how fast i'll get bored since i've started sewing and with a little baby coming soon, there might not be room for boredom. dunno la after awhile nanti kan...

kalau ikutkan financial especially with the rise in energy cost i don't think it's fair to just depend on our other half and that's why i would like to try out til at least end of the year... let's see how it goes with my freelance copywriting and translation. when i did that 3 years back, the income was pretty satisfactory.

thanks for the suggestion. i'll find out more about the nuffnang ads. take care, girl!

nour!!
welcome back! i'll definitely post a photo of little jj when the time comes, insyaAllah. in fact, you're already in my list of sms recipients for the announcement of her birth (i've kinda drafted the sms) hehe...

nama dah ada. lama dah ;)

emly2175 said...

Wow! sewing! now that an easy way to earn money while being a SAHM. memang boleh buat duit tau... So boleh ke I hantar kain for baju kurung? hehehe..

I'm so sad actually looking at what is happening with our country, the Government, the malays especially. I dare to say that Anwar will be the next PM if someone is still busy with his things only & not thinking about the nation. Lagi sedih & risau bila baca Che Det's blog as what he said there is true. Not all of us peka dgn things under our own nose. The future of malaysia to be like Indonesia & like what malay singapore has become can come true..Tapi semua orng dok sibuk jaga hal periuk nasi sendiri aje..

On another note, bestnya dpt jaga anak sendiri.. Lucky u gal!

toughcookie said...

dear emly,
sure boleh! hehe... in fact, a month back, while experimenting on my sewing capability (it has been a while since i've sewn anything!), i managed to make my very own first maternity baju kurung yippeee!! siap pakai at my cousin's wedding... hehe..

itu la nye... frankly, there's a lot of things i want to write about the frustrations... but i don't want it to be used against me in the future. itu pun dah kira jaga periuk nasi sendiri. why we are like that, i am not very sure. i guess all of us have to survive one way or another cos whatever we do will affect those we love around us. unless we are already in politics, it may not be that bad since we already have the power for people to take what we say seriously.

part of my wanting to not work anymore is the fact that i do not want to give the government so much money in tax. last year alone i have paid so much that i am very disappointed us in the middle class income group is somewhat victims since we are not eligible for many benefits yet we have to pay our way for EVERYTHING!.. assessments, tol, road tax, and the list goes on...

of course, the only way not to pay so much tax is to live in a mediocre way... tak boleh la kaya raya. so far, if that's what's gonna make us all happier, probably that's what we should do... make a difference in our own way. i guess la. i can't think of any other way. plus, it'll make me happier cos i am able to raise my own child without having to pay for more stuff like childcare! itu belum education lagi nanti.

and the list goes on...

dulu i sokong tun resign cos he has done so much for the country and he deserves a break but now, i wish he'd come back. they kept saying that we have gone thru so many recessions and yet the country survived... but that was because of him in the leadership! yes, he's not perfect, i admit that... but at least he thinks of his people! he is selfish, yes, but so is everybody else... but at the end of the day, we all gained not keep losing...

urrghhh... and the list goes on...

diamond baby said...

I have 2 things to add:

1. Now that you've started sewing again, why don't you sew something to give visitors after the delivery? I did that and requested that people pray for the well being of my newborn. I wanted to have a good beginning with lots of 'doa' for her, then.

2. If you're still opting to continue working, you can pay zakat in lieu of paying taxes. You will feel tonnes better!

You take care too girl! I'll be praying for your well being!