i shall not stop writing.

No, I have not stopped writing...

2010-08-02T00:36:00.005+08:00

Ok, I know that it has been so so long since I've updated this blog. I have no excuses for it... I dunno... I've probably hit some phase in my life where I start to question and consider many things.

I don't want to say that I've stopped blogging because I know I will never stop writing. I love writing and have always loved to write since I was very young. And I do not really want to spell it in here that I will stop updating this blog because who knows when something might trigger my juices and these fingers will start typing. But... I do believe that I will stop updating this blog, simply because I feel that I need more privacy in my life or that I do not wish to share my deepest feelings about my personal life anymore. And as much as I have kept telling myself that I do not need to explain that in here, I do feel that I should clear the air.

So... I would like to inform everyone that though I may not be updating in here anymore, I would still be writing and sharing my views with you... at a more professional level, through my other blog, My Views and Reviews. I am also trying to make myself update more regularly in my pwincesh's blog, JadaKyra. Please find me there, ya...

As for the Thursdays with me, some of you have received my replies personally... I may not be featuring any enquiries in here but if some questions aren't too personal, I shall highlight it in my other blog. Can?

Here's to say that there's no goodbyes :)

Miss Dior Cherie phone charm, an excellent Idea!

2010-08-01T11:26:00.001+08:00

This is my current favourite, the Miss Dior Cherie phone charm from a haul [or damage] made last Friday at Isetan KLCC. They also have a huge promotion at KLCC's concourse area, if you'd like to check it out.

Read more here.

Kampachi @Pavilion KL: A Great Dining Experience!

2010-07-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

Recently, I was given the task to plan for our 3rd anniversary dinner. Now, I have always mentioned to Mr Husband that I love Kampachi. It's been awhile since I went there and we've never gone there together since Mr Husband is not a big fan of Japanese food. But... since it spells luxury, it was one of the choices in our list of places for good food, good ambience and perfect atmosphere for a celebration.

Read more here.

A great time at Toy Story 3.

2010-07-02T04:37:00.005+08:00

A few weeks back I was a little disappointed when told that the class I wanted to enrol for Rohani Jelani cooking was full. But my spirits were lifted somewhat when a publisher I've been working with on some projects extended me 4 free tickets to watch Toy Story 3. It was like a blessing in disguise that the cooking class was full as I was then able to 'treat' my family to a movie session *wink* I was ecstatic even more than my eldest hehe... because I totally love Toy Story and have mentioned to the publisher a month back that I was looking forward to catch the movie when it reaches our shores.

Oh man... I think Toy Story 3 must have been the best of its trilogy. Seriously. You know how it is with movie producers trying to make the most bucks out of movie goers when their first instalment becomes successful... well, I think Toy Story must be one of the most successful animation yet because I totally enjoyed all of its previous 2 movies as they all invoke some real-life emotions even though it is an imaginative tale that you think would relate to a child-audience. Well, then again, everyone has a little child in them, right?

This third instalment was brilliant. I love everything about it... the strong script, hillarious scenes especially those with Barbie and Ken (and oh, that scene where Buzz was in Spanish mode!), the moving moments... and just when you thought things couldn't get any more touchy, you'd be so moved that something in you just want to breakdown into tears. Well, I did... and I cried buckets!

If you googled to find out the storyline (which I wouldn't rant so much in here to not spoil it for those who haven't watched it), every one of them movie reviewers would say the last 15 minutes of the film triggered some waterworks in them. Some were just close to tearing up but I was totally down to tears starting from the scene where the toys started to hold hands at the garbage incinerator. From there on, I just couldn't contain my emotions and I continued to cry til the end because the scenes were just so touching.

But don't let me get you on the emotional part... the movie was brilliant right from the start. It touches you on how amazing the producers were as this movie used up every imagination possible and kind of reminded me of my much younger days when I role play while acting as if I was in another world filled with my toys as life-like characters.

I think the best part about this movie is the attention to details - the clever planning of Andy's toys in order to escape, the beautiful bond they have with each other, their loyalty and how the writers emphasised each of the toys' characteristics that we all have identified with in the previous 2 Toy Story installations, ie. how Rex loves to play video games, and the quirks of Mr & Mrs Potato, etc. Here, their personalities are given an even stronger emphasis that I find myself suddenly becoming their big fan and went totally excited when I saw them being sold in children's departments of major shopping centres ;)

This was little jj's first movie experience. We weren't worried of her being afraid of the darkness of the cinema because I know for a fact that she could just sit inside our room or her abang's room when it's dark. We were only worried that she wouldn't want to sit through the entire movie because she wanted to leave after 45 minutes when we watched Disney On Ice months back. Then, I was also worried that she wouldn't be able to watch the movie properly because I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to put on the 3D glasses. And, since she has been pretty much sensitive to noises, I was afraid that she would find the loud speakers a bit bothersome.

mengada at daddy on Daddy's Day ;)

Yup, she hated the 3D glasses but she totally enjoyed the first part of the movie where they screened a short film called, Day & Night. If you're familiar with Pixar's movies, you would expect an interesting short movie just before the actual movie starts.

I think she was the noisiest during this short screening. There were sheep and cows and other farm animals that she started to get excited and shouted out loud the sounds they make, like, "Baaa baaa" for sheep, and "Moo moo" for the cows. She went on and made other sounds like the cat and the dogs, and the audience just laughed listening to the cute sounds she made... out loud! hehe... I was glad though that the cinema was filled with kids and I guess the audience was more tolerant of the noises their kids made and no one expected total silence from this movie session :)

We were surprised though, that little jj fell asleep as soon as Toy Story 3 started haha... I guess the screen was blurry since she refused to let us put on the 3D glasses but I was so glad that she slept through the entire movie because that gave us all a chance to sit through the entire session. She was dead to the world even with the blaring sound of the speakers during some suspense moments nearing the end. In fact, she was sound asleep until the audience left the hall and all through mommy sniffing and snorting from that very emotional experience *blush*

kesian daddy had to hold her...

And, I was happy that little jj managed to wear the Audrey-Hepburn-ish fleece jacket that I got from Next Baby when we were in the UK last year. It was only 10 pounds and although I knew that she may only be wearing it during the short trip, I couldn't resist getting it because it was so cute and cheap. I was glad that although the jacket is for a 12-month old baby, it fits a baby that weighs up to 11 kilos thus fitting little jj perfectly!

at Bicester Village, back in April 2009...

just 2 weeks ago... the sleeves are still long, eh?

The little munchkin truly enjoyed this movie too since we allowed him to skip his taekwondo lesson just to take advantage of this session. I mean, if I weren't given free tickets, I wouldn't know when we'd decide to just go and bring little jj along. Furthermore, it was during the school holidays and his taekwondo lesson was somewhat more of a practise session rather than an actual lesson because many students were away during the break. Thus, I thought it was a fantastic opportunity.

If you haven't yet watched Toy Story 3, I do think you wouldn't go wrong with this selection. Even if you do not have kids and not sure if animation suit your soul, I don't think you'll be disappointed with this movie. And if you haven't cried in a long time, catch this movie for that great humour and you'll find yourself crying towards the end... and no one will penalise you for crying because many of them will. I think so la...

Mid-fb-life Crisis, he tells me.

2010-06-29T00:03:00.005+08:00

"Hi... I just got a 'friend request' from you... were you in Desasiswa C****a (back in uni)? You were from the East Coast and part of those who used to talk bad about me, right?"

That was a short message I just sent out in facebook awhile ago.

The one said that I have a mid-facebook-life crisis, in that, I am acting as if someone who has a mid-life crisis... someone who's suddenly considering and thinking so much about something she has been doing all these while and questioning the reasons for it, even to the point of re-considering newer habits as I've lost faith in certain things due to stuff I've been receiving, reading or/and seeing.

All of a sudden, I feel that facebook is filled with pretentious people (moi included). You have friends whom you label as 'friends' yet some of them are privileged to view everything you put up about yourself while some of them are unable to view your wall, your full profile or your entire photo album. Heck, I am not just talking about others but I, too, have people whom I segregate to Family, Friends, Best Buddies, Blogger Friends and one particular group I named 'Questionable' who are unable to view my wall and can only read my notes without being able to comment on them because I don't fancy their views and not bothered about letting them know how I feel, yet I am unable to delete them off my Friends list because they are either family members, relatives or a friend whom I do not want to burn the bridges with.

So, that makes me pretentious too?

Heck, I am not a pretentious person because that is so not me. But circumstances in life sometimes forces you to be that way because you need to consider someone else's feelings... and while you do that, I feel some sort of insincerity... and being insincere tires me to the bones, being someone who thrives on principles.

Then, there are those whom I 'hide' on my Recent News wall. They are my friends, but I dislike reading their status because they would either create awkwardness to people reading their status or that they make my blood boil with never-ending stupid/rude comments on politics and personal stuff regarding their partners or their ex, giving out pathetic excuses to obtain constant attention and grabbing people to join them in easy money-making quests.

I know everyone's into facebook and I have to admit that it is a very good social and networking tool. In fact, I have been using facebook so actively because it is the only window to my networking and keeping-in-touch-with-friends ability. I stay at home all day. I work from home. I see no one at times. I go out only with my little jj and I only meet my family day in day out. Therefore, facebook is my only window to the outside world... I keep in touch very well on facebook... I get involved in many of what's happening to my friends through their status updates while I totally ignore other's updates whom I do not hide which I don't quite bother because I don't pretty much care about them but have nothing against them.

Previously, I would just delete people off my list especially those who dare request me to add them into my list of friends but never bothered to even write me a message and put in any efforts to keep in touch with a simple hi or how have you been or what have you been doing questions. But, I realised that many people get easily offended by that gesture of deletion and got me into thinking and re-considering my bold actions because there is nothing wrong about adding them and keeping them in my list as I could just easily segregate them into groups. Thus, allowing more control of what they can view and what they can't, until later on when we have more time to chat and they earn my trust.

Now, with 444 friends in my list and further editing controls to my privacy, I suddenly felt sick. Because I don't need over 400 friends and always worried who would misuse their access to my hoards of photographs. I mean, I never thought I even have 400 friends whom I can call, friends. So, yes, all of a sudden, I do feel sick with it. The pretentiousness.

I have been feeling this way since over a week ago when a sudden bout of low hit me. Could it be due to the age factor, coming to a certain phase in my life? I dunno...

I am lucky enough to just name a handful of friends whom I can depend on but 400?

I have a long lost friend who was so happy to see me again in facebook and we reminisced on old times and the things that I saw her went through... but when the time came to meet up, there were an endless bout of excuses of why she can't see me and that got to me... I mean, why bother.

Then, there were some people who were never even fond of me in Uni and were very clear with me on that then and all of a sudden expects me to add them into my circle of friends. Like, what the...

Do I really have 400 friends? And if you add someone, does that necessarily earn a friendship badge? And if you strike a friend off your list, does that make you both non-friends? Does it make you less of a friend or is that just plain normal and acceptable because in real life, we also unconsciously categorise our friends - with whom we trust more compared to the rest?

It's just that categorising subconsciously compared to putting it clearly online for the user makes it seem more pretentious. For me, at least.

So, like this is just a phase for me? Questioning all these. Does this mean I am going to move away slowly from my online presence there or will this be applied to everything else?

Why am I feeling this all of a sudden? Why am I suddenly affected by this?

Toughcookie Receives More Awards...

2010-06-28T11:18:00.008+08:00

Hi all... I've been a little lazy with updating this blog and I thought on this beautiful Monday morning, I should do up the tags that has been way overdue.

First of all, thank you to my fellow-MBP ambassador, Cik Lily Putih, for giving me these awards. Danke (cakap Jerman cos zee Germans won the match last night and played a brilliant game hehe)...

First one...

Questions for this award...

1. Write an entry regarding this award :
Done!

2. My efforts to make the blog cheerful :
Gosh... this is hard. Errrmmm... post lotsa cute photos and videos of little jj....?? Can that count? ;P owh, and lotsa lotsa photos of delicious food??

3. 5 words that best describe you :
Perfectionist, passionate, bold, unpretentious, simple.

4.Tag other friends for this award.

Amy, Mira, Goolymama, Nina :)

1) Copy this award to your blog.
Done.

2) Make a speech to the person who gave you this award and how you feel about this award.

Thank you so much to dearest Cik Lily Putih because she thinks I am a nice person. Then again, I am nice to her even if I may not be that nice to others. I know that there's nothing wrong about being nice but I find that many people do not deserve to be treated nicely because a lot of people loves to take advantage of people they think are nice. Hence, I guess this award is dedicated to my friends whom I am nice to... because I am sure many people do not agree with this award ;P

3) Answer these questions...

1. What is playing in your head right now?
Oh no oh no what's the time now... must get ready for lunch and then sending my eldest to school and then lunch for little jj and then bla bla bla.....

2. Your nickname?
Toughcookie / Beskot

3. Name 3 people you love most.
My husband, my children, my parents.

4. The name you call your dearest...
Will not be disclosed.

5. What is the present you've always wanted from that someone special...
Too many to mention hehe...

6. Which blogs do you like to visit that I can also follow?

Those blogs that are listed on my right side-bar, under 'My Blog List'. It can still be expandable if I do come across more blogs to read :)

7. Tag 15 more friends for this award.

Damn... don't think I have that many blogger friends since I read many but cannot really be called 'friends' as I only read them silently. So, if you think you are nice and deserve this award, go ahead and put it on your blog, ya.

Quick and Easy Recipe in 7 min!

2010-06-24T00:13:00.002+08:00

"I tertarik dengan your resipi sandwich that you posted some time ago. Do you have any other easy recipes that you can share? I need something new that I have not tried before..."

Toughcookie says:

Funny that this blog is almost turning into a foodie. But, yes, I do have a couple more easy and quick ones up my sleeves and since they are really my own recipes, I guess it won't hurt to share.

Well, actually, this one here isn't an entirely a Toughcookie original recipe. I have adapted it based on some basic stuff I learnt while preparing little jj's pureed stock a year ago (I think!) and added some other stuff to suit my taste buds. I've prepared this a number of times to the one and my little munchkin, and they both thought it was tasty, despite the one not truly fond of fish, particularly, salmon.

Yup, we all know that cooking fish is probably the easiest and quickest... and, I chose salmon because well, I love salmon ;). Little jj loves it too and I am so glad that she does because salmon is among the safest (lowest risk of mercury contamination from the sea), highest in protein and best sources of Omega 3 fatty acid (which is the best food for the heart and brain).

And so, during my lazy moments, I would take out a fish fillet and put everything else in the dish and I can either eat it just like that or have it with rice. But, since salmon is very filling, chances are, you don't need rice to go with it.

What you need: Salmon (250-300gms), broccoli florets, slices of carrots, 20gms unsalted butter, shredded cheese and milk (enough to fill around 2mm of the dish - very shallow).

Not in picture: You can even add cauliflower and plenty of onions. Since I love onions, I would only add them after it is cooked so that the onions bring out a more intense flavour...

zoom in: you can see crushed black peppercorns and the veges soaked in milk...

Put the dish into a microwave oven and it would be nicely cooked in less than 10 minutes under the highest microwave setting. Mine cooked in 7 minutes only :)

Preparation time: less than 10 min

Cooking time: approx 7 min

Effort: minimal

Taste: Priceless!!

After effect: Full tummy, happiness :)

You can add salt to taste and sprinkle on black peppercorns before or after cooking, whichever you prefer. It is also tastier if you add shredded cheese after the dish is cooked. I've even tried using soy milk as the shallow base and the dish turned out still very delicious. Be sure to have the milk spread evenly on the dish or your vegetables may turn out a little dry. If you'd like your veges to be fresh, add them only at the last 1-2 minutes of cooking time.

You can even try other types of fish. I've tried Flatfish (Ikan Sebelah) and Mackerel, and they turned out just fine. Oh, just one more thing, salmon does omit a strong fishy smell... so, if you like, you could squeeze some lime zest on top. I didn't because I only take lime in drinks or junk food, not cooked food.

Hope you'll like this as much as little jj and I do ;)

Desserts with Rohani Jelani

2010-06-21T07:53:00.003+08:00

In relation to my previous post on cooking with Rohani Jelani, this has been one overdue entry ;) sorry babes, I've been extremely tied up with stuff...

I think you can note my glee every time I talk about the cooking classes with RJ. The classes are not only a wonderful and enlightening experience, but more so because RJ is very passionate about her classes and her recipes. I think many people have experienced buying at least one recipe book or downloading some recipes from the net that do not work. I've tried a handful of them that were pretty tasteless too. Therefore, classes like this is truly helpful for people like me who doesn't cook much and not very adventurous to try anything too tedious.

Rohani Jelani, at work.

I also think that her classes are so wonderful in that I would be told if I made a mistake or things I shouldn't do in the process of cooking a certain dish... things can be rectified during the preparation process to obtain a certain result unlike you making something from a recipe from a book and would be wondering why things don't turn out the way they should because no one can point out if you've made a mistake... heck, in fact, you wouldn't even know what you did wrong.

And, the bonus part about going for her classes would be meeting all these wonderful people who may or may not be a good cook and that you won't feel awkward at all to admit that you haven't been doing this or that since everyone who comes in for the classes have one thing in common - to learn.

i love this simple arrangement at the registration table. they're things that RJ grows herself at her resort-like facility.

they're actually baby chilly plants and lime!

For this cooking session, I attended a class for desserts. I was gonna attend with my mom as a Mothers' Day treat but my dad forgot to inform her that they were supposed to attend a relative's wedding. So, I went alone despite moi not feeling well from a scary health attack the day before.

The thing about going alone is that you will be paired up with some other groups that chose similar type of recipes (you are to be paired with another student and choose 3 recipes from the list). This time, like the first class I attended, the group I was in made 4 recipes instead of 3 because they couldn't find any other students with an identical match. And, this time, I was in a group of 3 students.

With you coming in alone, there would be that risk of you getting paired up with a character that may not agree with you. Although my first class was a blast being paired up with a perfect stranger, this time, I wasn't that lucky. Well, it wasn't that horrifying... but I was nevertheless a little put off by what I experienced.

In the first place, all 3 of us chose 2 similar recipes - the Tarte Tatin and the Gooey-Centred Chocolate Pudding. But moi and another person had chosen to make the Creme Brulee while only one person wanted to learn to make the Baked Cheesecake. Now, I don't have any problem to learn things that I had not intended to learn because additional knowledge is priceless... but I would seriously detest a person who pushes me into doing something that I hadn't even sign up for, just because she may not know how to operate electrical appliances such as the food processor and hand mixer. I mean, the ingredients were literally shoved in front of me when the person had actually signed up to learn this particular recipe... all when I could have helped my other partner who was busy making the recipes that we had indeed chosen to learn. And I tell you, the other partner wasn't keen on making the cheesecake because she wanted to make those recipes that she had chosen. So, who else to shove the ingredients to, right, if not for this 'junior' student who probably looked young-er and easier to push.

To take it in a positive way, I learnt to use the hand mixer for the first time ever and the next time I sign up for RJ's classes, I seriously would want to get a friend to be my partner because I want my experience to be positive in all aspect. Then again, that opportunity might be rare since I'd hate to rely on another person because in most cases, it's better to go alone as you may not be in control of another friend's schedule and priorities when the time comes.

So, here goes... pictures of stuff we all made that day. All of them were lovely recipes and I seriously would recommend you to take up a class because you'd definitely want to keep going for more!

making caramel for the Tarte Tatin (pronounced as, "TAR-TA-TA")

While preparing the Tarte Tatin, I learnt so many useful tips especially on the tools to use. I especially liked the part where RJ taught us a trick on how best to peel apples :)

this one was a mixture for the Creme Brulee. The dark dust-like substance is actually speckles of real vanilla...

While preparing the Creme Brulee, I learnt a few new stuff particularly on several types of vanilla used on baking recipes and how each of them is different.

RJ doesn't leave us alone or just tell us what we should and shouldn't do. What I like about her is that she would patiently come over to your cooking area and teach you what you're supposed to do or how you go about doing something.

here, she made us all see how we should prepare the base for the cheese cake.

this was the area i used in my first cooking class... you see 2 groups with delicious stuff waiting to be completed. Clockwise from the top: Baked Cheesecake (that's almost done), the caramelised apples that's neatly arranged for the Tarte Tartin (waiting to be completed), and that dough for the pastry of the Tarte Tartin (which needs to be rolled with a pin).

here, a zoom in on the cheesecake waiting to be baked ;)

this was part of the process to making the Gooey-Centred Choc Puddings...

In this session, I learnt plenty of useful tips and how the gooey-centred result can be achieved. It was definitely enlightening.

look at everyone's expression... we were all eager to see the first batch of Tarte Tatin fresh from the oven ;D

ain't that pretty?? it was so yummy too...

here, RJ showed us a perfect Choc Pudding...

and how lovely it's gooey-centred portion flowed. heaven!

this was my portion of the Baked Cheesecake for me to bring home...

and since the recipe to the Baked Cheesecake allowed for plenty of extra portions, we all had cheesecake for dessert after that wonderful lunch Wati cooked for us *reminiscing that yummy nasi dagang we had*

The Sunday class ran hours late because we all had a really good chat before the class started (the class really started at almost 11am instead of 9.30am) and since our group was doing 4 recipes instead of 3, we had to continue baking after that hearty lunch.

this was the Creme Brulee.

Guess what we had for our tea time that lovely Sunday??... hehe...

my perfect Tarte Tatin..

and this was only captured after it was almost finished... the last bite of my cheesecake with strawberry & mango topping *ooohh yummylicious*

Unlike her other recipes which I've tried making at home, I have yet to make these desserts after that class. I need an electric hand-mixer and to stock up my pantry with baking ingredients and tools before I can embark on this new experience.

Anyways, last Thursday I realised the many missed opportunities to some of the classes that I would have liked to attend but couldn't, and found myself registering into another class, albeit without a partner hehe... I guess Rohani Jelani has truly made cooking such an enjoyable 'adventure' and I would openly face whichever insignificant character that may affect my experience, just so I could learn from her. I guess that experience of being in her kitchen would make you learn much more than you ever would (well, at least for me, that is :D) and I feel that it is worth every second I have. Oh, but unfortunately, I registered a little last minute and was told that that particular class was already full. Nevertheless, I will definitely look out for other classes that I can attend :)

Yup, I am addicted to cooking with Rohani Jelani and I am sooo thankful to Izreen for writing about RJ in her blog.

All About Jada Kyra at 23 months

2010-06-18T00:35:00.007+08:00

my inspiration for this entry ;)

It's 11.15pm when I started typing this and am just dreading the moment, if, in case little jj does a number on me the way she did late last night.

Ok, I must say that she has expanded her vocabulary awfully quick. Although most of the time she would talk gibberish, there would be times when we are all surprised by the words that came out of her without us pushing her to repeat after us.

Like the other day, she held her precious giraffe toy and said, "biraffe"...

Then she pointed out a photo of shoes and boots in her counting & colours book and said, "syuuu"...

And she loves to pick up coins from our room or her brother's room and would hand them over to me. Usually, I would say thank you to her but the other day, she said, "kangkoo" before handing over the coins ;)

Yesterday, she saw the birth of a baby giraffe on Animal Planet and said, "goat!" haha...

she also has that fiery part of her... hehe but this one is only for show ;P

And we recently saw her acting on her curiosity at mommy's beloved kitchen. Being a toddler, she's a naturally curious munchkin. But, I had always been able to manage that curiosity because she would hear me say, "No", and be very obedient not to touch stuff in the kitchen. Even when I leave a cupboard open, she would just look at the cookwares and plates and stuff and not touch them... until very recently, though. It helped that our kitchen cabinets do not have knobs on them. As it is pretty difficult to open them, she had only learnt the tricks to that and only recently started to rummage through everything. Yup, that she recently did.

habis kitchen cabinet mama... all attached firmly with latches :D

Being her mom and knowing her baby's character to the T, I wondered when she'd start getting sick. You know how it is with some beliefs that when a baby starts to acquire certain skills, she'd be down with fever? I remembered when she started to count 1-10 out loud months ago and said few things like 'abang' and 'atuk' and 'nenek' and 'cupcakes' and 'chicken' and stuff, she fell ill right after :D but that was expected because I did read somewhere on the net that a baby's brain can only absorb an X amount of info and too much info all at once can be pretty overwhelming for them.

So, with this belief and an anticipation to be prepared for another bout of fever especially since she's been sneezing a lot too, I got disturbed when she kept crying at many intervals last night although she has turned in by 10pm. It was after midnight when she cried non-stop and though I would like to just ignore it since daddy can manage, I was worried that she actually had developed a temperature.

I was glad, though, that I checked in on her because the top part of her pyjamas was wet from her tears and I definitely didn't want her to catch cold since she sleeps in an air-conditioned room. Changed her into another pair of pyjamas and held her tight while I lay on my back on the sofa in the living room.

Now, this is another new habit she has... she loves to just lie on her tummy while she's either on her daddy, her abang or moi... only the three of us. It's as if she misses hearing the sound of the heartbeat that when she's cranky, she'd instantly become calm when she lies on us that way.

She held me tight as if not wanting me to leave her (since I don't sleep with her anymore) and I actually thought she would fall asleep soon after. To my surprise, she lifted her head and said, "kih kih kih muahh muaahh" while she kissed my face repeatedly hehe...

So, from around 1 am til probably 4.30am, I was with her (while I fell asleep on and off) watching episodes of Chuggington, and Handy Manny... and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, where by this time, she was already on her feet and jumping to the tunes... and Special Agent OSO, and so on. At one point, I actually thought she went into our room because I could hear her say, "beat beat beat", where she would tap on us if she wants to wake someone up hehe... but I later realised that she actually went to her abang's room to get him to play with her. Abang, of course, was snoring heavily as we all had a looooong day yesterday, walking around in Ikea and then picking up daddy before we headed over to Giant's to get diapers.

Oh ya, the one woke up for awhile to accompany us at the living room during all these. In fact, at first I thought he woke up to switch to the sports channel but I guess he was tired as well and went back into the room soon after.

Around 4.30am when I could see little jj being fidgety, I reckon that I should push her to sleep and the only way to do it (when mommy has to put her to sleep in the room) was to offer her my boobies. Yup, although she has weaned off me completely, she still haven't got the hang of no boobies to sleep when she's laid to sleep in the room.... only with mommy, and only when she's in the room. So, by the time she had totally fell asleep was about an hour later.

Damn it was a truly tiring night for me and I was glad that today was a pretty calm day... The best part of it was that little jj fell asleep very easily for her afternoon nap and that lasted a good 3 hours of peace and serenity ;)

i wasn't that rajin today but this chicken soup was enough to make little jj full and slept soundly...

As a mom, I am of course extremely happy to see how cute she's become and how much she has developed so far... we are all adjusting to her new habits and even bought a gate for our kitchen. Yup, my fault that I had asked the contractor to remove the door to our kitchen because I felt that it wasn't necessary but then again, I wouldn't feel safe to not know what's happening inside the house if I were to cook with the door closed. So, we're only starting to install the gate.

Her latest habits make her feel so precious to me and I love that bond of holding her tight and keeping her secure. It can be daunting at times when she needs me to be near her almost all the time and it can be pretty tiring when she starts to get very demanding but most of the time, and hearing her talk, I feel so damn proud of her.

am now trying my best to get her to swim... we're pretty slow on this...

I count my blessings and am truly grateful for everything in my life.

Ok... it is already after midnight and I have a feeling she wouldn't be pulling that same stint tonight *cross my fingers*

Owh, it's a Friday already! Shall I plan for a day out to KLCC tomorrow (I mean, today)?? *wink*

little jj did this with my phone for the first time ever...

Making the most of an empty tube.

2010-06-17T00:27:00.002+08:00

"... do you have any useful household tips that you can share in this column?"

Toughcookie says:

Thanks for asking me this question because I do have something I'd like to share concerning how we can make the most of an almost empty tube of beauty product. I don't know if you are already aware of this particular method because I think I got it either from the Martha Stewart show or Rachael Ray's... but I do think it may help enlighten many people because my family members would always give me that amazed stare whenever I do it. It's as if this particular method is so brilliant.

So, allow me to share.

I started doing this because I always felt that I haven't quite used up a tube entirely even when the products cannot be squeezed out anymore. Call me a scrimp if you like but I call it being efficient. I just hate wastage, especially when beauty products can be pretty expensive. So, the first step would be to cut off the top part of the tube using a pair of sharp scissors.

bear in mind that you should do this only when you're sure it's almost empty and that nothing can come out of the tube anymore when it is squeezed and flattened repeatedly.

Once the top part is cut off, it will be large enough for you to dip your finger into it and you could even swipe your finger on its walls to ensure that you've really used up the content.

I assure you, you would always be able to get at least one or two more application.

for this particular tube of clay masque, I was able to use it for another 4 times due to its thick content ;)

Just imagine if I hadn't done this and would simply throw away the 'empty' tube when there's plenty more in it. Yes, you may find that there'll be excess amount of cream/masque/cleanser/anything that comes in a tube and so, don't fret... you can either use a large paper clip or in my case, a piece of clothes peg did the trick to keep the content fresh for the next beauty pampering session :)

all the tubes around it will enjoy the same fate once they run out ;)

Did you find this interesting?

Ana Raffali Ketika Aku Kecil Album Launch

2010-06-09T09:03:00.015+08:00

I'm at the computer trying to do some work while my babies are still fast asleep but my arms are so tense from carrying little jj for about an hour at Ana Raffali's Ketika Aku Kecil album launch yesterday... and I thought I ought to write about the event before I forgot all about it.

Well, you know how it is with my little jj... she totally hates a new environment especially since the launch was held at a small hall filled with a packed crowd. It didn't help that it was also her nap time and all she wanted to do was cling on to me for comfort, and cling on she did. I mean, what else can I do, right, unless I wanted the entire room to focus on me with a screaming baby ;D

The event started a little late because some members of the press were a little bit late. I was glad I took my own sweet time before coming over because I had already expected the delay. When I arrived I thought I was already late but they didn't start until another 20 minutes or so. Thus, you can imagine a nervous baby in my arms, not knowing why she wasn't able to move about and didn't know what she was waiting for.

As soon as Ana appeared, little jj became totally silent and she listened intently to Ketika Aku Kecil, which has been sorta like a lullaby to her already. And because of that, she fell asleep half way through... since I wanted to make sure she was totally asleep before I put her back into the stroller, I had to keep carrying her.

i was sweating at the back of the room because it was hot! and lugging a toddler on me made it even warmer.

This must be my first experience in an album launch. It was modest but tasteful and I was happy to see how much support Ana Raffali was getting from the media. Since this would really be the start of a totally different phase of her life, I do hope they are all good press rather than bad. I mean, I saw some really stupid points one media was trying to put through just so they have some 'juice' in their weekly weekend programme *sigh* orang baru nak start in the industry pun kena jatuhkan, is it? Menyampah pun ada tengok.

As a support to her journey in this industry, the one had already bought her Ketika Aku Kecil album although we could all get a free copy.... and since we have heard all the songs before, I felt that 6 songs in a CD were just too little to be satisfied about...

I think recently, there have been a lot of new local talents in the market and I think they are all very very talented. Ana Raffali is definitely one of them, with a distinctive positive pull of her own. You may think I am biased in my opinion since she's my SIL, but you know how honest I've been in my opinions when I write, I'd mince my words but not my honesty.

To be frank, I love her when she sings with just her guitar... nothing else but the guitar. She has such a sweet melodic voice and she makes you want to hear her soul when she sings and strums her guitar. So, when I first heard her Hujan Bunga Di Kuala Lumpur single, I felt that the accompaniment of other musical instruments did not do justice to her already beautiful voice. But, since you all have not heard her with just the guitar, I guess her songs will somehow hit you because they are all very beautifully written and I especially like her lyrics because she writes from the heart, just as how I would (of course, her writing sounds more poetic la...).

Renowned composer, Aidit Alfian, even said in his speech and during Q&A of the raw talent that she has compared to the rest and the rare gift she has of writing from the heart, not for a market. And since she didn't take any formal music training, her pieces are not limited to any specific rules nor references. One who only learnt to play the guitar all on her own from a 'How To Play The Guitar' guide before she started writing her own songs, definitely deserves a huge credit, don't you think?

It wasn't an easy ride for her as it took her years to get this album out. 2 years, I think. I almost thought it wouldn't happen for her. I never knew it would take so long to get an album out and Aidit didn't quite answer the question when a reporter asked why he only put in 6 songs in this first album. I know Ana has so many other good materials which she played to little jj because those songs could make her stop crying :) but I believe it is a marketing strategy and in this unstable and unpredictable local music scene, it was to be a safe investment. I think. I still think that they could do away with a hard copy because I know a lot of us wouldn't mind buying just the songs online and that would be an even safer bet but then again, Aidit, being an experienced personality would know the industry and market better.

I think Ana has got what it takes to be good in the industry if she can keep it up... let's hope that she could remain focused and not get too disturbed by the attention that she'd be pulling because it was really a different zone she's charting when I saw her yesterday. Even my little munchkin who always said he wanted to be famous like his auntie Ana suddenly told me he didn't want to be famous because it looked all too tiring and troublesome. Only those who are strong can survive, I guess. In any case, this striking beauty graduated with a first class degree in TESL... I do think that if things do not work out, she would always have her paper qualification to fall back on.

it was a nice venue and little jj was distracted with the fishes while we all wait for the artiste...

if there wasn't that barrier there, i was pretty sure she'd just jump right into the water...

finally, a photo with Auntie Ana, although he knows darn well that he could take a photo with her any time *geesh*

So, with that, I wish her all the best of luck in this journey.

p/s: you can find out about her here, here, here and here, if you like.

snippets of her opening performance taken with an unstable hand as the other one was holding little jj ;P

Ayam Percik Toughcookie Made Perfect

2010-06-07T20:40:00.005+08:00

Thank you, thank you, Rohani Jelani. You've given me this gift of cooking. I never realised how much I enjoyed cooking albeit moi starting to really cook only after I got married 3 years ago.

The one has been busy with an international annual oil and gas conference today and to entice him to come home early (he's still in the office, though *uhuk uhuk uhuk*), I whipped up his favourite ayam percik, again. This is my second time trying it at home after the class that I attended last month and I believe I've gotten the technique/formula right. I didn't get it perfect the last time because I am using a microwave oven instead of the conventional oven and the timing is a bit off.

the last time was a little bit dry and burnt... but still delicious ok! :D

Ooohhh I love, I love.... I can't wait for more classes with her, which I have yet to plan due to a pretty tight schedule I have at home at the moment. I know I still owe you one entry for another cooking class I attended and I will update soon. I promise :)

So, for now, enjoy looking at the delicious photo, ya while I head out for a good workout at the pool.

yummmss...

Movie Date: Killers

2010-06-05T04:07:00.005+08:00

Last night (I mean, Thursday), Nuffnang sponsored our movie date night :)

Yes, my wish came true when I wrote about it here early last month. You know how much we enjoyed our first date after 2 years, right... and it was tough to maintain that momentum since plenty of things have been happening with the one and his career progress, which kinda translate to some over-busy-ness plus, I hate asking my mom to babysit little jj just so that both of us could have a good time... it just didn't feel right and sounded pretty selfish on our part since I know that my mom doesn't really like babysitting. But... the free tickets we got seemed to be a pretty good excuse and was so glad that my mom obliged.

We almost didn't make it to the special screening as the one had some stuff at the office that needed urgent attention and I was praying hard that he could arrive at the LRT station in time. It was raining so heavily and I was afraid of how traffic would be like heading to One Utama. But... it was meant to be as we arrived just in time before the counter closed and we went in just as the film started since we had a long wait at the popcorn counter.

The movie was just okay la... I wouldn't say it was great... it was just ok. But, the fact that I had the chance to catch a movie again with my dearly beloved of course made the experience lovely. I cherish these moments so much simply because it is pretty hard to come by.

Anyways, I thought Ashton Kutcher was really cute. Well, I know he is cute but what I meant was, the character that he played was really cute. I've never really seen him act a serious-geeky character and I guess that would make him a real good actor since he was believable.

The main female cast was just ok. I am not a big fan of Katherine Heigl and her character wasn't strong. So, just 2 cookies for her while Kutcher scores a 4 ;D

The story revolves around... wait... I don't even remember her character name! That isn't good, huh? googling now...

............. still googling...

Ok... she plays Jen, who met Spencer (I remember his character hehe...) on a vacation where he was performing his last job as an assassin. They fell in love in a cheesy way, got married, moved to a small town and after 3 years, his past came to haunt him. All hell broke loose from there and you will either find the plot weakening or heightened. Whichever way, the movie was still entertaining if you would only stop asking questions *smirk*

owh owh owh look at that hot bod. i mean, sun... hot sun ;P

aaahhh the joys of being in love. it's just great :)

wait, a gun in bed? hmmm...

one of the scenes when jen just found out spencer's little secret...

she's kinda like a computer software security expert or sumthin'...

You can read more about its plot here.

I guess if you're a big fan of Kutcher or Heigl, you wouldn't mind watching it because it provides a pretty decent entertainment. I guess what I liked about the movie was the part where all questions were answered... like it all finally made sense.

Don't watch it with too high of an expectation because well, you'll see why. Then again, I guess you've got to cut Kutcher (who produced it) some slack since he did tell us that this was indeed a perfect Friday night movie where a guy and a girl don't have anything else to do and would just like to let loose and while away time.

Judging from that night, we did manage to let loose after watching Killers.

So, thank you, Nuffnang, for the tickets. We truly enjoyed ourselves.

Can A Marriage Last A Lifetime?

2010-06-03T15:48:00.002+08:00

"....Can I get your views on marriage and relationship since you always write so much about it. I am getting married soon and of course scared a little after seeing so many friends already divorce. They always advise me on what I should and should not do when I get married but I would like to know what you think about how we can make a relationship work in a marriage..."

Toughcookie says:

First of all, I am no expert in this matter since I myself have only been married for 3 years. Yes, I do have an opinion on this issue but I would like to say that they might not work when only one party practices it because it takes two people in a marriage to work together to maintain a harmonious relationship, to honour and respect each other, to love and cherish one another, til death do them apart. Unfortunately, these things are scarce these days with people all wanting shortcuts and many prefer being non-confrontational, which sometimes lead to lack of communications and eventually scores of misunderstanding.

First of all, I would say, marry because of the love you have for each other - not because he could buy you a Beemer (although that would be a bonus, yes) or because he has a body like abang Vin Diesel, etc. When you love each other that much, you would do anything for one another.... you would work hard to create wealth to grow your family together, you would want to cook for the family even when you're dead tired after a long day at work and you would always want to do things together. That would create a happier environment and there isn't anything you can't face since both of you would support each other in times of need and be your pillar of strength when you need a shoulder to cry on.

With love, both of you will get far because you would always remember why and how you both got there in the first place and even when there are fights or misunderstanding at home (yes, there will always be these moments, definitely), the love you have for one another will bring you back to each other's arms.

If you marry because of money, you must know that wealth can just be taken away if one is not careful. I've seen how someone got married hastily for money but as soon as there was a financial crisis at home, she packed her bags and left the husband.

With love, you would take each other as is, accept their flaws no matter how much you complain about them and keep supporting each other for a better future together. Surely, love is just a feeling that can dissipate with time, if one is not careful. So, I guess, this is not an independent point and must work with other factors in a marriage.

Secondly, I strongly believe that the couple must both know and be fully aware of their responsibilities. The husband must be aware of his role as the leader of his family and the wife must realise that she is a wife no matter how much you want to fight for gender equality. When you have a sense of responsibility towards your family, I think most affairs and betrayal would be non-existent. That's why, I feel that women especially, must always get their husbands involved in raising their kids, not just by giving pocket money. There needs to be proper bonding activities like bathing the kids, tucking them to bed at night, reading them stories, going swimming, etc. If you don't have kids, get your husband involved in some decision-making process relating to the house or the vacation and stuff like that which involves the two of you. I know some men dislike these things but that's probably because they've never tried it or prefer the easy way out since women can be quite manipulative sometimes as they'd want their other half to agree to everything they've decided.

With the sense of responsibility, both parties will have a sense of belonging at home and towards each other and it makes things more convenient for the couple. When you know what you're supposed to do at home or for your partner, you will realise that they are always on your mind - like what they would like to have for lunch/dinner, that you would think hard before you decide anything so that you will consider your partner's likes and dislikes. I think so la...

With sense of responsibility, you can prevent one from taking their partner for granted and simply think that everything will fall in place eventually, without even putting any efforts in the relationship. That's the mistake many couples make - to think that a marriage is like the end destination after the courtship and years of dating. The thing is, it isn't the end... in fact, it is just the beginning of life-changing moments.

To me, the fact that you've decided to get married in the first place, you are ready to take on a bigger responsibility. It isn't like fashion where it's something you have to get and wear. It is a huge task of two people working their way up and looking forward to what's in store for the future without being held up by what they missed from those days of singledom.

You have to take actions in your life and being responsible will ensure that your family is well cared for.

Then, the next point would be to hone your listening skills and be patient. Accept the fact that no one is perfect, not even you. Staying with each other for the rest of your lives would be a perfect formula to boredom if you don't listen to the needs of your partner. There will always be new things for you to discover about your partner because humans evolve through time... I used to like blue back then but I no longer favour the colour. Things change and both of you must learn to listen and adapt. You can't assume that things will be the same for the next 30 years and you'd need to be patient if you expect some things to change for the better. This, is also a reminder for myself, actually... because patience has never been my strongest virtue.

I also think that family should always come first. You'd need to learn to prioritise. Just because you're busy at work, that doesn't mean that your family must always understand you and your busy-ness. You'd be surprised at how many of your colleagues who would secretly admire that family-man or family-woman trait in you if you'd always put family before work. I am not saying that you don't need to work. I am just saying that you must prioritise... time/manage your work properly so that you'd be able to return home by dinner or stuff like that. Because like it or not, an employer will not be with you in times of need but your family will. Don't put off that vacation with your other half because you feel that no one else in this world can do that project except you... and you don't have to feel the need to be popular with the entire world when you sacrifice being popular with your own family.

Most importantly, I think, we'd need to throw away our egos when dealing with our most beloved soulmate. Egos always get in the way of everything. Yes, I agree that at times, it does help to display some egoistic tendency simply because we deal with another human. And being human, we always tend to forget things. Things are easily forgotten. Though that hardly applies to me (because I remember everything... haha!) I find that people consciously practice being amnesiac. It's the best defense system if they suddenly realised they've lost a little bit of the 'being responsible' factor or other factors for that matter.

As much as I think there are many other factors to what can make a marriage work til the end, I just feel that these are the most important ones that you simply have to get it tattooed on your heart. Only then, and constantly reminding yourself of who you are and what you'r supposed to do, can possibly make a marriage work for the longest time. I think....

All the best in your next adventure and don't easily give up.

Kapoww!! - Not Quite A Movie Review

2010-06-02T23:36:00.003+08:00

Through a publisher, I got invited to my first ever media preview of a Malay film, entitled, Kapoww!! Atoi the Ajaib Boy.

Now, my first impression of it when I got snippets of what the movie was all about, wasn't something favourable. But I gave it some benefit of the doubt after I saw its cast - it was a list of powerful actors who I believed wouldn't have given it much thought unless the storyline was strong. Well, the stuff that I was asked to do kinda require me to watch the movie anyway and there I was... my first ever experience in such an event.

Someone else from the publisher's side was supposed to attend as well but I guess she didn't want to work after hours and decided at the last minute to ditch the event. So, I was all alone, and felt so out of place. I mean mannn... I was used to seeing famous corporate figures when I was working in the corporate communications line back then and would know how to carry myself in front of them Tan Sri's, Puan Sri's, Datuk's and Datin's but last night, I felt totally L-O-S-T in front of those popular actors! Seriously...

We all gathered in a restaurant at the top floor of KLCC and I found a secluded table to sit, all alone haha... to avoid looking too awkward, I hid behind the press kits and read through the press release s-l-o-w-l-y. After less than 10 minutes, I heard a voice asking me if the seats on my table were taken and I couldn't have been more than happy. Seriously, I thought they would pull the stint on me like back then with my Malay coursemates in uni who used to avoid sitting next to me in the lecture hall as if I was a leper hehe. But I guess positive people attract positive character and I was glad that they came over to where I was seated.

So yes, I made 2 new friends, Safina and Nani, who came to review the movie. Both of them were so friendly and when they knew that it was my first time in such an event, they gave me some very helpful tips and didn't mind me tagging along from the start til the end. In fact, they even treated me like an old friend... seriously, with the experience I have in corporate, I quite like such an experience for a change. I mean, they didn't need to be nice to me since I have nothing to offer them anyway. So, I felt grateful to have met them at the event ;)

this photo i stole from Bernama TV's newscaster, Hilmy Ashley Buddy's FB page. seen here is moi menyelit at the back with him, Safina and Nani :)

We had a nice dinner and we all then walked out of the restaurant to do some random interview with the cast. I am glad that I was there only to watch the movie to understand its storyline more than doing a coverage for the preview. But I still felt a little intimidated looking at how much the entertainment journalists knew their stuff and how huge their cameras were... they knew everyone at the tip of their fingers and some bits of info that was not stated in the press release. The way they talked about a certain actor/producer/director were things that I would tell the one of a corporate personality or their spouse or their wives' favourite bags/shoes ;) I felt really small and so afraid to stand out when that was what's required in an event like this. Gosh... it was so new to me.

I digress. But then again, this is not really a movie review from me, but simply to share what I felt while attending this event.

The one had told me earlier to get Lisa Surihani's autograph while my little munchkin told me to ask for Awie's. Seriously, I had plenty of opportunities to come up to them but I was either glued to the chair or if I was standing up, my feet just froze. I seriously cannot imagine myself coming up to them to tell them so and so love them because that's so expected out of an ordinary person like me... it's like I will be feeding them more points for them to feel more superior. They are, after all, superstars. I just felt I didn't need to inject more fat to their egos ;P

So, no, I didn't say hi to any of them although I did smile to Lisa Surihani because she was just so friendly to everyone. The way she waved her 'hi' to me was as if it was a long time since she saw me. Hmmm... entah... rasa tak boleh masuk langsung in this pretentious arena. But then again, it could also be due to the fact that this was my first experience. I just have to learn it up, I guess.

Kapoww!! Atoi the Ajaib Boy is not like any other Malay movies I've seen. I would like to refrain from saying too many positive points about the movie because everyone's taste is different and I seriously do not want someone coming up to me to say that they watched the movie because of my review and was totally disappointed at what they saw.

But, I can't say anything negative about it either because I truly enjoyed it and not just because it was a free preview. I was in awe of the special effects in the film where it binds together the elements of a movie and comics. More importantly, the film was damn hillarious! I can get awfully put off by jokes that use words with double meaning especially those that connote 'dirty' meaning but in this movie, the jokes were clever, making fun of things around us.

Of course in a Malay movie, you would have some touchy scenes. However, unlike Cicak Man (I use this example because it was a superhero movie just like this one) where I was so put off by the romantic scenes in what's supposed to be a comedy, this one scores well because the touchy scenes didn't come from anything romantic. In fact, it was more of a scene quite like 'Si Tenggang' where the son disowns his own mother.

But, after a long-winded touchy-feely act, we were all brought back to laughing hard, and I totally applaud the smart efforts of the Director, Azizi 'Chunk' Adnan. You hardly find another Malay movie quite like this one and I felt that it just might become the best film of the year, as what was whispered here and there before the preview began. It is so different than the rest I've seen.

Azizi 'Chunk' not only wrote and directed this movie quite brilliantly, he had also injected several messages that I find absolutely scarce in many of our local movies and dramas. Although it took me awhile to get used to having well-thought messages and life's lesson in the movie (and felt that it may not augur well with the audience due to it being a little draggy), I nevertheless salute his efforts in including these elements. It's as if it is a 'community service' from him where these things totally lack in the industry, since entertainment, romance, subject of wealth and power seem to dominate an entire story.

Best of all, I was totally surprised at how well Zizan Raja Lawak acted, this being his first act as the main cast. As he had said during the interview, it is not only his first time acting as a hero of a movie but it is an even bigger role - a superhero named, Atoi, an ordinary kampung boy turned superhero after he was struck by lightning. He pulled off the character so well and having Awie, Afdlin, Lisa Surihani, Khir Rahman and many other famous cast by his side, made the movie an even more enjoyable experience.

I dunno... I may be biased because of the fact that I was totally taken in by the [almost] flawless special effects in a totally local production. But if that made someone like me, who never paid much attention to local movies except those of the late Yasmin, and who'd usually brush off any local movie that's said to be funny, since their jokes are usually distasteful, I guess Kapoww!! Atoi the Ajaib Boy probably contains the right formula to be successful.

the media conference that was held after the preview. sitting L-R: Khir Rahman, Rosnah Mat Aris, Gayatri (Producer), Azizi 'Chunk' (Director), Zizan Raja Lawak, Lisa Surihani, Delyla, Awie & Afdlin Shauki.

In the mean time, I have plenty of things to figure out regarding this movie and wish me luck in my latest assignment, ok?

Seeing the better side of things.

2010-05-31T17:53:00.004+08:00

Today has been a little frustrating... first of all, the internet connection sucked since morning.

We have been using Izzi broadband for more than 2 years totally hassle-free. Now, once we have renewed our 3rd year with them, the internet service seems to have dwindled away... we never got disconnected, ever, but recently it has been downright frustrating with its intermittent connection and worse still, we would always experience a no connection every time it rains. Like wth?

Then, there has been some lagging with my microsoft word application. It is original, mind you, and it happened once before... every time I make any amendments to a file I am working on, it immediately hangs and I am forced to quit the application. Today itself, I had to type one word and made sure I saved the file... saved the file every single time one word was typed so that when I force quit the application, the changes remain. Damn it!

Then, there was a power outage around 3.30pm just now due to heavy rain and I cringed at the thought of my computer not shutting down properly *urgghh*

After all these, and feeling so blardy irritated about the whole thing, I took a second look at myself and let out a deep breath, knowing very well that what I am facing is nothing compared to an ex-colleague who just lost his beloved wife early this morning. Though I hardly knew his wife, I felt a little disturbed by that piece of news because I can't help feeling very sad for their 2-year old daughter, who probably needs her more than ever at this very tender age.

Sometimes we all get so consumed by all these minute things happening in our lives that we forgot to say thanks to Him for this opportunity to live another day, to breathe in the beauty of life and share our happiness with those closest to us.

To Zul, I can never imagine how you must feel at the moment, but all I can say is for you to be strong for your little girl. Cherish what you still have and plan for what's best in the coming future. Al-fatihah to arwah Sheema.

I So Need A Break!

2010-05-28T00:52:00.005+08:00

I'm a little stumped and feeling a little tired from what's happening to people around me.

I dunno what is it with damsels in distress. Why do people keep getting involved in situations that pull them lower and lower every single time? Could it be that they are either so damn unlucky all the time or do they subconsciously put themselves in that situation on purpose? Does it bring so much pleasure to them knowing that there are people who'd come to their rescue every single time and do they feel some kind of power knowing that there are people who'd drop everything for them so that they don't feel so lonely?

Why do some people allow themselves to be the victims of circumstances? If you had put yourself in such a situation when you darn well know the consequences, is it fair for you to cry foul and for everyone to come to your rescue? After awhile, it gets pretty mundane and I cannot help but to question why... why are you constantly in the dumps? Haven't you learnt anything? And when will you listen to your gut feeling?

Seriously, I feel awfully tired. It's not that I don't care... I do... I will do anything in my powers to support you even if I know it's a lost cause. But I cannot do that all the time... I cannot have people suck my positive energy because what will be left for myself or for my family who depends on me for my constant attention?

Sometimes, I feel that people out there do not really need help. Yes, they come crying for help but they don't listen. They keep repeating their mistakes and for what? Why? And when I tried to relay my message across, that makes me the bad person?

Can you only come to me if you really need help and want to help yourself? Because I could only do so much. I need my energy for more important things... material stuff are just petty to me.

So, what am I gonna do? Cry foul to someone else when I put myself in this situation? I need to get out and I don't seem to be able to get my message across clearly although I've been frank enough. You may think I am selfish but then, you are too. Just get up already... open your eyes for just one minute and start to take control of your life. You just have to.

Of friendships and taking sides.

2010-05-27T15:56:00.008+08:00

"Would like to ask your opinion on this matter. These 2 friends I have (married couple) are in the middle of a divorce. The husband is asking us friends to take sides while the wife is always calling us up to cry her heart out. I am sandwiched in the middle because I am close to both of them and I hate to see them do this to each other. What I hate even more is that I have to choose to be friends with only one of them when we have been close friends for more than 10 years. Can you tell me what I should do? I love them both but I don't agree with what they are doing. I would like to remain by their side through this rough time but I feel like I would be betraying one friendship if I am helping the other one. Is this normal?"

Toughcookie says:

First of all, I don't think I should be telling you what you should do because for one, I hardly know you or your friends, and I do not know the depth of the situation. But, I recall of a similar instance which I had faced before and I shall share with you what I did, although it may not be the best answer to your qualms.

Friendship is very important to me especially when friends were always there for me. However, when it comes to a marriage, no one really knows what truly happened in a crisis. Most of the time, I feel that it is always a "He says vs. She says" situation. You hear one side and you gather this information and then you hear the other side and you gather another information. Both stories can be so out of this world but they stick to their story. They may be true, they may be not... they may even be an exaggeration of what actually happened because seriously, I think that when one is so adamant about leaving their partner, they would say whatever it takes to convince themselves that they are right. Note that I said - to convince themselves.

The friends that I was close to before were the perfect couple everyone wanted to emulate. They're both gorgeous, have strong careers and handsome children. It was a shock to everyone in the circle when we were told of their impending divorce and that they were already separated. What shocked me more was the way everything was handled.

I was closer to the guy before but I dunno, being a woman myself, I somehow have more empathy towards the woman. This is because in many many (note that I said many, not all) instances, men, no matter how nice of a person they are, always suck when it comes to dealing with a divorce. We'll see the worst of them and how magnified their egos can be. Heck, even if they have never played an active role in raising their little kids, they would nevertheless fight for the custody of the children because of spite. I've seen how the dad would just leave his kids in the care of his mom and not really bothered about the kids, and he did it because he knew the ex would be crushed without the kids. And I asked, what happened to all the love they had for each other...

The thing is, in matters like this, friends hardly question what goes on behind everything. We'd be more inclined to listen to one side and believe whatever we've seen or heard. In gatherings among friends, everyone would just talk bad about the former partner and only one or two of us would question things that do not tally.

To me, when it comes to a troubled marriage, both are at fault. There must be something that triggered such a massive decision. It may just be a small matter like the wife has been fat after giving birth or bigger problems like betrayal of trust. Everyone is just selfish these days and that they want a quick solution. The thing is, issues take time to resolve and if both are committed to the vows they've made to each other, they would have helped each other through thick and thin. And I am talking about normal issues here... not those where the spouse has been physically abused or stuff like that, ya.

I felt that the wisest thing to do was to leave them alone. Let them settle their dispute on their own because for one thing - they are adults with brains that are 100% functional. Yes, they may feel down and all but the problem lies with the both of them. It is unfair to make friends take sides especially since you've been friends with both of them. Let them think on their own. Sometimes, friends do not help calm the situation... when some start to take sides, the situation can get even worse because everyone starts adding more information and what was a small issue that can be ironed out, become bad because egos flare and everyone wants to win.

I believe that EVERY problem has a solution and it takes a calm and mature person to think rationally without anyone budding in. Like I said, no one really knows what went on in their marriage and it is totally unfair for us to just take in one side of the story.

You can be sympathetic to what they're going through and still remain by their 'side'. If any of them need help say in looking for a new place to stay or financial support, it is up to you to assist them in this time of need. You don't have to participate in bashing sessions and just be frank about not wanting to get involved in their marriage woes.

In any matters, I just do not believe that it is worth getting myself involved in others' marriage crisis. More often than not, the matters will eventually be resolved with or without you. You can be a good listener if you want, but if that makes you feel like you're betraying the other person, you can either make them understand your firm view on this matter or you could let them face this on their own until they're much calmer and more rational.

One day, they will have to understand that you are a person with principles, you're actually being a good friend by not making things worse and that they were stupid enough to not be able to deal with their own issues without getting others involved. I did just that and although the friendship was never the same again, I never regretted my decision.

There will always be repercussions in everything you do. It depends on you and what's more important to you.

A pleasant unplanned Sunday :)

2010-05-26T16:30:00.008+08:00

Last Sunday we had to force ourselves out of the apartment as TNB was doing some maintenance work at our condo and there would be a power outage from 10am-3pm.

We were pretty lazy to do anything at first since we were already out almost an entire day the day before. But... since both our pwincesh and the little munchkin cannot stand the heat these days, we knew we had to find something to do outside.

At first, we even thought of going for a 'picnic' at our poolside... you know, just to swim all day, have lunch from McD's, bask in the sun, and then swim summore... but it's fine if there were just the one and I... it wouldn't be very comfortable for little jj, though, as she'd need her nap and all.

So, by 10ish, we were out having breakfast at our favourite Restoran Subang, opposite FAM. We took our sweet time, have the car washed just behind the restaurant and just lepak. It has been awhile since we relaxed like this. Usually, we'd always be pressed for time, wanting to rush here and there trying to get as many things done as possible. It was a nice change to be able to sit, read the papers, enjoy the food and not worry about what comes next.

beautiful moments with your loved ones, must be captured on camera :)

gambar bersama 'adik' hehe...

little jj on daddy's HTC Hero. there's no SIM card in it as daddy's now hooked on his E72 ;)

We were still contemplating on 2 things... to head over to my mom's place which was just 10 minutes away or we could either head on to IOI Mall, Puchong (because we've never ever been there!) or Mines Shopping Centre because it was far and little jj could enjoy the view of the water way ala Venice or we could just go 1 Utama again because we know what we could do there. When we got into the car, the one suddenly suggested Sunway Pyramid since it is huge enough to while away time until electricity comes back on at our place and also because it has been such a long time since we went there.

So, Sunway Pyramid it was.

First up, definitely and always, the IT section. Since years back, Sunway Pyramid's IT section has always been said to be comparable to the shops at Low Yat. Thus, most of the gadgets that we own came from here, if not the Digital Mall at Section 14, PJ. The one could spend hours in this section especially if he drops by his favourite gaming shop. Heck, even choosing a suitable mouse for his netbook takes awhile before he settles for something he really likes. As for moi, my opinion doesn't really count since I am not a techie geek and have not much techie knowledge, and that my choices are always based on cosmetic factor hehe... so, yeah.. take that orange mouse because it is tiny and cute or that bright red laptop because red is gorgeous ;P then again, I am biased in some stuff like I only use Nokia phones after a not-that-great experience using the Sony Ericsson's K700i and the Motorola's Motoming, and I only use a Mac computer because I think they are the best in terms of its processing system, gorgeous factor and value for money. So, I am not much help in this department ;P

When it was almost close to lunch time, we decided to grab something for little jj since all of us are still full from the big breakfast we had earlier. I suddenly remembered my best buddy, Ai Mei, whom I met on Friday, mentioning this delectable cheese hot dog pretzel from Auntie Anne's. She said that her Jeremy loved it and I thought of giving it a try.

So, there I went, queueing up for the hot dog when the one then gave me a signal that little jj was fast asleep in her stroller hehe... grabbed an additional lemonade and snack for us all to rest our feet before embarking on our journey to dunno whichothershops.

daddy checking his email while little jj sleeps. excuse me for buying the Glamour magazine on a whim... i just cannot help it with SJP on its cover ;P

I think we scoured every single inch of the mall! hehe... oh, and I made sure to drop by one of my latest favourite outlet - Marks & Spencer. See... their clothes have always been too large for me but recently, I just discovered that their clothes sit well on my [slightly] heavier bod and their jeans/pants look so perfect on me. If you've never checked them out, you should... they have improved a lot on their designs and they do not look as boring as they did before. Then again, I think our local distributors were the ones who brought in them boring designs from the UK.

I was looking high and low for some of their collection I saw in their catalogue but was disppointed when I checked out their outlets in 1U and KLCC. What do you know... the one in Sunway Pyramid actually has a better variety in their store! Well, at least in my opinion.

The jeans and pants that I've bought in M&S are really smart for us moms with tummies because the waistband is placed so perfectly on our problem area and your tummy will not look bulgy. You know how it is with those low-waisted pants/jeans which will give you that 'spare tyre' look especially when you sit down???... hah... no more of those when I sit ;) Oh, for those of you with 'thunder-thighs', their pants and jeans will fit you well too :)

I also think that their fitting rooms are roomier here... could it be due to the fact that they are built with the Arabs in mind? I mean, we all know the nearby Sunway Resort Hotel is always a popular hangout for those from the Middle East.

an intercom in its fitting room?

Little jj had a really good sleep and woke up around 2 hours later when we were all trying out some healthy fruit concoction just a floor above the skating rink. They were giving out some free-tasting mixed fruit juice and since we were already pretty tired from walking 20km (kidding!) we decided to give them a try.

still asleep when we were on our 2nd treat...

While we were there, we even caught a couple who ordered just one drink and played a game on their respective iPhones, with each other... kind of reminded us those days when we were dating where we always played scrabble on our Palm, using the infrared to connect to each other after we've formed our words ;)

they have quite a big menu there, as you can also view in their website. it was difficult for me to choose one as they all looked very healthy and very delicious!

When little jj woke up, I fed her the hot dog and boy, did she love it... she ate 3/4 of it. I was surprised that she could really eat that much :D

It was almost 4pm when we decided to make a move. But before we left Sunway Pyramid, we went over to their babies' changing room (I love their baby room, as reviewed here before).

where can you find such a spacious changing room, with a small play area and everything else...

When we got home, the electricity was already back on and instead of continuing work, I decided to join my boys and pwincesh in the pool.

I've always been a person who likes things to be well planned according to time and specific schedules so that I could plan out when (and how long I'd need) for house chores like laundry or even work that needs to be done on the computer. But sometimes, in cases like this, it sure was fun to be able to just relax and not be restricted to time. Of course I can't do that all the time because I'd need to prioritise my tasks as I could never tell what will happen next with the baby and deadlines I've committed but it sure was welcoming to be able to just put any worries aside and deal with things as and when.

Have Fun Cooking With Rohani Jelani

2010-05-24T02:14:00.011+08:00

This is a much overdue post and I hate having to make excuses like being busy with work and the demands at home. Then again, that is the truth :|

Anyway, I have been very excited about this piece of stale news... recently (early last week, rather), I attended a cooking class by Rohani Jelani.

I found out about her when a blogger-friend wrote about her cooking lesson, visited the link that she provided and was sold instantly! ;P thanks, Izreen... the power of blogging, indeed...

Rohani Jelani is a petite bubbly personality who exudes an infectious charm. The moment that she came into the dining area where her eager students were waiting for her, I was totally enchanted by her small size and zest.

From what I read about her, she studied at the London Cordon Bleu before returning to KL and was employed in a commercial kitchen, slaving through back-breaking hours working in a large hotel. Through time, she made a switch in her career and became a resident food writer of a woman's magazine. I guess after awhile, it was a natural step for her to set up part-time cooking classes which I personally feel is a success story...

I mean, I went for a class on a Tuesday and was worried that it'd get cancelled as there is a disclaimer in her website which states that some classes may be cancelled if there are less than 4 students. It surprised me that she had a big turn up that day, 9 pax, to say the very least.

Since I am always such a stickler for time and totally hate the bad morning traffic at the LDP, I made my way a little early that day, to her beautiful resort-like cooking school in Sungai Penchala. As I was very early, the gates were still closed. Called them up and Wati, her assistant answered the phone and walahh... open sesame. Another student came just minutes after and we introduced ourselves to each other. I found out that Aishah, was to be my partner that day and we chatted non-stop. One look at her and she reminds me of my beloved cousin, Fida, who's residing in the UK for more than 10 years already *sigh... how I miss her dearly*

the pathway from the entrance leading towards the kitchen.

a neatly arranged dining table and a view of the spacious kitchen.

One-by-one the students arrived... we even had a Swiss couple who were so friendly and a reporter from the Star online, who was doing an online reporting about Bayan Indah, which not only has a spacious and airy kitchen for cooking lessons, but also accommodation facilities to those who need to get away from the hectic lifestyle and relax in its warm atmosphere (and, enjoy good food all day long!)

Rohani does her lessons according to themes. And I am not embarrassed to tell you that I enrolled in the theme, Kampung Cuisine. Yeah yeah... one may think that it is easy to whip up masak lemak and all that (and I believe I do whip up a mean dish at that) but I wanted to learn much more... I believe that cooking is an art and that one should be consistent with the quality one produces. More often than not, I work according to my gut feeling... a dash of this and a dash of that, some spoons or this and some cups of that.... I wanted much more. I wanted a proper step-by-step guide so that I do not have to worry all the time (since I am such a pain hehe...) and I would like for someone to tell me what I am doing wrong. I know that we could always learn from our moms but since my mom doesn't have specific measurements every time she cooked, I thought it would be an eye-opener to learn from the best in the industry.

That day, I chose Ayam Percik (spiced, grilled chicken), Nasi Kerabu (herb rice salad) and Masak Lemak Ayam Nenas (chicken and pineapple curry). I chose them because my family loves them compared to the other three dishes that were also listed under this theme. Aishah, my partner that day, chose Onde Onde (glutinous rice ball with palm sugar) instead of my last choice but since there weren't anyone else with similar choices to ours, we were given the option to whip up 4 dishes instead of 3. It sounded pretty okay until we were in our 2nd-3rd hour... and I'll tell you all about it later on :)

Before we started, we had a really wonderful chat with Rohani. I think she wanted us all to feel welcomed (and very welcomed, we did feel). She explained how the class will be like. She also said that many of us were first timers compared to other classes where she would have students who come by every once in awhile to take up different lessons from her over 60 themes! I could tell that Rohani loves company, she loves to be around people, she loves to talk to enthusiastic people, she loves sharing her passion for cooking with people and she's very engaging. It made me feel totally involved in what she was sharing with us all and made everyone aware of everyone else. She also explained on some of the processes and preparation that were done the way her team did and we all then grabbed an apron and a hand towel each before getting into action.

a properly arranged work-station is also key in the art of cooking.

moi holding a torch of ginger bud for the nasi kerabu...

My 'work' station was further inside and I liked that the kitchen was pretty airy... it was hot, I tell you, cooking and going here and there to whip up stuff which was explained clearly in the recipe that she provided in a folder but the atmosphere in the airy kitchen made it less stressful.

nice and airy, makes cooking so much more pleasant.

First up, we cooked Ayam Percik. I loved my partner, Aishah. I think we made a good team. There was good chemistry between us and she wasn't afraid to tell me if I had done anything I shouldn't have done. We were also both a little too cautious about the size of the flame on the stove that even though our gravy took awhile to cook, Rohani said our chicken came out beautiful :)

during the earlier stage - the preparation of the gravy...

rohani showing us how to peel the banana flower as our neighbour was doing kerabu jantung pisang.

While the chicken was cooking on the stove, we quickly went on to the next one - masak lemak nenas. Instead of chicken, we both got large prawns instead. Now, I know I always like to cook masak lemak at home and I do believe I cook it really well too... but through this lesson, I learnt the things I shouldn't do and Rohani scolded me in a joking manner on two things. Of course, I do think that if she could, she would have reprimanded me much firmly haha... but then again, she did want us all to have fun while cooking instead of being afraid to cook ;) in the end, the dish still turned out pretty tasty...

rohani thoroughly explaining how a prawn should be cut and the things that we need to have on our table top...

moi in action, frying salted fish for the nasi kerabu. aishah laughed hard when she found out i did a self-timer on my camera for this shot ;P

bending to ensure the herbs for Nasi Kerabu are chopped fine...

Next, came the ironic part.... as I mentioned earlier, my partner wanted to make Onde Onde, right... and the main reason I enrolled in this class was to learn how to make my favourite Nasi Kerabu. However, we discovered that I am not very good with knives and didn't cut the herbs as fine as how they should be cut. Therefore, Aishah took over slicing them herbs oh so finely while I had to move on with the next recipe as we only had another half hour before lunch. So.... you guessed it... I did the Onde Onde instead... and what a tedious task, as I found out later!

I know I've seen my mom done it many times before and I've even helped her put them balls into boiling water before taking it out after it floats to the top. But mannnn... I find making kuih very very cumbersome. You know, when you cook, it's like you take a little of this and that and grind and chuck them all in a wok bla bla bla... but this... the flour and the water temperature must be right to ease making a perfect dough. I was baaaaddd at that and Rohani had to add more flour and then even more because it was a total mess for me! Another student from the neighbouring group had to assist me as we were running late and Aishah had to help with the Nasi Kerabu from other groups but alas... the Onde Onde turned up ok despite all the drama. Still, if you asked me to make it again, I would give you a piercing stare. Ok?

my fat, juicy Onde Onde that tastes marvellous! ;P

Hmmm... then again, I think it must be a test from god since He knows how much the one loves Onde Onde. So I guess (and I am making a promise!!) that this year's fasting month, the Onde Onde shall come from my kitchen, not the Pasar Ramadan at Kelana Jaya hehe... *errksss*

We all then enjoyed the finale where everyone gets to taste everyone else's creations (I thought I took a picture of our Ayam Percik but that photo seem to have gone missing from my camera). We all chatted away and got to know each other even better.

moi looking oh so tired after the gruelling exercise in the kitchen haha....

Nasi Kerabu

Masak Lemak Udang & Nenas

Kerabu Jantung Pisang from another group...

Sebastian and Kaisa, shared with us their 'expensive' experience with the mangosteen over in Switzerland ;)

All in all, I truly appreciate this wonderful opportunity to learn while we expand our contacts. I think learning is a never-ending process in life and there is always so much to learn. I also admire at least one of them, who has a high-ranking position in one of our largest banks who took some time off work just so she could do the things she had always wanted to do. I mean, you may think that Kampung cuisine sounds too simple and easy for us locals but you'd be surprised how so many of us would jump at the chance of learning to prepare these dishes the proper way.

Rohani doesn't just teach us how to cook, she gave us valuable tips on preparation and presentation. It was even better that everyone was so lively and it helped even more that Rohani was quite patient with our quirks.

Aishah, Rohani & I.

They've all asked for my tips to posing in front of the camera hehe...

I came home feeling good yet highly lethargic as I kinda overdid myself after I swam for the first time in 2 years just the night before... and being on my toes for a good 3 hours in the kitchen made me hit the sack early that day.

I look forward to attending more classes from Rohani Jelani but especially her next one where I would be bringing my mom along, as a belated Mother's Day treat... that one shall be another memorable experience ;)

Reminiscing beautiful moments on this special day.

2010-05-20T23:28:00.008+08:00

Reminiscing the first poem I wrote, 1 day after that beautiful first date with the one back in 2005... how lovely the feeling of being in love, fighting the huge wave of emotions and searching for the truth in my heart. Back then, I was so afraid of falling in love again as I was disappointed for the last time and vowed that I would fight off any feelings because they will lead me nowhere.

After 2 years of getting to know each other, we were united in matrimony and today, it has been three wonderful years that's not without its ups and downs. And to think that it all started with this (this poem was posted on my previous blog in 2005)...

What is this I’m feeling
What’s going on
My heart’s throbbing hard
Like it’s ripped apart and torn
My heart’s throbbing fast
Like drum rolls and beating
I’m afraid to ask
I’m afraid to think
What are you doing to me
Why are you here
Why do you whisper sweet nothings
I’m still in fear

U came by unexpected
Not even considered
I wasn’t searching
Neither were you thinking
Though I welcome the attention
The unwarranted admiration
And I loved the company I was in
A conversation with not much expectation
The after-effect was one hard blow
To deal with it I simply do not know
The thought of you makes me oh so weak
My mind’s so messed up, I feel meek
I don’t know what else to think
Wanting to let it all go by
Trying to make it all sink
And just fly

The unanswered question
Is one I’d like to leave it at that
But the much anticipation
Had answered it all with facts
I’m afraid to look
I’m afraid to wonder
But u gave me no choice
You came around strong like thunder
Dropping a bomb at my usual asunder
Making me cringe whilst the words strung louder
Pulling me up higher and higher
I’m afraid I’d fall and get burnt by the fire

I dunno but the feeling’s marvellous
And I’d want to get drowned
In this thing that’s just so miraculous
I love the feeling that you brought upon
Because of you the spirit’s reborn
The fact that we both are not searching at all
It’s so weird how we even got to know each other
How we decided that call
And now you’ve asked for me to stay
You assured me hope
And tell me I’m no clods of clay
You’re holding on tightly at the end of the rope
I should just be myself
That I should give you a chance
This is not a game
I thought oh god… we speak the same

I’m not sure what will turn for us
There’s still excess from things of the previous
You can say what you want
But it all boils down to you
I don’t want to get hurt again
I don’t want to be blue
I know you hurt too
And seek happiness
But I’m asking you to give us time
To test our readiness
I’m not so sure that I’ve got the answer
Though this feels great I’m afraid to go deep into slumber
I’m so used to short term though I don’t want to look back
I’m still scarred from a long long fight
Listen to me, my heart’s still a wreck

Be careful what you wish for
For the wish may come true
It may be what you’re asking
But not really for you
I feel grateful for your presence in my life
And the exuberance you brought may just be a test
I still need time to let it all sink in
Just hold me tight, the battle we might win…

- written by toughcookie, 1 Sept 2005

Happy Anniversary, baby... and Alhamdulillah syukur... I am so glad to have found you in my life.

My life has changed since and I couldn't have asked for a better man.

Simple Meal Made With Love...

2010-05-20T02:30:00.003+08:00

As I've mentioned in my brief post yesterday, I shall be wearing a fake "Chef" hat for the enquiry that I am featuring in this week's Toughcookie Thursdays. I am not very sure if the question is a test to what I can feature in this column or that this person sincerely thought I could help her. So here goes...

"Dear TC,
Every morning I kena bangun awal to prepare bekal for my husband to bring to office. He's always busy working and asked that I prepare something simple for him. I suka he likes me to prepare home cooked meal but I am starting to feel that I should prepare something healthy for him. You rasa boleh tolong suggest something good and tak susah nak prepare tak?"

I like this question because I always love a healthy meal, simply because I hardly exercise and that as a wife and mom, it is my duty to encourage a healthy diet in the family. Plus, since being at home forces me to be creative with the food that I prepare, I have come up with something simple, healthy, yet tasty and very quick to prepare. As you didn't specify what your husband likes to eat, I am going to answer your question based on my understanding on what you're looking for - a healthy fix that's easy to make.

Firstly, the ingredients... it is good to have these items in check as they totally would make preparing easier and the end product, tasty too...

clockwise from most left: triple washed salad, loaf of bread, sweet relish, mayonnaise, aluminium foil, turkey/chicken toast and cheese :)

I would suggest using the triple washed salad (there is a 7-leaf type and a 12-leaf type) because you do not need to wash them. Just cut off the packet, pull out them leaves and they're ready to eat. And if you're an environmental-friendly person, you may want to just use a food container instead of the aluminium foil. I like aluminium foil as it makes things easier for your husband so that he does not need to clean up the food container and then forget to bring it home...

As for the chicken/turkey toast, you can find them around the meat/chicken section of the supermarket. They come sliced in a frozen pack and they are ready to eat cold.

Spread the aluminium foil and place bread at the center.

Take out some leaves from the packet of salad and squeeze out some mayo. If you want a healthier choice, you may want to get the light version of mayo or you can even skip this step entirely because I can assure you, it tastes just as good without mayo.

Place chicken toast (or you can choose turkey for a healthier choice) and put some sweet relish on top of it for a sweet mild sour-y taste. I love how it complements the salty taste of mayo and cheese. Just a little will do.

I would skip this too if you think cheese is fattening. But then again, you can choose a low-fat version because I still think the calcium content outweighs everything else.

Andd... you're done! Wrap it up nicely...

Now, for some useful tips to keep it quick and easy, and also paying attention to details to keep the romance going ;P

What I'd do with the chicken/turkey toast after bringing them home from my grocery shopping is to layer them one-by-one with baking paper (you can get them in rolls packed just like the aluminium foil and microwave plastic sheets). Baking paper will prevent the slices from sticking to each other. Therefore, just in case you had forgotten to take them out from the freezer the night before and don't have time to defrost them, you can just separate them nicely from each other, hassle-free! Furthermore, the frozen slice would help maintain a low temperature for the salad and by lunch time, the sandwich would be just perfect...

This is something I'd like to do for my loved ones... you can pack the sandwich inside these cute plastic bags and seal them with lovely stickers. It may look childish to you but you would be surprised how your hubby would secretly appreciate this cute gesture.... oh, don't forget some paper napkins for him too.

Here, is a sticker that says, "Made with love". You could even get your hands on some white rectangular sticker for labels that you can just imprint your lips with your sexiest lipstick colour and walah... your husband shall smile and think of you while he has this healthy and tasty meal made especially for him.

If you have more time to prepare, you could even add onions and slices of tomatoes into the sandwich but it could be a little messy for him to eat when he wants a quick bite.

So, there you go... simple, quick, healthy and easy. Some may say it's a lazy way of doing things but hey... if there's a simpler way to create something healthy and tasty, and your loved ones are not picky about what they want to eat, I say, this is a meal made with love...

P/S: The 'recipe' and tips are as original as can be, as they are concocted from simple common sense on love, family, health, etc. If you've seen someone else do exactly like the methods above, it may either be a strange coincidence or the person is as smart, loving and considerate like Madame Toughcookie ;P

Need more energy for tonight.

2010-05-19T13:55:00.006+08:00

Due to Toughcookie Thursdays, I have received much more enquiries than I had ever gotten... no longer are people sharing their views on matters of the heart or those pertaining to breastfeeding but I have also started to wear hats that say, "Information Counter", "Shopping Consultant" and recently, "Technical Consultant", among others hehe...

I had a long long day yesterday and was terribly lethargic in the evening. I think I may have over exert myself since I swam so diligently the night before but slept only after midnight as I was trying to finish up work and that swimming always gave me a boost of energy after a nice warm shower. Therefore, I guess I may have used up too much energy when I should have taken it slow and easy.

Woke up early yesterday to attend a cooking class I so wanted to go and I came home slumped. I'll write more of it later. Suffice to say that a rigorous swim after not exercising for 2 years plus being on my toes for 4-5 hours cooking, totally drained me, but in a good way.

So, for tomorrow, I shall be wearing a fake "Chef" hat for Toughcookie Thursdays which doesn't involve anything I learnt yesterday ;P

And tonight, I shall embark on my new fitness regime for the second time and I am so hoping that it'll stop raining (if it does) before 9pm *oh please please pretty please*

This Toughcookie exercised after 2 years!

2010-05-17T23:56:00.005+08:00

Oh, I am telling you, it feels great to be able to do something good for yourself... and that doesn't involve a big hole in your pocket. Well, a small teensy weensy damage but nothing worrying ;)

See, I've been wanting to go back swimming for the longest time. The last time I swam was when little jj was about 8 months in my tummy. I was heavy but I floated gracefully ;P

I've always believed in the power of swimming. It must be my best strength training yet because firstly, I never could commit going to the gym regularly. The most was 2 months straight and after that, I kept paying the monthly fees without even showing my face at the gym. Secondly, I just hate the stress of looking for parking and now that there are much more commitments at home, I don't think I have the time. Thirdly, you practically do not sweat from swimming and you can even run in the pool where the heavy load of water makes it a perfect resistance to your movements, making you use most part of your muscles. And when you're tired, you could just lie on your back and float in the pool, with the calming sound of water around you. It's so relaxing.

The best part about staying in a condo is the ability to use the swimming pool. I have always loved the water... since young I always had an ambition to be like our then national swimmer, Nurul Huda Abdullah, who kept winning golds in SEA Games and all. I swam so much that my shoulders became much broader than normal girls my height. But, that ambition became just a dream as I wasn't as fast as most people in swimming. But swimming has always been a part of my life and I just cannot look at a swimming pool without the urge of jumping into it ;P

I haven't been swimming since the baby was born partly because I had difficulties to handle the demands of a breastfeeding baby and loads of work day and night. Partly too because I had body issues... I was still on the chubby side and didn't feel all that comfortable with the way I looked. Of course, these things come in a phase and I managed to get out of it after about a year as little jj drank less from me and my appetite started to be more manageable as I become less hungry. Still, I have always dreamt of getting back into shape and there are no better shortcuts (and cheaper too!) than to swim. I figured out, even with work to be done at night, I could slot in swimming for at least an hour every alternate days so that I have more energy after the exercise and that no one will see my bulges/stretch marks at night. Haha but as usual, there are those excuses after excuses especially since the pool at our condo is ice cold at night.

But but but... seeing another friend my age all geared up to lead a healthier lifestyle (and to obtain a leaner body), I suddenly felt so motivated to actually get off my butt instead of complain and feel bad about myself. I mean, you can't keep on blaming the entire world on your issues and there are things that you need to take control because they are all under your control, really.

I digress.

Yesterday, I put on my old swimming gear that I haven't worn in years and it was so difficult to get in and out of it. But I persevered. I needed to swim.

I got out of the apartment, went downstairs and headed to the pool when I realised it was pouring. Heavy rain, in fact. Damn... it was already so difficult to fight with the inner voice inside my head as it kept telling me to rest at home... that I had so much work to do... and that I could just swim the next day but I fought hard with it... and was totally frustrated at the outcome. It was too dangerous to swim and I did not want to get sick. I guess that is a legal excuse, isn't it?

So worried that it would put off this spirit in me, I kept thinking about Dilla who's on her way to a better self and off I went to get a new bathing suit which I got for only RM58 after a 50% discount. I thought that was a real good sign for me and there I was, happily swimming away after I had cooked dinner for my angels and fed little jj her dinner.

At first I only did half a lap... and then 1 lap non-stop at the swimming pool that's probably half the size of an olympic pool. I then did 2 laps non-stop, enjoyed the peace and serenity and then surprised myself with a possible 7 laps non-stop for 20 minutes (I lost count on how many laps I actually did). I did a relaxingly slow front crawl all the way so that I didn't use too much of my energy and I forced myself to stop so that I didn't over exert myself as I had plenty of things to do tomorrow... can't afford any cramps in my muscles.

After I was done, I went back upstairs and made sure to take some photos of those flabs to see how far I'd go from tonight.

"Would it be too ambitious to aim that I would fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes by my 25th *ahem* birthday this December? Can I?"

We shall see...

I guess it all takes some little courage to just get up and go do what you've always known you had to do. Once you have gone past that hurdle, it would give you enough strength to keep going, InsyaAllah...

Thanks, Dilla... you don't know what a big influence you had on me.

Do You Really Know Where Your Kids Are?

2010-05-14T07:40:00.007+08:00

I just dropped my eldest at school earlier on... everyone in his school is supposed to attend their Teachers' Day do in the morning, including those sitting in the afternoon session. He told me that attendance was compulsory but many of his friends weren't attending. Therefore, I asked him if he wanted to go.

Well, I guess knowing that friends are getting more important in his life now, he definitely felt he needed to go to school. So, off we went and I saw that the school was still pretty empty. What worried me was when I saw a couple (this boy and a girl) leaving the school compound, looking back over their shoulders as if trying to make sure that their parents (maybe?) didn't see them while they walked out probably going out on a date.

*gosh*

I mean, I would rather that my kids run back home instead of sneak out like that.. aren't they too young to go out together?

But then again, times have changed and I wouldn't want to control my kids from wanting to explore making friends and socialising since I myself grew up feeling awkward since I was overly protected by my parents and didn't get to go out with friends until I finished my SPM exams. In the end, I wasn't smart in my social skills and was too trusting of people.

But but but... I would be really worried if my children would sneak out on a school day. I mean, I would at least expect them to tell me that they do not wish to go to school (in events like today) and would want to hang out with friends who weren't going to school. Of course, which parents would allow that, huh? Yeah... maybe not... guess that was why those two kids sneaked out.

Oh, I dunno... hanging out with the right circle of friends is so important. At least back then, I didn't have friends who taught me to lie to my parents and they never pressured me into going out with them. Nowadays, I feel the need to get to know the parents whose children are friends with my eldest but sadly, many of them are not even aware of their kids' wellbeing, or so they say about their parents.

My only hope if my son does that in the future is for him to be able to make the right decisions for him and the girl he's out with, to just make it an innocent outing at McD's and ice cream afterwards, and then head back in time for school to end. But then again, as they say, one starts with innocent moments like this for it to develop into something more experimental which may or may not get out of hand. Oh, I am now, SUPER SCARED.

Is there a Being A Good Parent for Dummies guide? Gosh... this is one stage where I need to learn quick...

1 Superkids Do.

2010-05-14T00:44:00.018+08:00

I was at the 1SK gathering recently and it was so good to be able to see friends I've accustomed with in the blogworld, again :)

Frankly, in the earlier communications between SK and MBP, I had the impression that us Ambassadors are not obligated to volunteer as the committee member for this event. Thus, I kinda took things for granted until I saw the online banner with MBP's logo next to SK. Since I am, part of MBP, I told the one that this is one event that I would need to attend.

I arrived an hour late because we tried getting our little pwincesh to take her nap so that we can avoid any cranky scenes at the event. But, after failing to coax her to sleep, we decided to make our way albeit the heavy rain.

All the way, even before we left the apartment, the one was complaining about the destination that's not even listed in the GPS. As I am useless with maps, we got lost in search of the place in Puchong and arrived just as the rain subsided...

CikLilyPutih and Nia were busy working when I arrived :)

I had to ask some people where the registration table was and thank god I saw some familiar faces... Cik Fid and Cik Lily were on hand to receive guests, and they were drenched in probably rain + sweat. Kesian pulak tengok... but they are hardworking people and I applaud their perseverance despite the lack of proper registration area and chairs for them to sit.

Cik Fid... kenapa muka macam tak puas hati je tu hehe... ;P

I was also surprised to bump into a dear friend, who once was probably my biggest enemy in school. Yeah yeah... we've gone past that immaturity, admitted our foolishness and now appreciate the rekindled friendship since about a year ago... I guess when you've already seen the worst of each other, there's nothing else to hide from one another. That may be a good recipe for a strong friendship, don't you think?

This is Yanti but I call her, Mario, which is also part of her real name :)

Mira and I at her booth.. oh, if you are wondering, that's not a bun on top of my head ok... there's someone at the back ;P

I also met Mira, who took a booth that day. We got to know each other at the FRISO event late last year and have remained blog-friends since. Sayang she didn't have her handsome Emir with her, though, since she needed to work at the booth... there won't be any place suitable for him to rest anyway. *suddenly remembered our MBP 1st anniversary do not too long ago, where babies and toddlers were able to sleep soundly on picnic mats under a relaxing breeze*

After awhile and feeling a little 'lost' at the venue, I decided to check out the place. Although I had the impression that it was to be a family gathering, there were many activities that were held concurrently in the 2-storey shoplot and I guess because of the separate areas for each activity, I was a little confused as to the programmes that were running or will be held. There were so many people and since the place was not baby and stroller-friendly, we weren't able to push little jj who's sound asleep in her stroller, up. So, the one waited downstairs minding his own business while I went up to check out the activities.

The first floor was packed with people listening to talks on baby-wearing on one section and how to don the tudung in another section.

I guess the second floor held a more fun-filled activity for the kids and I could tell that they were extremely happy being entertained by clowns despite the room being so dense and hot like sauna.

Since I only arrived around 3.30pm when the event supposedly started at 2pm, I may have missed out on the Playhouse Disney feature. What was featured from them aside from the goodie bags? Were there any characters from Disney who came by that day?

the clowns were amazing and I shall elaborate more later ;P

caught Kak Ros all sweaty and tired, and managed to catch up with Belle again :)

As it was hot hot hot up here, a lot of us went downstairs after awhile. But this was where the fun truly started for us (my family, I mean...). Well, little jj finally got up from her beauty nap and we adjourned to the F&B tent so that I could feed her some food which I brought from home.

While I was busy feeding her, I was so happy to bump into my coursemate in uni, Eizan, who's the Editor of NUR magazine. I almost didn't recognise her and so glad that she waved to me... I am so proud of her achievement and it was so good to be able to catch up with her... NUR did a demonstration on how to don the tudung earlier on. There was also a complimentary issue from NUR in the goodie bag and I became much more interested in the magazine after finding out that she's the editor! Oh, I must read the magazine from now on... the content looks quite interesting...

After awhile, the 2 clowns that were hired for the event came by the tent and entertained the kids there by doing fun things with the balloons. We even chatted a little and started making silly jokes with them. Soon as we knew it, one of the clowns started asking some silly questions for the small audience to answer correctly. Balloons were given to those who could give them the correct answers ;P

I think Tifa's Farhan got one of the nicer crafted balloons in a form of a puppy riding a bike while little jj only managed to get a kitty balloon hehe...

little jj couldn't stand seeing the foot pump while daddy tried many attempts to answer the mind-boggling question thrown by the clowns...

little jj really was mesmerised by the pump from the start...

see where her foot was placed?? ;P

totally oblivious to what the clowns were doing and not afraid of them at all hehe... that's my girl!!

this was the best balloon towards the end of the event, when so many attempts to answer a question failed until hubby dearest became the most loyar buruk guest who attended the event that day and answered the question with flying colours ;P

All in all, the clowns saved the day for us. I guess I missed out on the opportunity to meet 50 of the best bloggers according to InTrend (which was part of the feature listed on 1SK invitation) and I didn't get to see any launch gimmick for the 1SK Club nor found anyone who could explain to me what the club offers to its members... ish buat malu je ambassador tak tahu all these info. Sorry folks... as I said earlier, I probably misunderstood the initial communications regarding MBP's involvement in this event. All the committee were super duper busy and looking for someone who's not preoccupied with something else was difficult since all of them seem to be running around everywhere. But... I felt glad that we all managed to say our hi's and ho's even if it was done super quick :D

Still, I expected that there were much more activities that promote togetherness rather than kids and adults being involved in activities individually. Then again, I guess us parents would be just happy knowing that our kids had a great time. Well, little jj loved the clowns because she simply loves balloons; my eldest enjoyed the magic show the clowns did upstairs; my the one had his perasan dose karaokeing (yup! that he did...) while I, I had a great time being able to catch up with friends be it blogger buddies, acquaintances and old friends.

I am especially touched that Cik Lily gave this to me at the end of the event. I was admiring this pinned on her t-shirt. Thank you so much, Cik Lily :)

I appreciate it so much that I turned it into an accessory for my E72. lovely ;)

Did any of you manage to make it to the event?

What I Need To Be A SAHM.

2010-05-13T00:50:00.001+08:00

"...so many things have been happening at work and the urge to quit working to be a SAHM is getting stronger. The only thing is I am afraid I will not be able to sustain my lifestyle if I just stay home and take care of the kids. How do I start a business? I need to work something out, so that I can generate some income while staying home with the kids. I get so jealous reading about your experience working at home and seeing your children grow up in front of you."

Toughcookie says:

First of all, the grass always look greener on the other side. Before you make such a decision, why don't you try it for at least a month or two. This is because, many SAHM have told me that they hate looking at themselves at home as they no longer have 'ME' time. A handful of working moms who've tried being a SAHM had also admitted to me that getting out of the house to work is like an escapism for them... they can be more relaxed outside of the house rather than screaming at the top of their lungs day in day out dealing with their kids and they are also able to go for coffee breaks and long lunches while gossiping or shopping without the kids clinging to their pair of legs.

As for me, I had always thought of myself a successful career woman. But I guess, I do feel burnt out after working hard every single day since the day after my final exams in Uni. Lucky me, I have a husband who works in an organisation with sufficient medical coverage for our family and I guess that was part of the encouraging factor for me to pursue taking a break for at least 6 months after the baby was born, or so I thought.

Well, frankly, I love being at home because my work required me to work long hours... and I had to travel at least a week of every month. I couldn't see myself separating from the family and truthfully, I became lazy ever since I found a man who pampered me the way no other man did. So, making that decision was not very difficult.

During the initial stage, though, you'd somehow feel a little inferior about yourself especially if you have friends who've kinda made it in their career. I found that I had to explain to people that I used to head a department in a public listed company (and made sure I emphasised that the department held responsibilities at 'group' level) just so that I would be taken more seriously and not be perceived negatively as a tai tai. Of course, I realised I am out of this inferiority stage as I no longer felt the need to tell an old friend whom I recently bumped into of this fact when she raved about how a former classmate is now a manager of a private limited company. So, I guess one would need to go through this initial stage until it wears off.

Initially too, as much as I liked how we were leading our life, there were many decisions that we needed to make especially in terms of our financials in order for us to lead an 'easy life'... what I meant by 'easy life' is a life that's not filled with so much debt just because we want to 'look good' all the time. Therefore, we needed to make some sacrifices so that I could still do some bits of shopping for the kids every now and then, that we could still enjoy eating out at the places we love to hang out and we made sure there's some emergency stash for well... emergencies.

As for you sustaining your current lifestyle, I can vouch that your expenses on yourself will slow down immensely when you've stopped working. I am not sure about the majority of SAHM's out there but I have spoken to some friends of mine who shared the same view - that they didn't need to shop that much anymore since they're always in their t-shirts and sweatpants. For me, I didn't feel that I needed to look smashing all the time, I hardly wear make up unless I'm out with the one and I've been wearing my very comfy pregnancy shoes almost everywhere I went. Of course, nowadays I do make it a point to look good because one year of staying chubby and plain became a little boring to me :) but I am still wearing them shoes from Scholl because they are so comfortable! So, when I think of this, yes, you'd be making some sacrifices in the beginning but things will turn out well in time... I believe so :)

I think when you've decided such a thing - to stop working, you must talk this over with your other half on what he expects out of you and what you both are willing to compromise. It can be a little depressing at times when you feel like there's no other way to cut yourself into 10 parts and still be useful to your family but all that can go away when you have a supportive and understanding partner. A lot of people think this SAHM is an easy peasy role (some even think it's a no brainer!) and it can get a little challenging having to explain how tiring it can be (and sometimes even worthless to get into this argument with people) so, it helps if your other half does not think of it that way and thinks of you as a strong contributor to the family.

As for doing business, what is it that you like to do? It's no point getting into a business for the sake of doing business. Doing something you like can ensure its sustainability and viability. It won't be a smooth start but your passion will keep it going, while you maintain your priorities to your family. All I can say is that the possibilities are endless. Once you're out of the rat race, your mind will think of stuff you'd never think of. Some people say my optimism is due to my business-minded nature. Truthfully, I was never business-minded but the fact that I would like to have my own pocket money to spend as I like, the mind starts to get very creative all the time and you'll see plenty of things as an opportunity to make money. Well... you'll think of something....

Sometimes, things will not turn out the way you planned and I don't think one should be very rigid. At first, I bought a sewing machine and an edging machine to start a sewing project but the projects never got through and I found myself doing writing and translation jobs for old contacts. I even took some part time sewing lessons just so that I keep myself abreast with the latest technology, techniques and tools to start up a tailoring business but as it turned out, the person who impart her sewing knowledge to me became one of my clients ;)

Therefore, one will never know what one's potential is in business until one starts doing something. Just do something and open your eyes and mind to any possibilities.

I hope my explanation is satisfactory to you and I wish you all the best of luck. It all boils down to how determined you are and you can start finding out if you are going to be happy staying home by taking small steps at a time. One shouldn't be hasty about taking this big step especially if you're so used to working. However, I do think that as much as being a SAHM can be pretty tiring, frustrating at times and not a glorified job, the non-monetary benefits do make me feel extremely happy and highly rewarded. Don't give up that easily when times are hard and it always helps to keep a positive mind.

Tagged!

2010-05-11T11:05:00.002+08:00

I received this award from this beautiful blogger and am now passing this on to those bloggers whom I think deserve this Sunshine award - for providing some warmth and cheerful atmosphere in this blogworld :)

In no particular order, they are:

1. Amy

2. Dilla

3. Azmir

4. Fid

5. Cik Lily

6. Nia

7. Kak Ros

8. Aieen

9. Sarc

10. Siti

11. Mario

12. Konot

Uiihhh... ramainya kena tag. Penat nak kena fikir ;P

Whatever it is, this is an award you can show off on your blog and you are not obligated to do this tag, if you do not wish to. But it does feel great to receive awards like this, no??...

If you do decide to pass it on, here are the rules:

i. Nominate 12 more bloggers.

ii. Put the logo onto your sidebar or within a post.

iii. Link the nominees within your post.

iv. Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their respective blogs.

v. Share the love and link to the person from whom you have received the award.

Thanks, Chech, for sharing this award with me ;)

Another award I received came from two warm bloggers, Amy and Dilla.

And now, to tell everyone 7 facts about me that people don't already know. Hmmm... that's tough because after blogging actively for 5 years and putting my personal stuff on public mode, it is a little difficult to think of what other 7 things which I haven't yet wrote about.... plus, I've done something similar here and here before.

So, let's see... oh, okay... maybe there are other newer stuff that people do not know of me:

Work after family. As much as I love what I do, my priority is my family. I would only accept work after I am sure that it doesn't interrupt my time with my family. I'm tired of managing egos and making people look good because many a times, the reward isn't worth my time. Therefore, as much as I'd like the additional income, I prefer work that I can do from home while I manage time with my family and making them happy.
Detachment from my mobile. Yes, I used to have 2 phones when I was in employment. I hated the fact that I was obligated to answer phone calls immediately at any time of the day, even on midnights. Now that I work from home and family comes first, I am proud to be able to detach my 'soul' from the mobile phone, so much so that I don't feel the least bit lost or disturbed if I forgot where I put it or if its battery goes flat. I don't understand why people feel the need to answer the phone at all times especially during dinner with the family or at a family celebration or even while carrying their baby and I totally detest people who disturb others on work matters either on a Friday or Sunday night, as if those things cannot wait until the next morning. I've been in employment before. I say, work smart la... when you work, you work; when you're with your family, you're with your family. Unless of course, you need to secure this $5 billion deal that no one else in the office can make happen except for you and you alone.
I hate women or men who share their married-life issues with the opposite sex. Like hello... ladies, don't you have your girlfriends (or even your mom!) whom you can share your masalah rumahtangga with? And men... why must you tell a woman that your wife is as boring as a piece of wood? I mean come on... the only reason you're telling the opposite sex is because you want some attention, some words of consolation to of course make you feel so blardy good and you aren't definitely looking for any solutions or else you would only only share it with one or two of your bestest buddies of the same gender. Lepas tu, you would cry foul as if you're the victim because what you did was pure harmless. Like bull shitlah.... come on lah. Booooringgggg... next!
I've always been misunderstood all my life. When I was younger in school, girls would hate me because I made myself look Ms Goody 2 Shoes. Hey, I can't help it... my parents never let me out of the house on my own until I was 18, when I had my first date after SPM okeh? In school, a lot of girls thought I was after their boyfriends because well, their boyfriends just happen to like talking to me (yeah yeah...). Too bad lah if they give me the attention. Now, those who hate me would hate me because I would give my views truthfully, and the truth hurts. *sigh* but... I don't feel deterred by it because I know those around me - my family and close friends understand me well and I don't need to explain myself further.
My dad used to call me, Chomel (haha!!). He would call me that like you would call your cat, Comel. He would call me that anywhere we went, and at any time... even in my birthday cards from him, he would write, "Dear Chomel" using the old bahasa spelling. The reason he stopped calling me that was because I was embarrassed when my dorm mates in high school saw the birthday card he gave me ;P
I am very strict when it comes to time. If you say you're gonna meet me at 2.30pm, please already be there at 2.30pm. Just because I am a WAHM, doesn't mean that I can relax all the time and have the benefit of free time at all times. I find that many people lack the discipline in being punctual and that this quality is becoming scarce in our society. I feel that one should manage their time and schedule properly, have the decency to inform those you're meeting that you'll be late (in case of sudden traffic jam due to accident or whatever unintentional/unplanned like your baby's still asleep or you just dropped your mom home) and most importantly, never ever be ignorant about others when it comes to timing - don't ever think that people should always wait for you or assume that there is still plenty of time remaining for whatever else. You don't really know what will happen the next minute.
I dislike assuming things at face value though as humans, there are tendencies for error in judgement at times. Not everything is what it seems and one should really not judge a book by its cover. Don't ever think people had it easy when you see someone successful... you don't really know what a person had to endure in order to be that successful. Don't ever think that a cheerful person is always happy inside and don't ever assume that one who is cold and brash is a cruel person. Don't just take in what someone tells you as the truth because one should really see things in a bigger picture. You have a brain, right? Use it. Don't be quick to judge when one gives you an innocent look because you'd never know their true intentions. And don't be quick to give a helping hand because you'll never know when they'll bite you or your family back after they're out of the doldrums.

How's that?? And now, I am supposed to tag 7 bloggers. But I guess I shall not because coming up with the 12 bloggers in the first tag was tedious enough.

So, you who's reading this... you're tagged! :D

It's tough being a mom, yet tougher as a good mom.

2010-05-09T01:04:00.008+08:00

It has been a very tiring day today (Saturday)... all of us in the family had quite a full day, starting as early as 7.45am til almost 10pm just now and this toughcookie fell asleep unintentionally only to be sharply awaken by little jj who badly needed the attention from someone. Well, my 13-year old was busy on the net while daddy was engrossed with his PS3 and I guess the only fair thing to do was to wake mommy up as mommy will do anything to keep her happy.

I woke up, gave her the much deserved attention and passed her back to daddy while I finally get to do laundry at such a late hour. In a situation like this, we all do what we have to do, don't we?

Anyways, this got me to thinking about Mothers' Day tomorrow (or today, rather, as this post was drafted just before midnight prior to Mothers' Day). Now, whomever says that mommies are allowed the same benefit as those in employment during Labour Day? Which mommy can tell me if they really are granted an off day, like totally, 100% - no cleaning, no cooking, no tending to any members of the family, nothing... anyone?

It's never easy being a mom, and it is even more difficult to be a good mom....

A good mom doesn't just deliver a baby into the world and raise the baby up hoping that they'd be a successful person automatically... a good mom does much more beyond taking care of their kids. A good mom tends to the family, put everyone else's needs before hers, raise her children up well to be a human of strong character, tell them frankly if they have made a mistake so that they would be a better person and be sure to support them in times of need. A good mom would not be afraid to let her kids know who's boss yet allow her kids to develop into who they want to be even with some pressure put on them because she has experienced it all before and does not wish to have her kids go through life's tough lesson the hard way.

I am not sure how good of a mom I've been so far... but I do know that I've worked very hard to support my family even during those 7 years of life as a single mom, raising a child with ADHD and Dyslexia, so that I could afford the therapy bills and additional classes for my growing child's needs. I would so want to be a good mom but seeing how different my 13-year old is now that he's in a stage where his friends seem to be more important than family, I would want to learn how other moms with grown up sons handle their teenage needs and how tough it is to want to be firm and tough without putting too much pressure on them.

It's never an easy task being a parent, not just for a mom. But since I am on the topic of Mothers' Day, allow me to just indulge in my emotional rush via this form of expression that I know best - writing.

I think I started to fully appreciate my mom as my mom when I got my first child. I suddenly realised the sacrifices that she had to go through, especially having us kids who didn't necessarily made her entirely happy. Yes, she has her weaknesses where our personality clashes like nobody's business and yes, we had our heated moments back then. Heck, there were too many disagreements especially on my way of life, the decisions that I made and so forth that made our relationship a little tense at one point in time, but I've realised that she has not been a mother who's not good.

Having a teenage child and one baby who clings on me constantly, I realised that my mom, despite whatever situation we're in, would always not fail to remind me that she's my mother, so that I will never lose ground.

I realised that despite whatever challenges that went her way, she would never lose sight of her children, bring us all back into what's real, nags all she wants if she feels she needs to, make us hate being in that situation if the situation calls for it yet at the end of the day, we all know that all was done because of her love for her children and her children are hers for an entire lifetime. No mother would want their kids to suffer through life yet no good mothers would want their kids to not learn their lessons after a bad fall, either.

It's never easy being a mother, as I have recently realised after some bouts of crisis, and even harder being a good mother.

A good mother does not need to be afraid to correct the wrong yet admit that she has made a mistake, and lower her ego all in the name of love. A good mother doesn't protect her kids who have done grave mistakes while she reprimands those who truly love her, who does whatever it takes for her and constantly thinks only of her feelings. I mean, what good does it do to mistreat the better children only to protect those bad apples because a good mom would know that that will never solve the problem, and the individual will never learn her lesson.

A good mother doesn't go against her word just for her convenience but demonstrate equal respect to all her kids because she knows that respect is earned and that she would want her kids to respect and love her, not only because it's her rights as a mom.

A good mother is able to tolerate life's challenges because she, of all people, would understand more about life while her kids are still only less than half of her age, who still needs time to learn while they tread the rough pathways of life and that they need all the guidance they can get unconditionally, not being treated second class just because they are willing to put up with everything in order to learn and be a better person.

Yes, it is hard being a mother, and more so, being a good mother.

I am still learning especially in this recent development dealing with a growing boy-turning-into-a- young man who sometimes rebel and unsure of what he needs to do or where he should step. A good mother will not let her child get lost and bring him back with proper guidance.

As much as I had so much resentments with how my mother handled me before - of how overly protective she was of me in my teenage years, so much so that I couldn't even go out with my friends until I've completed my SPM exams... I couldn't understand why I needed to be chauffeured driven everywhere I went and why I was constantly reminded to take good care of myself, as if I didn't already know of that particular fact.

The truth is, as much as it sounded really irritating - of her repeating to me constantly to take good care of myself, I guess I now am so thankful for that constant nagging as I now know that she loves me that much to be so worried of me and afraid that I'd lose myself in the beauty of life as a grown lady.

Mak, is a conservative woman who didn't bother much about being a friend to her daughter because she felt that discipline and doing everything proper, according to her style was the way to raise her children. It was a stressful life being a teenager under her roof and I never understood her style fully.

Now that I am a mother myself, I am exhumed with total relief that she raised me the way she did as all her qualities of a good mom suddenly became so clear to me...

Yes, being a good mom is not very easy but that her ways of raising her children made us who we are today, prevented us from making any irreversible life mistakes that could ruin our future but most of all, ensuring that her kids do not take her for granted. She's firm and she's an even tougher cookie compared to me but after 34 years of my life, I suddenly realised that she had at least tried to be a good mom. No matter how difficult her children once thought life was under her roof, we all could now safely testify that after having kids of our own, and going through life one day at a time, we are truly grateful to be born in that family and to have her as our mother.

She is a remarkable mother and I deem her, a good mother.

It ain't easy being a good mother, but she has been one damn good mother.

There is no need to pretend in our family and there isn't any need to be manipulative to get what we want. Everything is done in a straight-forward manner and honesty becomes a very important factor for the family to remain strong albeit with the many weaknesses.

Now that I have kids of my own, I would like to take all the positive things that she's taught us. I vow to never lose sight of what's important for my kids that whatever I do or the decisions that I make for them (while they are under this same roof or not), will be for their benefit in the long run. I know I would need to be strong to face resistance from my kids if they find it hard to understand why I do the things I do because I know, 10-20 years down the road, they will be in my shoes now, looking back and realising that yes... it is difficult being a mom, but mommy was definitely a good mom.

i love you, mak... and i'm glad i got the chance to tell you that.

Happy Mothers' Day.

First visit to Sunway Giza

2010-05-08T08:03:00.001+08:00

Last weekend, we decided to check out a new mall, Sunway Giza, located at Sunway Damansara. I've been to the area several times before when it was still under construction and since we've heard that it has now open, we thought it would be a good idea to check it out.

the one giving one of his signature poses after we parked our car opposite the entrance ;P

As it was just open, parking was still FOC and getting a parking space was a breeze. First impression - the place is so spacious with a unique layout. The open space area is so spacious and although it was a hot hot day, the area was pretty airy with the presence of gigantic fans on their high ceiling.

Further inside, there's a door into the mall area and my eyes instantly caught on two outlets - Baskin Robbins (hehe...) and Village Grocer (I can seriously get lost in this place I call, mommy's haven *grins*).

Now, I hardly frequent the Village Grocer at Bangsar Village because it is just so out of the way for me but I love the variation that's available. Now that there is one in Damansara, I foresee myself checking out this place more often. I think it is probably an even bigger outlet and its selection abundant.

I got jakun in this aisle. Just look at the middle shelf where they have a selection of fresh herbs all nicely packed with clear labels stating what they are best suited for. For instance, the pack with Thyme, Rosemary and Celery Leaf is best used on Red Meat Dishes while the pack with Lemon Balm, Peppermint and Mint is best suited for Drinks, Coulis & Desserts.

Heck, I even found a special pack of all the necessary fresh ingredients one needs to concoct a tom yam dish! Therefore, there's no need for all those tom yam stock cubes that are filled with preservatives and whatnot...

This is also my favourite section. I went crazy with the many types of salads to choose from!

I've always been intrigued with spices and what they are good for. Though I hardly buy much except for turmeric, curry powder, paprika, peppercorns and garlic & onion mix, I would always act like an excited little girl who's totally attracted by all these colourful playstuff with various textures and shapes.

how many types of olives can you spot??

I've seen 2L olive oil at Cold Storage BSC outlet, but this 5L caught my eye because it is relatively cheaper than buying 1L-2L bottles constantly. However, since I saw in one of the AFC programmes that say Extra Virgin Olive Oil (or as Rachael Ray would call it, EVOO) is not very suitable for cooking on high temperature, it would be useless for us to take one can of this. The other option was labelled as Olive Pomace Oil and we didn't know what it was so we refrained from getting it as well ;P hmmm... isn't there one that says, Pure Olive Oil?

We brought sandwiches that day as we didn't know what to expect in this new place. We didn't even get to google it because it was an unplanned trip. But as any new place, the mall is very clean. The ambience feels very airy and has a positive feel to it.

My first impression of Sunway Giza, is that it probably is trying to capture an affluent crowd much like those we see in BSC and Bangsar Village, though it still lacks shopping-wise. Still, like any shopping malls, they probably thought having a variety of cafes and restaurants would be a sure-win factor since Malaysians are well known to be very adventurous in trying out new tastes and experiences when it comes to food. Thus, one can find a decent array of food outlets to whet one's appetite.

daddy with his little princess while mama enjoys delicious cookies and cream cone from BR ;)

Little jj had a good time running around the spacious indoor open area, and we're truly thankful to someone's maid who tried all her might to untie a balloon from the balloon arch. All the balloons were tied together in several groups of balloons and it was so difficult to look for one that's not entangled with the others.

A shot taken on our drive back

All in all, it was a good experience. We enjoyed the visit even more seeing how much little jj enjoyed herself there (also allowing her to get herself tired so that she could go to bed earlier!) ;)

More info can be found on Sunway Giza's official website.

My Mission: Test and Review

2010-05-07T15:59:00.005+08:00

As per my previous post, the package arrived today! *yeayy*

Maybelline Color Sensational in Buff.

I am so excited to try it out... have opened it and seen the colour but I shall let the owner of the blog, My Women Stuff, to feature the story first.

Thank you, Paris, for this opportunity. And thanks for the lovely surprise in the package :)

How to wean baby off breastmilk?

2010-05-06T02:50:00.000+08:00

There are 2 questions that I shall answer today at one go as they're similar in nature.

Question from Mel: Care to share ur action plan (on weaning baby off bm)? Start from 'A' please... Am up to my eyeballs with it oredi and trying to wean b4 Shifa turns 3 in another 3 mths.

Question from Natni: I'm slowly weaning him off... so far mcm ok, but he refuses formula... and bottle... nak minum pakai straw or the tumbler with straw tu. Dunno why he doesn't like bottle and formula. Now i'm giving him the flavoured dutch lady (the grape one)... and we call it "cow" since ada gambar cow on the bottle... hahaha! What formula are you giving her? Maybe I can try and see if Danial suka ke tak. At the moment, Danial kinda like the grape flavoured drink (but tak suka the rest like the strawberry/orange/tutti frutti) only at the moment.

Toughcookie says...

First of all, I would like to say, kudos to moms who breastfeed. It can be difficult enough for moms at home let alone those who have to work in an office and find time to express milk.

I think many of us moms have always been informed on the benefits of breastfeeding. There are so many sites that promote breastfeeding but there are only a handful who would give you a proper guidance on weaning off babies from breastfeeding.

I dislike general statements like, "Oh, they'll wean off when you start having your menses" or "They'll wean off eventually" and stuff like that. I've tried many tricks from the numerous advise I got but none worked on little jj. And looking at the many emails I received over the last 12 months from breastfeeding moms (the majority of them who are working), they cite that weaning off is harder than they thought. I am grateful, though, that little jj is weaning off on her own but not without any efforts put in by the one and I.

I really believe that breastfeeding moms need a very supportive husband. This is so important because the baby would cling on only mommy and not daddy. Your husband must not give up on the baby and you as a mom, must also play your part in allowing trust (and space!) for your husband to deal with the baby. I find that many of us women would prefer the easy way out and deal with the baby alone without considering what our other half feels and what they can contribute in this relationship if only they are given a chance. Well, I can only say this on dads who prefer to participate actively in bringing up their kids, though...

So, what we did was to persuade little jj to drink formula almost every night after she turned one. The one would prepare it in all sorts of containers and mugs, using bottle and straw - we've tried it all. It is well known that breastfed babies prefer the straw rather than drink from the bottle (just as Natni cited her Danial's preference) and I think Natni should continue feeding him his favourite flavoured milk since Danial is ok with that. Hopefully, he'll graduate to those milk more suitable for his age group sooner or later, slowly but surely.

After little jj turned 1, the one consistently gave her the formula and let her drink it. Of course, she would reject every single bottle/mugs/etc. every night but we persevered. Yes, we would waste plenty of milk because she would probably only take one or two gulps and she'd push away the bottle/containers. But, through that pattern, we identified the types of formula that she'd drink more and the types that she'd totally reject.

Through this step, we discovered that she wouldn't immediately reject Pediasure Chocolate flavour. So, we bought the smallest size and as every other night, the one would make one small bottle using just one scoop and we'd let her hold the bottle.

One fine day probably almost 2 months ago, upon waking up from sleep, she played with the bottle from the night before (I fell asleep and forgot to wash the bottle) and somehow the motherly instincts in me told me that I should do up a fresh bottle for her. I made 2 scoops of milk, and let her hold it. She played with the bottle, swayed it around and before we knew it, she took out the cap and drank it all in while standing up, watching Playhouse Disney! Oh my, I was damn proud of her...

So, I guess in this case, the trick would be:

1. To not force your baby if she doesn't want formula. By forcing the bottle on her, she would totally reject it as she associates drinking formula a negative experience.

2. To be persistent in our efforts. One shouldn't give up too easily.

3. Hubby must assist wife in this because when the baby is near mommy, she would smell mommy's milk and immediately storm for delicious boobies.

4. It probably helps that the formula is delicious, with chocolate flavour. Who knows in time, your baby would develop preference to other types of milk. For now, we're sticking to this brand.

Now, little jj only drank 2 bottles a day, day and night with 2 scoops of Pediasure while the rest of the time, she was breastfed. After 2 weeks, she drank 3 scoops, 3 times a day and still breastfed before bedtime. After a month, we could already feed her formula when we're out shopping or even after her classes at Kizsports. So, no more breastfeeding in public. By now, she no longer clings on to me or hung on to me when she's bored or tired. I think this is such a healthy development as her self-confidence increased and she would explore everything else at her gym class without constantly looking over her shoulders and storms at me for comfort.

By one month of this development, I took another step by trying out an advise I got from an acquaintance who's daughter is little jj's classmate at Kizsports. Now this may sound too radical but I did it for little jj's benefit.

Apparently, this is a sure win as the mom is separated from her baby at every bedtime. Only bedtime. Now this is when your very supportive husband plays his role to the max as the baby would at first cry for mommy. The thing is with babies, they're smart fellas. They know when you'll melt and how they can win everyone's attention with their cuteness and blaring volume. But one just have to persevere. After all, she's well fed at dinner and she's drank a bottle of milk after dinner... after a month of only breastfeeding once a day I could see that she only needed comfort sucking in order to sleep, and not really a drink.

Therefore, the one would get ready a large bottle of plain water for her to drink when she needs that comfort sucking and I will not sleep with her in the same room so that she will not smell the scent of milk on me. Daddy would just let her cry, soothe her and give her the confidence that daddy is there with her even if mommy is not and she would eventually fall asleep. This needs to be done repeatedly.

So far, it has been working well for us all and the one is tremendously happy too because little jj now clings on him even more. For me, I am very happy because she sleeps through the night! :D

I am not sure if this will work on Mel's Shifa who's reaching 3 years soon because she is considered a big girl already and probably could tell the difference between formula and mommy's milk but I know this may benefit Danial. Still, it wouldn't hurt to try. Even if your husband cannot help you in this department, you could always rely on a trusted family member to sleep with Shifa just to separate her from you at bedtime.

As for Natni, little jj's paed also told us to try that - giving milk from milk cartons but we weren't successful. As long as Danial's ok with that, I think you could give him that comfort in knowing that he's doing alright. After awhile, you probably would want to try taking out the contents out of the milk carton into his favourite tumbler or even the milk bottle if you like. I guess once he's able to understand his environment, he may be more accepting to your ideas instead of you having to adhere to his. But I guess that's the beauty about having a baby... it's for us parents to realise how difficult it is for our parents to take care of us when we were younger, for us to be more humble in discovering that there are so many other things in life that brings us joy (other than material stuff) and the ability to be patient and deal with our situation accordingly.

I hope you find this very helpful especially to those of you who have exhausted everything else in the process of weaning their babies off breastmilk.

Come share your views.

Tanya beskotkeras/Ask toughcookie,

2010-05-05T12:59:00.001+08:00

I received plenty of inquiries on matters pertaining to breastfeeding/managing self and family/matters of the heart/etc. which got me to thinking that I really should put up those questions I got and make it a regular column. What do you think?

The first question to be answered will be posted on Thursday and I think I would like to make it a regular Thursday column.

I may not be a specialist on the issues at hand but since many have asked for my views and thoughts about the situations you are facing or even current issues that you'd like to discuss, I thought it may be a good way to share it with everyone here so that everyone else can also give their input for us to see things in a bigger picture.

Rules:

All issues/concerns to be emailed to me at toughcookee@gmail.com;
All issues highlighted in here shall be edited accordingly to protect the identity of the sender and issues at hand, whenever necessary;
Issues will be picked according to my discretion as not all emails will get published;
Sensitive matters shall be treated with great care and as much as I try to be fair in my views, I shall not be held responsible for any consequences or results from the choices you make after my views/comments have been posted;
You must understand that this is just an avenue as a form of discussion and not a place to seek for the right answer. There are no right or wrong answers in here and those seeking for advise should use their own discretion/judgement for the choices or/and decisions that will be taken;
Readers commenting on the issues are advised to be tactful when giving their views. I will delete any rude comments/comments with vulgarities or inappropriate usage of words;
My views may not necessarily reflect on my beliefs in life but more on what I feel at that point in time regarding the issues highlighted to me;
My views are given to you because you seek my opinion. I shall be frank and straightforward in my views;
Inquiries can be in BM or English;
More rules shall be posted as and when necessary, according to the varying needs as this column moves along with time.

Hmmm... all thanks to Ros, for giving me this idea ;)

What's his most terrifying secret?

2010-05-05T11:05:00.005+08:00

"that he’s Shiro, a superhero from another life who came all the way from 3,000 years ago in search of me, to save me from the doldrums of life, swoop me off my feet so that I obtain great happiness, make me feel like I’m the sexiest, most wonderful and luckiest woman on earth, and then tell me that he’s fulfilled my wish and he has to go back to his former life because his wife and kids are waiting for him :("

Hehe... that was what I wrote when Nuffnang asked its members what is the secret you’re afraid your other half is hiding from you... in order to win a pair of tickets to watch Killers, on 3rd June 2010.

This is my first time ever trying to win free movie tickets. Not so much of the excitement of catching this particular movie but eager enough to have a good excuse to catch a movie with the one... that's all ;P

Only 80 most creative comments will get to go to the preview and mine's probably already the 200th comment *sigh*

Self-Empowerment is power.

2010-05-04T23:43:00.007+08:00

Made my way with my little tote (little jj, I mean) to Ikea over lunch today to meet a friend, Ros, who was showing me some stuff she was selling.

I had just added her in my fb friends list after meeting her while I visited a friend at the hospital. I've bumped into Ros a few times before but we never got to chat the way we did that day. So, after she had confirmed my request to add her, I went browsing away her fb page and discovered that she owns a blog selling authentic american brand goods.

Anyway, in my haste to get everything done in the morning - like feeding little jj, getting everyone ready, getting myself ready and sending the little munchkin to school, I reached Ikea only to realise that I forgot little jj's baby bag. And I hate when that happens!

See, it is a norm every time we leave the house - that I am usually busy with little jj and my eldest is entrusted with the responsibility to carry his little sister's baby bag. But I guess he had forgotten all about it this morning and since I was so engrossed with chasing after little jj before she gets into the elevator alone, I totally didn't see the lack of one more bag in my eldest's hands.

I was stumped when I couldn't find the bag. Because I had already reached my destination and I have parked the car. What made it worse was that I brought my little handbag instead of my usual large one that contains the entire house :( hehe... almost.

But, in a split second, I decided that I would just meet Ros and rush back home as soon as we're done. After all, I had given little jj milk just before we left the house, I had changed her diaper as well and the things I was worried about was her top getting dirty at lunch as I didn't have her bib, the absence of her favourite water tumbler and if she did a number 2 - which were all points that I deemed manageable, if they did occur.

Oh, but little jj gave me a pleasant surprise, though... she behaved so well and my concerns were unfounded. I placed her in the high chair at Ikea's cafe and she played on her own while I bought lunch. I know she likes fries and I ordered the famous Swedish Meatballs that comes with fries. For her drink, I got her the Spritzer Mineral Water and made sure I got a straw as well. When I got back to the table, she was all quiet minding her own business and Ros and another friend, Aje, were also surprised that little jj didn't cry for me. Wahhh... she's a big girl already *sob sob*

So, I had my meatballs and little jj ate away her fries while I chat away with Ros and Aje. In the middle of it, I fed her my meatballs and little jj truly loved it... so much so that she totally rejected the fries I gave her after that and only wanted the meatballs :) She was so full after the last piece of meatball and she then started to get cranky as she wanted to sleep. Thankfully, I was already done by then. All in all, I think I had a good 1 1/2 hours before I had to grant her my full attention.

Anyway, in the end, I didn't get anything from Ros although I initially thought I would get this sling bag from her. It looked really gorgeous to me but after I tried it on me, it didn't really complement me due to its relatively large size compared to my petite frame. The sling can be adjusted to a handbag but it defeats the purpose since I know I will never use it as a handbag.

Ros also brought other stuff like other types of bags, wallets and even a collared-T. I felt very tempted to get at least one other stuff from her but I realised that I cannot lose focus. I think I've been going on a shopping spree these couple of months and I think I should really stop doing that... I mean, I am worried of this inability to control myself where I cannot stop shopping, and always using the excuse that I haven't been shopping much for myself for the 18 months since little jj was born... that I wasn't able to do anything much until recently when she weaned off of me. There's really no end to shopping and the needs that I keep wanting to fulfill!

So... when I realised this particular factor just a couple of weeks ago, I started to see that having self-control is a form of self empowerment that can make you feel just as good.

Yes, you may be able to afford those things you buy but if you don't really need them in the first place, it may be wiser to keep your mind focused and move on to what's more important in life.

I think I sorta already filled that void I was feeling for the many things I had to sacrifice. I know you may think it isn't much but to those who know me well, and know how much I love the beautiful things in life like dressing up and taking care of my skin, visits to the hair salon and all things vain, the fact that I had pushed them all far back in order to tend to a very clingy baby (and also because money is better spent on the kids anyways), 18 months seem to be a huge achievement for me.

I had so much fun shopping the last couple of months and got plenty of new stuff since I saw my size [almost] returning to normal. I still can't fit into my old clothes and I am too small to fit in those large non-maternity attires I wore during my pregnancy... so you can imagine the many stuff I got to fill the void in my cupboard. But that need didn't go away and I kept going shopping, at times not even bothered about the price tags.

So, with the realisation that it's time to stop as I've enough new clothes, make up and skincare products to get by for another year (yeah yeah... we'll see), I am now keeping my mind focused on this promise I made to myself.

And... since that sling bag wasn't suited for vertically challenged moi, I guess I shouldn't let myself be tempted to spend on other stuff unnecessarily. Gosh... that felt good. I think! ;P

Now, over to more important matters... :)

My 2 sen.

2010-05-03T00:30:00.002+08:00

I believe many bloggers are already aware about the recent development in the blogworld, particularly one that has escalated to a more serious note, involving legal procedures.

Having a blog does not give one the rights to write as he/she please. Yes, it is one's own blog and one feels they have the right to do whatever they wish as it is their own space but then again, one must realise that a blog can be read by the entire world, no matter where they are but most importantly, the world is already seemingly small and anyone can stumble upon your blog at any chance. Therefore, whatever you write may reach whomever anytime, anywhere.

These days, majority of bloggers incorporate their twitter account into their blogs and I think this is an even more powerful tool as one gets to communicate with their 'followers' and friends, still very visible to the entire world's population if one decides not to protect their tweets. Therefore, if you intend to gossip or tell a close friend, say, that you just fought with your husband, it is definitely not the most suitable platform unless you want your husband to read it and make the situation even worse.

Now, my point is, on the writing part. Most bloggers spill everything in their hearts into this small space because it is their space. But I think only a handful do not really spill everything when they're angry. Anger can be quite destructive because not only everyone else who doesn't know what's going on, will know the story eventually, but it also gives such a negative air/aura to your blog that not only you yourself will feel uncomfortable for letting such an entry linger at the top of your blog but readers mostly will also feel the same way. Furthermore, if indeed it was just a spur of the moment, the damage cannot be reversed. Fair and rational-minded readers would prefer not to know too much details if two individuals want to start a blog war, anyway..

Still, despite all that, I strongly feel that one is not able to control another person's feelings/response towards what you have done to them. I mean, if you can start calling people names, like "sundal", what makes you think that the other party cannot do the same. Of course, it is easier to tell the other party to not do anything and stoop as low as you but as I said, reflect on yourself first to understand why the other party does what he/she is doing. After all, we are in control of our own actions.

In the first place, one shouldn't be so unprofessional (if one says they're professional in the blogworld) and judge other people... I mean, why does one care so much if one blogger is so after freebies or that the person is an unemployed lazy bum? I for one do not care one bit as long as he/she doesn't come to me every other day, asking for money to support his/her lifestyle.

Well, I may not be fully aware of the entire truth but if it is out in a certain way in the blogworld, one just cannot blame other readers on their own opinions about the situation. That's why the best way is to keep mum and if it is just a small matter, let it be.

I always think that the best way to settle a dispute is to quickly apologise when one is wrong. The evidence speaks for itself. If you let the negative air continue to linger, you simply cannot blame the 'victim' to respond the way they do. What made you do what you did in the first place? Who are you to judge people? I mean, if one is so irritated or annoyed about what another blogger say about you, why don't you confront him/her instead of telling everyone in your blog/twitter space about that person, even months after? Why don't you just go to her or even tell her in an email that she blardy irritates you and you want an explanation to why he/she said what he/she said about you?

Respect is something earned not given. In order for people to give you that respect, you should respect others as well, no matter how popular you are or how much older you are. Name-calling is a no-no unless you are ready to face the consequences. I know I've done that once or twice the entire 5 years of blogging but I was very angry at the people I was aiming the entry at, but like I said, things will not happen the way they did if one is not provoked.

There's nothing wrong with being the bigger person, and I don't mean in body size. There's no need to be mean. Most importantly, there's no need to be so egoistic especially in the local blog scene because first of all, it is extremely small and secondly, if one is popular enough, there's no need to pay any attention to those small time individuals even if they are after freebies and being jobless. You can't please everyone and you cannot force every single people on earth to like you/like what you wear/like how you look. In the end, you know yourself and you are good in what you do... you have your family, and your family loves you... and friends will be there for you through thick and thin, not just because of what you can do for them.

That's what I think.

Toughcookie Hot In The News!

2010-05-02T19:03:00.007+08:00

Hehe... not really TV or print news, but rather in the blogworld.

For one, I was featured on MomBloggersPlanet, the one and only local platform for bloggers, especially mommies alike to obtain useful information on self-development, tips on blogging and much much more.

If you haven't yet joined MomBloggersPlanet because you do not fall under the right group based on your own assumptions, think again... because this single man who's a personal trainer with a hot bod (*ahem*) wasn't even embarrassed to admit that he's a fan of MBP. He cites that he was drawn to MBP because of the valuable tips he got to further enhance his presence in the blog world and how he could be a better blogger... exactly what I first thought when I decided to register as a member with MBP.

Aaannnd.... in another news, so much for writing about lipsticks in my previous post and in my review blog, I have been awarded an opportunity to work with a renowned blog for just a minute role... small, but still something that I am very excited about - I am one of the four that has been chosen by My Women Stuff to test the latest lippie from Maybelline *yeayy*... now I know that I have not had any good experience with many drugstore brands since my hormonal changes in my first pregnancy. But I believe there have been many new developments in the market nowadays on more improved formula in cosmetics and skincare products. I am hopeful that things will be different now so that I can continue to own like 10 lippies on my vanity chest compared to only 3 to 4 of them expensive ones :)

I remembered how much I loved Maybelline in my foundation years in uni because I've just won a beauty contest that was sponsored by Maybelline and I got loads of stuff from them. I used everything Maybelline, then, and my best friends were privileged to be able to share the many shades of lippies I had. When other friends see the natural colours on my best friends, they even thought that I was using all those branded lippies and were surprised to find out that all the wearable colours I was using came from Maybelline. Oh how I miss those times when I could just use lippies that cost less than 20 bucks... at least I know that if little jj gets her finger inside the tube or use any of the lippies to draw on the wall of our apartment, I wouldn't mind it one bit ;P

hehe... it was the most beautiful experience in my teenage years ;P

*don't ask me which beauty contest this was ok! haha..*

I look forward to test it out. I've asked for a nude colour called, Buff and it will be sent over to me for me to try out. So, since I received news of this just this morning, I decided to pass on Bobbi Brown for the time being. Who knows... my prayers may have just been answered. You don't need to fork out so much dough if the cheaper brands work just as well, right? So, let's just see til then, eh?

Shopping for a good lipstick.

2010-04-30T12:46:00.007+08:00

I just received this in my inbox and I can't help sharing this update here.

I must say that I've been a huge fan of Bobbi Brown since I started working in 1999. I became an even bigger fan of their lipsticks when I couldn't wear any other lipsticks ever since I was pregnant with my first born... I was told that hormonal changes would play tricks on a pregnant woman's body, especially to her skin but when it comes to my lips, I discovered that the changes were permanent. Those brands that I could wear before - drugstore cheap ones like Maybelline and L'oreal to luxury brands like Chanel, MAC, Dior, Estee Lauder, (even no-perfume Clinique lippies) whatever else, made my lips itch, swell and sometimes black (I kid you not).

Recently though, I managed to get reacquainted with a luxury brand after their new star product was launched. But it cost a tad RM109 for a stick and now that I've used it up, I am not sure if I'd want to spend that much on a gorgeous packaging that I would be discarding.

Oh, I was digressing. Back to the point - those days while I scout around for suitable lippies (which entailed plenty of wasted dough and throwing away lippies that were used only once or twice), I was happy to discover that Bobbi Brown's lipsticks were perfect for me... well, only the lipsticks and not their shimmery lip glosses, though. It was quite a relief too since the price wasn't too steep as they kept their packaging simple and modest.

Today, I am extremely excited to receive this info through email because one of my lipsticks is finished and I need a new one in a rosy/nudy shade.

i've always loved their natural shades, although i wish they also have something in dark brown or an intense crimson-dark choco shade

moisturising lippies seem to be the current trend in today's lip products...

There is also a special Mother's Day promotion running. So if you are a fan of Bobbi Brown or would like to discover them, do visit their local website.

Speaking of Mother's Day, I have to start working on an update which I've drafted in my head weeks ago. Anyways, have a good weekend and Happy Labour's Day :) although there will be no off day for me ;P

Road Trip With My Broadband

2010-04-29T11:24:00.008+08:00

Having a reliable and speedy broadband connection is so important to a work-at-home-mom like me. I have plenty of things to do during the day taking care of the kids while juggling work at those stolen short intervals when my children are occupied with other stuff.

I am heavily dependent on internet connection almost 20 hours a day as my work hours are erratic, where I would normally go all out to focusing on my work after 10pm when most of the house chores are done and since I am based at home, I would always need to keep in touch with the ‘outside’ world like connecting with friends via twitter and facebook during the day just to keep me sane and not be an island.

My journey with the Malaysian broadband experience is aplenty but I have yet to try out P1 W1MAX. Found out about their new W1GGY but I guess I could only test it when their coverage reaches my section in the Kelana Jaya, PJ area. I have always been intrigued by P1’s innovation ever since they started their very catchy (and, somewhat controversial) advert (ahah!) on TV and I think they have somewhat captured a big interest to their services due to this fact.

it's a tiny gizmo that allows internet connectivity without 'strings attached'. suitable for those always on the go and for mommies like me who prefer practicality.

And if you haven't yet checked them out, do visit their user-friendly website and look for the most suitable plan for you.

Well, for now, I could only hope that P1’ll arrive soon to my area. So for now, I would just have to be satisfied with whatever service that I’m using ☺

Project Alpha Season 2 is presented by Adidas Action 3 and supported by P1 and MAS.

Trying To Conceive Club (TTC Club Malaysia)

2010-04-28T02:20:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday, I managed to meet up with a friend whom I have not seen in years. Well, actually we did bump into each other many times in KLCC or the KL Convention Centre after I got married but those were brief hi's and ho's and not any proper meet. Therefore, we'd say that our proper meet was on my wedding day almost 3 years ago :)

I went over to see her at Pantai Hospital, Bangsar and I could see how vivacious she was despite having gone through a 28-hour labour and hoards of people visiting her non-stop. So, I would like to again congratulate Zeeda for the birth of her beautiful Zarya Jane Harris on 21 April 2010. She and her hubby had been waiting so long for her arrival and Alhamdulillah... the Almighty answered their prayers.

*photo taken from her fb page.

the proud umi and her baby... i didn't get to see Zarya that day as she was kept under observation due to jaundice.

I remembered how not too long ago, Zeeda was a little frustrated with her inability to conceive that she couldn't even read my blog anymore. I guess my happiness and excitement being pregnant with little jj just 6 months after my marriage made it difficult for her to accept.

Frankly, I would never really understand the feelings of people who has difficulties getting pregnant simply because I never experienced it myself. When it comes to a topic like this, it becomes very sensitive to a lot of women and the pressures of our society doesn't make it any easier for them.

When a friend shares with me on her frustrations on this issue, I would feel a little awkward because though I can be a good listener, I would feel extremely helpless. I do not know what to say to a friend to make her feel better because what I say might either be construed as totally insensitive (because I do not totally understand their situation) or my response sounds too cliched.

So, in view of this, one blogger has come up with the Trying to Conceive Club (TTC Club Malaysia) that acts as a forum or a one-stop platform for you to obtain information on fertility options or simply to express your frustrations to those who share the same predicament.

According to Little Mama, the founder of this Club, she is not a medical specialist to give advise on medical conditions but she has gone through most of the fertility methods available to her and she could probably offer some words of consolation where she acts as Counselor. I've read some of the threads in the forum and the information available are pretty decent and informative, down to the breakdown of costs in a private hospital and the steps of going through a fertility treatment.

I guess with this establishment, it can provide a more suitable channel for those in need of advise but do not really know where they should start. I believe the most important factor is the ability to share your feelings with those who truly understand and will not judge you while you also do not put a spot on friends who are just so scared to say anything for fear of saying the wrong things.

I say, kudos, to Little Mama for this effort. It may look small to some but I do believe it will be pretty helpful to those in need of opinions and guidance.

Playhouse Disney and health on Labour Day!

2010-04-27T11:47:00.003+08:00

When I started to discover how little jj would focus on animation on TV like Wonderpets and especially those aired on Kelab Disney Malaysia on TV3, both the one and I considered including cartoon channels in our cable TV subscription.

Little jj was only around 16 months old then and she was very selective in the programmes that she would really watch. I only allowed Playhouse Disney for her and since then, she has started to discover many things she liked from the many quality and educational shows aired on the channel. She likes Handy Manny for the catchy tunes the tools and him would sing while performing their repair works and she'd laugh at Mr Lopart's antics and his pet cat, Fluffy; Special Agent Oso for the Paw Pilot’s tips and countdown; Safety Patrol for their annoying habit of scrutinising everything; Word World for their unique word-forms and usage of the alphabets; Chuggington for their upbeat tunes; the funny Ooh and Aah before any show starts; and others. Most importantly, her favourite would be Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for simply put, the star of the show – Mickey Mouse.

In conjunction with the public holiday this Saturday, 1 May 2010, Playhouse Disney on Astro’s Channel 613 will be airing their programmes with health-themed episodes from 9.30am to 1.30pm. Four special short-form prorammes like Mickey Mousekersize, Dance-a-lot Robot, Tasty Time with Zefronk and Adventures in Nutrition with Captain Carlos will also be shown throughout the day to add zest to this health campaign.

I guess this must have something to do with Michelle Obama’s initiative at fighting the increasing rate of child obesity and creating awareness about health as early as preschool years.

I know my little one totally enjoys the exercise sessions on Mickey Mousekersize. They make it look so much fun. And since dancing is a natural skill that a baby would develop, those catchy tunes that accompany all the activities always managed to capture her attention. She would move her body left to right and even twirls to the rhythm.

Tasty Time with ZeFronk is an animated short series where the host, ZeFronk, presents a healthy cook show from his house. Since she loves accompanying me to the kitchen, she is always fascinated with the show.

I look forward to discover the new show, Dance-A-Lot Robot, a combination of animation and live action programme where a robot teaches preschoolers simple original dance steps to the music of Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh.

For those of you with a child who’s a little bit older, Adventures in Nutrition with Captain Carlos spotlights a six-year old boy who shows how healthy meals and regular physical activity make him feel like a superhero.

I guess since her usual Saturday’s class at Kizsports is cancelled due to the public holiday, it would be great to sit infront of the TV and do those activities with her at least for an hour or two in the morning. What better way to start inculcating healthy habits (if you haven’t yet!) when everyone is around this Labour Day ☺

FYI, below is the schedule of programmes which will be aired on that day. If I am not mistaken, they will be repeated at 5pm.

TIME	PROGRAMME
9.30am	Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
9.55am	Mickey Mousekersize
10.00am	Handy Manny
10.25am	Dance-A-Lot Robot
10.30am	Little Einsteins
10.55am	Tasty Time with ZeFronk
11.00am	My Friends Tigger & Pooh
11.25am	Adventures in Nutrition with Captain Carlos
11.30am	Special Agent Oso
11.55am	Tasty Time with ZeFronk
12.00nn	Imagination Movers
12.25pm	Dance-A-Lot Robot
12.30pm	Happy Healthy Monster
12.55pm	Adventure in Nutirition with Captain Carlos

Enjoy watching them with your little ones!

Date Night was awesome for us.

2010-04-25T00:18:00.010+08:00

I received so many enquiries on what happened to the date I had with the one and I regret not being able to write sooner due to moi being tied up with work again and staring at the computer screen for any longer hours even to update the blog makes me nauseous ;P

I must say that we both had a blast. We had an awesome time together. Well, I guess we always had so much fun together except that these past years, most of our conversation always focused on what our children did, what they did not do, what they need, what they don't, well... you get my drift.

This time, thanks to one very useful advise from a friend, we refrained from talking about our kids during the short date and it felt almost like we were out on our first date.

I guess it felt that way for a fact that firstly, I have lost those few kilos (finally!) after more than a year, and... last Friday was the first time that I really dressed to kill for the date. So much so, that I did take the one's breath away hehe... this is not a perasan statement okeh, cos you can also read it here...

Well, I have never worn boots in any of our dates before though I am a fan of boots. And, knowing that the one does have his preference of what kind of clothes he likes me in, I decided to dress waaaay different than what he may think I would wear. The element of surprise is always a risk - you may strike the right chords yet it can even get disastrous. I am so glad, though, that my touch with fashion is still there although I did think I was a little 'over-doing' it - wearing a new pink top I've never worn, with a skirt that I haven't worn in years, paired with that long boots I bought on our UK trip a year back. He has never seen me in that combination and I was afraid that it may be a little too much for a Monday night hehe....

I started preparing so early, even. I went through my wardrobe as early as 3pm and I felt butterflies in my tummy. I got so darn excited that I hoped the one was feeling the same way. After all, we have not gone out alone together since the last 2 years and I was hoping that things will turn out really well.

Little jj didn't quite help as she didn't nap until half an hour before I was to drop her off at nenek's. And we all know that if she didn't get at least half an hour of sleep, she'd be a tough baby to handle. But I wasn't gonna be late since I would need to go through rush hour traffic into KL. Plus, little jj needs time to warm up at nenek's before I could leave her and I had to remain calm so that she couldn't sense any tension... I mean, babies could sense these kind of negative energy and they'd get tensed as well.

So, while she cried from the lack of sleep and was making it a little difficult for me, her favourite baby biscuits kept her happy... she munched on them while watching tv and my mom distracted her before I could leave silently.

When I reached Pavilion KL, I felt so many stares on me. I don't know if it was the outfit or whether my skirt was pulled up and people saw my underwear hehe... I had to look at my reflection many times in order to feel assured that I look normal...

did this look make heads turn? or was it something else?

i was in pavilion and i expected to see many women dressed to kill, anyway ;)

I picked up the tickets and walked around while waiting for the one to arrive. We were going to watch Date Night. Actually, the reason we finally decided to have our 'alone' time was partly due to the storyline of that movie... where a married couple finds time to go out on a date. And since the last time we left little jj with nenek was a success, we thought it was time for us to take a short break from the kids every once in awhile...

I was so happy to see the one's expression when he saw me. I could see that he was really pleased to see me and I guess the high boots made me look even more desirable (ahah!). It has been so long since I get to dress up for him - like really really dress up for him and it felt so good to be able to keep him in surprise from that mundane expected routine we practically practise every day at home.

We were both really excited that people around us must have thought we were either having an affair or that he was an older man going out with a 'college' girl haha.... we even got the cashier at GSC excited when we asked her to take our photo and explained to her that it was our first date after 2 years ;P

i got greedy and want more dates now... i need a week's break ;)

The movie was hillarious and I do think that the movie may not be that great but that we felt it was the best since we were so happy to be away spending time together and able to laugh out loud without even having to control our volume :D Best of all, there were so many scenes from the movie which we could relate to and we wondered if other married couples are actually just the same...

As the movie ended earlier than we thought, we then went window shopping before making our way back to the kids.

When we arrived my parents' place, I could hear little jj laughing away being teased by my dad. Now, I know very well that as soon as she saw us, atuk will no longer get any attention from her and so I let him keep playing with her. When she finally saw us, her face lit up so bright that she got so excited and stormed after the one first.

I kinda felt sad at that because she no longer charged at me compared to the time when she was breastfed exclusively. But then again, I believe this was what I wanted anyway - to wean her off breastmilk totally and this is part of the 'side-effects' to it.

But but but... before any sadness consumed me, she quickly charged at me and hugged me tight!... that felt soo good. She held me and didn't want to let go, and I rocked her back and forth and told her how much I missed her :D

That day couldn't be more perfect!

A first real date after the baby...

2010-04-18T21:39:00.004+08:00

It’s no joke. Some would complain after they complete their confinement period for the lack of privacy and inability to go on romantic dates alone with their husbands. For me and the one, it is probably 2 years since our last alone time together.

I guess it all lies in the fact that I was misinformed about some of the facts on the benefits of breastfeeding. And since I have been working from home, I have been always available and present at little jj's beck and call. That contributed to her totally rejecting milk in bottles and it caused her to be totally dependent and overly clingy on me.

It all got to quite a critical stage where I couldn’t have my proper rest and the one couldn’t even touch her, let alone contribute to any fatherly efforts like tucking her to bed. It would have been a very stressful situation if not for a very supportive husband and I guess he also appreciated the fact that he didn’t have to wake up for the night feeds at all (eheh!).

We had our ‘trial’ date during the one’s annual dinner when little jj was around 8 months old. I did an ‘induction course’ for her to get more familiar with atuk and nenek and in turn, like them. But you know, the fact that she didn’t even want anyone else to hold her then except for when daddy bathed her, I kind of expected that my dinner with him would be a short one.

We had the whole troop in our apartment (I was supposed to send her to atuk’s house but she cried non-stop there!) – atuk, nenek, abang, even her favourite cousins, Qilah and Nina, to play with her, entertain her and keep her occupied, while I quietly left the apartment and headed towards KL. The one was already waiting for me at the hotel and we had such a wonderful time chatting over cocktail. It felt like we were dating those years before being married. We talked the way we haven’t been able to since the arrival of little jj and we laughed the way we haven’t laughed, since little jj came into the world (I mean, laughing freely without having to control our volume...) ;)

As you can read here, I got a call around 9.30pm or so, just after we had dinner and I could clearly hear little jj’s loud cry in the background. Yes, she would do that even to daddy, then. My mom was terribly worried because it has been an hour since she didn’t stop crying and especially because little jj broke in heavy sweats that she wanted to take little jj to the clinic (hiks)! I told her that there’s nothing to worry about because yes, she sweats when she cries her lungs out and I got ready to leave the hotel. The one continued to stay on and told me to drive safely.

When I arrived half an hour later speeding my way through KL traffic, she was still crying out loud. I expected her to fall asleep while crying but apparently, she had waited for me to come home. Imagine to our amusement, she stopped immediately when she saw me home and she was laughing and playing about, all looking okay like nothing was wrong hehe…

So, yeah, that trial date totally didn’t work out the way we had hoped. And from then on, we never tried until end of last month when the one’s annual dinner made its way again. This time, little jj was around 20 months old and she has made plenty of positive progress because firstly, she has learnt to socialise from those weekly classes at Kizsports and secondly, she had just started to openly accept milk in the bottle. And that second point helped immensely when I was at my busiest that month, and having to attend meetings at night as frequent as three times a week. In those busy-ness, I was impressed at her confidence that she didn’t even seem to miss my absence when I once arrived home after 11pm.

I guess all that, plus the almost daily trips to nenek and atuk’s house after picking abang up from school, made her feel right at home there. Although she still needs time to warm up before atuk and nenek could even hug or kiss her, she no longer cried there and that gave me a chance to leave her with nenek when those rare need arise for me to attend serious meetings during the day.

But but but… the test would be the 2nd annual dinner that I would be attending with the one and we were both worried. She has never been without her mommy and daddy at night and I cringed to think what other tricks she has up her sleeves. I treat everything as sensitive so that the night could be a perfect one for us… and we were so happy to note that she totally passed the acid test! We arrived to pick her up around 11pm and she didn’t even cry. The entire house was dark because nenek wanted her to sleep but she went to doing her own stuff there and hugged me tight in joy when she saw me. Of course with mommy at her side, she didn’t feel that she needed to be friendly with atuk and nenek anymore ;P

Now, my mom had always made it clear to us (her children) that she never had any desires to take care of her grandchildren (especially babies) and that we were all responsible for our own children. But I guess, since she saw how much effort I put in raising little jj all on my own, and the fact that this little one is hard to please, it was probably a great sense of achievement for her when little jj accepts her and allows nenek to feed her/play with her. Of course, as always, I wouldn’t want to take advantage of my mom's willingness to babysit and that 2nd dinner we attended was cut short in order for us to next time ask for this kind of favour from her when we feel the need to have ‘alone’ time together.

As little jj has always been pretty unpredictable, I am again, keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow… as we both will embark on our FIRST date after around 2 YEARS! Unfortunately, since it is a school day for our little munchkin, we may not be able to stretch tomorrow’s date for too many activities… so, we’re only making time for a romantic night at the movies where I am sure, dinner is included in the pitch darkness of the cinema. But that is romantic too, right? Hehe…

We used to catch a movie every other week those days but I am glad that we’re both not too demanding with the expectations that everything should be the same as it was before. Raising a family needs some sacrifices and what do you know… the time has finally came for us to finally go out again together.

Life always works its way to your advantage but you just wouldn’t know when that will happen. So, despite everything, I am glad that we're both extremely patient with little jj's quirks for us to appreciate what we could do again, tomorrow. So here’s hoping for more positive developments from now on, eh ☺

Do wish us luck, and for little jj to behave well with atuk & nenek, ya.

Nokia E72 presents, The Rookie.

2010-04-15T17:15:00.011+08:00

I love my E72. I think it is a dream phone for me, that can do everything I want of a phone and more.

I think those who’ve been reading me since years back would know my history with phones. Yes, I did stray to two other brands but I found that I would always come back to Nokia. It’s the best for me – you know what to expect of a Nokia phone, their capabilities are reputable, and what’s more important is that their application/software/programmes are easy to figure.

I’ve always wanted to own the E71. When I let go of my E90 to the one once I left the employment industry, the one thought I should try out those phones with amazing camera capabilities. Hence, he kept buying me phones with cameras in high megapixels but I found that my soul has always felt void (heh!). No matter how good those phones were, I still always admired the sleekness of the E71 with those shortcut work buttons I’ve always been familiar with when using the E90.

So, when the E72 reached our shores, I didn’t hesitate to dream and dream big ☺. Waddaya know, dreams did come true hehe… and so glad that I waited as the E72 is a marked improvement from its predecessor.

not just for serious users, you could always pimp it to your taste ;)

Seriously, I love it. Yes, the camera functions fall short from the N86 and N82 that I’ve used before, but all I wanted was a mobile ‘PC’ that I could use even in my visits to the loo (oopps!). I love the qwerty keyboard that fits just nicely in my small palms and I enjoy doing whatever typing work I needed to do on the move – be it while waiting for little jj's playschool to be over, or while waiting for my lunch to be served if I am eating out – whenever, wherever. Best of all, Nokia rewards all its E72 users with a free download of the latest Quickoffice application so that you are able to do your work on any Word, Excel and PowerPoint documents. That’s not all… I am able to get all my emails as well. Therefore, this toughcookie is well connected, in the most sleek and sexy way ☺

Don't get me started on its other useful functions like optical trackpad, free ovi suite, flash camera, video calls and more! It's many shortcut buttons is perfectly suited for busy mommies like me.

Now, ff you’re 18-30 years of age, loves a little challenge, is not currently employed and would want to get your hands on this charming mini-machine, Nokia is currently doing a reality 'recruitment' drive in the form of internships at four high-profile companies.

As I am way over the age limit (*sigh*) I am unable to submit my application. Hmmm… now, I do look 21 (ahahh!) but unfortunately, I am not able to falsify the details in my identity card *sigh again*

I reckon that the E72 will be put to a test – a highly fascinating one, too, as you will be armed with only the handsome gadget, taking on various challenges and a champion will be picked. As the champion, The Rookie will win a RM10,000 cash prize and bring home the E72. Well actually, all 12 interns chosen for this project will get to bring home the E72.

A valuable experience is offered in 4 corporate organisations who are leaders in their industries - Nokia, Universal Music, Standard Chartered Bank and 8TV. Registration closes 28 April 2010 and more details can be found here.

Oh, but to those of you who’s young at heart like me who are not able to participate in this project, you could still get a RM100 voucher against your purchase for a brand new E72 just by following all the webisodes and promotions. I would like to get it for the one but that gadget freak even surprised me when he decided to lay off his highly gadget-ey, high-tech HTC hero for the E72 this afternoon.

Hurrah to E72!

The blog title is an affirmation.

2010-04-14T03:22:00.006+08:00

Recently, I’ve been plagued with a downturn in my energy to post new entries. In fact, I’ve drafted several but yet to click the ‘PUBLISH POST’ button because I am hell bent on posting something sincere from the heart and they may be too much info from the heart.

After blogging for what, 4-5 years now… I think I may have reached that cycle of most bloggers. I mean, many of them bloggers whom I was associated closely then, no longer blog actively. And like them, I am also more into tweeting for a quick, simple and hassle-free update, which is almost like writing a blog post, only much shorter.

Currently, many people blog for money. I can’t say much about it because as much as I felt that I would be leaving personal blogging for good, my dwindling spirits were suddenly given a little motivation boost (if not much) after looking at the continuous increase in the amount I am getting from Nuffnang. Hence, this blog post.

I dunno… apart from the fact that the normal lifecycle of a blogger is the contributing factor for this 'downturn', many things happening and moi not getting any younger, tends to make one get very much involved in life’s turn of events. And let’s face it, I’m a passionate person. I never really realised that until the one pointed that out to me and I have come to terms with that fact, that I am passionate in whatever issues I get myself involved with… while some are very positive, those negative ones are what kept my brain working because naturally, everyone would want to improve their life experiences and I would definitely want to improve myself – to be better and to not easily fall for people with so much negative energy in them because they easily pull others down with them.

Let’s face it. This passionate woman only has the best interests to those dear to her. But not everyone knows how to appreciate a passionate person. Some would come to me probably only for affirmation and you can’t get that from me every time since this toughcookie will only tell you the truth about what she feels from it all and we all know that the truth may not be that easy to accept. But, one should hear the truth… the fact that every one else gives you that loud cheer and agrees to everything you say or do, does not necessarily make them a good friend. Same goes to when a person does something against your will, doesn’t necessarily make them an enemy because from my experience in life, one may not be on your side because they are acting on your best interest – many a times you may not even realise it because one will only believe what one wants to believe. When that happens, it’s not their loss but yours.

I like to look at many different angles about any issues. Some say I think a lot but the one could vouch that my thinking allows me to foretell statements that do not tally which most often lead to us trapping insincere people in their own web of lies. I don’t know whether this comes from just seeing things from all angle or coupled with strong female instincts… or maybe, I am just a natural “lie detector”.

And that [partly] contributed to the dwindling mood to update my personal blog because I think I’ve come to a stage where I only want to divulge my personal views, daily experiences, etc. only to those who matters to me – those really dear to me, who sincerely loves to keep abreast with what’s happening with me lately… not those who just want to read to further scrutinise what’s happening in my life, and then make calls to their friends/officemates/parents back home/[insert whatever as you please], to gossip and talk behind my back.

Yup, I do not want to give that benefit to those undeserving.

But though it’s a dilemma of sorts, I guess after seeing an increase in the amount I got from Nuffnang though I haven’t been consistently updating, I just have to brush insignificant people aside and focus on what I have long been working on.

Guess at times, even the most passionate and positive person could get a little side-tracked.

What Kind Of Food Do You Give A Sick Toddler?

2010-04-06T14:14:00.002+08:00

Little jj is recovering from the slight fever she caught since Saturday. She was on and off with high temperature and I will always get a little concerned when it comes to her lack of appetite.

So today, at lunch, I get to see the strong resemblance of her daddy when her appetite sorta returned when I fed her hash browns from guess where - McD's! Like daddy like daughter, I'd say in this sense.

I do not want to spoil her diet because McD's is junk food to me and not a source of a healthy diet for a sick toddler. But another part of me wants her to eat so badly that it made me so happy to see her finally eat like she normally does. Once in awhile is ok then, eh?

I blame daddy for this love of McD hehe... so I guess it's true when they say that whatever you do when your partner is pregnant will most likely be presented in your little junior, be it good or bad :D

The only consolation in this case is that McD's is only downstairs and I liked the fact that little jj drinks lots and lots of water (just like mommy!) especially when she's under the weather.

Testing

2010-04-06T13:57:00.001+08:00

Am posting this via email for the first time and want to see how it looks.

Timid Mouse No More...

2010-03-19T22:39:00.006+08:00

When Friday comes, I would always get super duper excited about little jj's kiddy-gym session for the next morning... I mean, compared to the super timid, super unacceptance of unfamiliar people (including atuk & nenek!), uber princess-ey to the point of being too cautious to even step down a 1" split level that she was before, the classes at Kizsports and the wonderful teachers there helped transformed her into a more boisterous toddler who's so open to try out new things. Yes, she's still not very friendly to people she doesn't see every day but at least she's more daring. I especially love the new things and new habits that she's developed that makes everyday such a sweet sweet day that comes and goes waaay too fast.

And although she is super unfriendly to her nenek and atuk, their undying love and unwavering efforts to win her heart have seen positive results... well, at least when mama is not around ;P

Those cute cute gestures in the way she warms our heart and her cheekiness in making sure we'll melt upon seeing her laugh and talk nonsense, had thwarted the one in his steps earlier this morning. He was almost ready for work when little jj got out of bed, stretched her hands up to reach out for daddy, so that daddy would pick her up and hold her for as long as possible. And for that, little jj made daddy stay home today to spend as much quality time with her because she is so irresistible in our eyes and to appreciate all the little gestures that she's displaying.

Anyways, things have been going on pretty swell for us so far. For me, work has been continuous. It was a mad mad dash for tight multiple deadlines especially when I missed 2 days when we got the baby that we were supposed to adopt. I had spent a little too much time with the preparations for the arrival of the baby, like making up the new room and picking up those involved that I actually risked my work reputation. But I guess as they say, with faith, good things'll happen and I thank god for protecting me... it was a strange coincidence that the client fell sick and later on was too busy to check the documents that were given to me that they actually gave me a one week extension for that particular project.

But... when one project gets delayed, all the other stuff gets affected by the domino effect.

Still, all are manageable and eventually, things are getting back to normal. In fact, in between getting things done this week, I had managed to slot in two needle work for 2 separate attires that I am wearing to 2 different events... I managed to spruce up a dress I got for the one's salsa-themed dinner by adding bits of sequins and beads just to make the dress a little more elegant under ballroom lights and I am still not done with the beadwork for a kebaya that I'll be wearing as emcee for an event early April.

With all these juggling things around, I received a call from a headhunter on Wednesday who asked me whether I'd like to return to the corporate world. Now this is a question that I've always dread to answer, simply because I have never really been that firm in my future plans. All I know is that my earlier intention when little jj was born, was for me to take a 6 months break. However, the 6 months have stretched to almost 2 years now and I am not sure why I should be looking back.

With whatever that I have been doing, I am happy to note that I have been re-acquainted with a treasured friend, whom I thought I have lost contact so long ago, due to some stuff that were happening in her life. Although I never really know the truth of the situation, I know she always have this special spot in my heart and I am glad that business has re-connected us. The fact that I'm on my own allows me to think out of the box, without much constraints and I am free to explore opportunities and get in touch with many wonderful people.

I am happy where I am now. I have the flexibility to work at my own pace while at the same time able to look after my children on my own... I know where the eldest is, I could send him to school and pick him up from school... I know what my kids are eating and I could add in activities with them in between. But... there's this space inside of me that's still opening that gate of possibilities to be attached back to the corporate world although ironically, when given that opportunity a few months ago, I backed out at the last minute as I was sure that I was shown 'signs' against it. Now, why am I still having that gate open?

I guess when I think long and hard about this, I am probably leaving my options open only because we humans are never really satisfied with our achievements... "the grass is greener on the other side", they say and it probably looks so glamourous to be known in the industry. But the truth is, I believe I really already have a firm answer, although I am finding it hard to tell people that I do not wish to go back to the jungle. Never say never, they say.

So, yeah. That's it.

And in all good things that's happening within the week, it is quite a relief to finally get news of payment for services rendered more than 6 months ago. In this business, you would come across parties like this but for this job, the depth of work involved and the fact that the business relationship was built on a long-term friendship, it was pretty disappointing to note that the other party was manipulating my considerate nature.

In this case, I think I don't agree with the saying that goes something like you need to see good things in people for people to see goodness in you because life doesn't always work that way. Firstly, the other party may not use their 'coconut' like you do and secondly, you would easily get taken advantage of. Yes, it is nice to only see the positive side of things but to what extent?

I find that many people (or at least, a handful of people around me) are prone to amnesia. Within the last few weeks, I was unfortunate to come across these people who easily forget what they promised earlier and how they beg in order to get help in the first place. I mean, when one is desperate, it is so easy to promise things and it is so easy for people to say things according to what they think you want to hear. It is such a surprise that these people do not have conscience nor guilt only to cover up their arse.

To me, I say, be frank in the first place so that things can be ironed out the simplest way possible for the best outcome. But I guess in business, you'd have to be shrewd to be successful. Whatever. My motto is - simple, honest and straightforward. I may not get super duper rich in a short amount of time because of this motto but hey... I am an easy to please person.

It is alarming to note that I have to beg for money owed to me although everything was already agreed in the first place and the payment has been long overdue. But, since I pride myself to be able to detect liars, I sensed some irregularities in the correspondences for the last 3-4 months and am truly grateful to the Almighty for leading me to another party for a quick clarification. I would like to close this particular chapter by this Monday when the payment is ready and I would so like to discard all these negative energy around me and bury them deep under the blue ocean.

I guess with all these, I come out wiser although I am a little worried as I become more cautious of people and have so much distrust in people. That is a negative trait that shouldn't consume me. But, I believe that this is a natural phase that one goes through when something like this occur and this barrier of trust is pulled up for protection. Trust is such a big word... it is so precious and priceless because it takes years to build yet could collapse in an instant. When that happens, you have the choice to build it up again or you could simply ignore the party totally because they become insignificant to you.

So, I shall continue to focus on what's significant in my life and work things out in the best possible way. The week has not ended yet and I am wishing for a continuous positive stride.

In Love With Little Girls' Closet

2010-03-10T23:23:00.017+08:00

To some of you who are in my facebook list of friends and saw how attractive the latest collection of exclusive hand-printed batik dresses look on little jj, can now check out the latest designs in my beautiful friend's Little Girls' Closet website, where you can find Beautiful Dresses for Little Girls :)

I think the first time I helped promote her website was way back in October 2009 when she first launched her hand-smocked dress collection. As a close friend, I had the privilege to try those dresses on my little jj and I thought they were not only very pretty but they're also very neatly sewn. Best of all, I especially liked the hand-smocked detail on the dresses that run through the entire bodice, not just a small horizontal stripe like most of the smocking dresses you find everywhere else.

She shared with me on the fact that she received the most orders when I wrote about her site on this blog of mine last year (gosh... I should start charging advertorial/advertisements in here!! hehe...) and I guess it is only fair that I continue to help promote her online shop because I truly believe in her quality dresses for little girls. I think the designs are fabulous, the workmanship is pretty neat and I like that they're all pretty comfy and easy to care for....

Little Girls' Closet's Spring Batik 2010 is even prettier! There are 12 different designs in 5 vibrant colours. Everytime I put any one of them (little jj owns 4 so far) on little jj, people would always ask me where I got them dresses from... so now, look no further - go to Little Girls' Closet and be mesmerised with their latest hand-printed Batik collection.


little jj in Simple & Stunning	little jj in Pretty Luxury	little jj in Halter Elegance

But but but... if you haven't got your hands on their gorgeous hand-smocked dresses, you will be pleased to note that they are ALL going at 40% discount, to make way for more new collections that are coming soon. With the 40% discount, you will still enjoy free delivery (within Malaysia only) and the dresses will be sent to you in a nicely packed package.

As for me, my hands are feeling really itchy to click on those new Batik tunic tops... they look exquisite!

photos courtesy of Little Girls' Closet

let's see... shall i take the pretty one on the most left, the center beautiful piece or that elegant one on the most right? hmmmm....

Do you like what you see?

Babyface Live In KL concert was totally F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!

2010-03-07T09:48:00.002+08:00

I wanted to update much earlier but was tired from lack of sleep and hectic, fulfilling few days! :)

I must must must say that I totally enjoyed the concert... totally. It was my first time watching a live show by Babyface and I was initially a little worried if he would just sing and not bothered much about his audience, the way many international singers do when they perform in our shores. And I was impressed at how engaging he was with his audience...

I had the opportunity to record some of his performances but it was no fun holding a piece of camera up when all I wanted to do was to enjoy and move my body. So, they weren't that very good videos. Still, I wished I had them all taped because watching it over and over again, I felt this rush of emotions that I wanted to just follow him to his every show wherever he went because he is that amazing.

I think many of us were truly mesmerised by his powerful vocals, energetic 2 1/2 hours of performance, how we can see the strong chemistry he had with his accompanying musicians and the best part was, he was truly truly funny. Yup, he cracked so many jokes that the show became something I am sure that all of us who went there, would definitely remember over and over again, forever. He had the charm and he had the aura. It was amazing, and I can't say that enough.

In fact, I've been talking about Babyface repeatedly over and over again to the one and watching the videos I took of his show again and again... so much so that the one has resorted to making fun of Babyface just to make me stop haha. But, to be fair to him, upon seeing the videos that night after the show, the one was totally blown away and this rocker-man suddenly said to me that he thinks he wants to also be a fan of Babyface. Yeayy!

He sang, "For The Cool In You" for his opening act and continued with "Everytime I Close My Eyes". After that, he made his show into a story of him... throughout the concert, he told us all how he first got inspired, who inspired him, how many times he fell in love and those people he fell in love with. It was also heartfelt when he shared with us his moments with the King of Pop, MJ and what he thought of MJ. He also vowed to pay tribute to MJ in his every concert and rendered, "Gone Too Soon", a song he co-wrote with MJ as a tribute to Lady Di. Funny that I had always thought the lyrics of the song actually felt like it was meant to be for MJ himself whenever I hear it played on my stereo...

So, his repertoire of songs that night consisted of songs from James Taylor and Eric Clapton, the two people who first inspired him and after that, he went on to singing his own songs. There wasn't any time wasted, he changed his guitars at every song that he needed to use it and sang non-stop. I guess the best part was when he sang a medley of all the hits he used to write for other singers like Bobbi Brown, Tevin Campbell, Boyz II Men and so many more, followed by a medley of his own songs. When it ended, the crowd was screaming for more.

He did my ultimate favourite song, "When Will I See You Again" as his encore. It was amazing and at the last part, even funny as he changed the lyrics a little to suggest hooking up with someone from the audience haha... only those who were there could really relate to how hillarious that moment was... and I hated when my memory card became full that I didn't get to record his encore til the end.

The last song made it all very memorable to me because that is my very favourite and I would always repeat it everytime I have his CD on my stereo. That was also a song I gave to the one during our courtship and it was such a good feeling to suddenly be overwhelmed with warm feelings of the past.

Anyways, he sang to a full crowd and ended with a standing ovation. I totally loved the show, I love Babyface and it's such a wonderful experience to be able to see him live. He's not just a singer-songwriter but he is a great performer and if he still sings 20 years down the road, I would still probably be this 'randy' woman that the one calls me haha...

thanks, nicole, for accepting my invite... we both became 'randy' together haha...

The show by Babyface is his first stop for his Asian tour (yeay to Malaysia!). I know many of my friends will catch his show tonight in Jakarta but we all saw him first haha...

To those of you who didn't get to make it to this awesome show, I shall leave you with this superb rendition from one of the songs in his medley of those he wrote for other singers. He sang so many of them and sounded even better than the original! There will be more videos that I shall be posting in my youtube channel but it has been a full weekend for me and that could only be done later. For now, this video kinda represents a lot about his show. Enjoy!

Thank you MAS for bringing him into our shores, thank you Nicole for being my date and of course, thank you to my beloved for allowing me to go to his concert while he stays home babysitting.

The opening act for the show was by an 18-year old who's performance was very easy to forget (if Simon Cowell were to say that) and some string of songs by Najwa. I enjoyed Najwa's performance too and I thought she deserved to be in that same stage as Babyface. I like her soulful jazzy songs and I am impressed with her strong vocals, sounding very 'black'... a very talented singer and very experienced on stage as well. So, I guess I shall be following her developments and see how far she goes.

I saw a few of our local artistes as well who attended the event, and especially that lovely Natasha Hudson. Tasha, if you're still reading me after the last 'event' a couple of years back, I have some good gossips that I know you would use to your benefit. But... then again, I shall keep that piece of 'news' for ransom... just leave me your personal email ;P

Ooohhh... I am in love..................

Til You Do Me Right... I don't Even Want To Talk To You...

2010-03-03T07:48:00.009+08:00

If you're in my list of friends in facebook, you might either get infected with my current 'sickness' or you might think that I am crazy. Haha...

Yes........ I am in love, currently... so in love.

With the recent distasteful affliction brought on to my family, we've all agreed that the experience has made us even stronger. With the one getting his spirits back after a PS3 binge, I on the other hand found an email by Malaysia Airlines Enrich an avenue to rid off those negative energy and stress. The email was timely, notifying me of a 20% discount for tickets to Babyface Live in KL concert this Friday! Woohoo...!!

Now, I have never really been that eager to go to any concerts simply because I don't quite like getting into overly crowded places and I always felt that listening to their albums is sufficient. But I dunno... with all that's happened recently, I just felt that I needed to do something to make me feel all swell again, and take care of myself the way no one else would.

So, yeah... I am treating myself to this exciting event and am so happy that my best friend, Nicole, has agreed to accompany me to this concert. Gosh, I am still so elated with this whole thing... and it's funny that even she wasn't aware of Babyface coming to town. And since my car only plays MJ's hits due to little jj's demand for familiarity as she's gotten so hooked on to his songs, I have been going into youtube to get my dose of Babyface while I work on my computer. I know I am so gonna cry my heart out this Friday to let go of any sorrows in my heart but especially because his songs and voice are just so beautiful to listen to... I am sure those memories of the past will come flooding especially when I think of those close friends of mine who grew with me during my uni years when listening to Babyface (and falling in love with him!) was something we shared together :)

The one asked me why he wasn't the first person I thought of to accompany me to the concert... *erkksss* and he laughed instantly when I asked him to sing some of the songs from Babyface haha... gotcha. I can't possibly let him see me drool over Babyface and it's good to know that he know nuts about any of his songs haha....

And while I got them tickets for this Friday at 1 Utama's Axcess ticket outlet, I decided to also treat the entire family for a much deserved outing.

can't wait to see the sparkle in little jj's eyes... it will also be the 2nd time for my [not so] little munchkin ;)

And while I count the hours to this Friday, would like to share with you one of the songs written by Babyface that has always been my personal favourite. I've share so many videos on my facebook page but those were songs sung by him... this one's by After 7.

No, I am not pregnant.

2010-02-26T10:57:00.005+08:00

So, to friends who already knew and those who didn’t, I am not pregnant but was about to adopt.

In the midst of those news everywhere in our country of babies being murdered, burnt to death even, we were approached with a problem… of a baby born out of wedlock, the mother who’s unable to care for her due to it being a big sin in the eyes of our society and of her family who wouldn’t want to bear the public humiliation.

I think while some people think it is a noble intention to take in another stranger’s baby to raise as your own, others probably think it is a glorified sacrifice… that one probably does this to portray oneself as a hero to everybody. I don’t think that is a fair statement, although everyone has the right to his or her opinions.

First of all, the intention to adopt doesn’t come very easily. One would have to know that they’re prepared to face so many risks and consequences. For the one and I, we saw the positive side of it first. We saw how so much more conducive the environment can be for the baby to grow up with us, how much both parents could shower the baby with the love she deserves and the security and stability that we would have provided for her.

Don’t get me wrong, I always believed that the best person to raise a baby is her own mother. A mother’s love can never be replaced. A mother can do anything to protect her child where in this case, the mother initially thought something she couldn’t handle.

In our Asian society where a woman is always expected to take care of her pride and self respect, a lot of these women are shunned from the society as they are seen to have made the gravest mistake of their lives. Our Malay society would more often judge them for being easy and families would disown them. Hence, the reason why the so many recent cases of babies being left to die by their own mother.

While some of us continue to judge them, we, on the other hand, were only thinking about the baby. Yes, it was none of our business as it wasn’t our mess, but since we were called in when this situation occurred, what else could we have done. Of course, we could have just closed one eye and pretended that we didn’t have to care but I dunno… as a mother myself and seeing how innocent the baby looked in the picture, I can’t help but to feel for her and offered a solution which I knew was doable.

The mental and physical preparation for parents to adopt cannot be taken so lightly. First of all, we would have already prepared ourselves mentally to raise the baby as our own. More often than not, a lot of parents out there who adopt, wouldn’t want to tell society that their baby is adopted. They would want to say it’s theirs because of many reasons, more specifically as they want to keep providing that security for the baby and to ensure that they are always fair in how they treat all their children. For us, we went a little over board in our excitement as if we were getting a baby of our own. We’ve prepared everything needed for the baby to be as comfortable as possible in our care and we've notified those significant to us, to avoid questions later.

We only had about 1 week to prepare and although we already have so many clothes and stuff of little jj’s, we still went all out to get new stuff for her since I felt that the new baby deserves some new stuff.

We’ve even made the little munchkin understand about the arrival of the new baby and why it is important to treat her as a family member. In fact, the little munchkin was even willing to give up his room to his 2 sisters and we transformed our office into a room that’s adequate enough for him. After all, we only had 1 week but once we have set our mind into something, we went all out into making sure we were prepared for the baby’s arrival. Heck, we were even discussing about changing my soccermom car to a 7-seater MPV just so that we could accommodate more people, when the need arise.

It’s like, when you put your mind into something, we were willing to do what it takes. All these at top of our mind, always knowing that one day, the mother would want to look for her child and the child, upon understanding why there is no information of the father on her birth certificate, would question her existence and her rights to the truth.

Yes, we were aware of all these. We were. And that mental preparation is something that we’ve conditioned ourselves, and the immediate families that were to be our best support system.

But… in the end… I guess you can only help those who want to help themselves. I guess in some cases like this, where the family initially only cared about how society would look upon their family, once they have seen the baby, all that disappeared. Decisions can change and you would also come across those characters who were silent and weren’t even considered in the initial decision making process, claiming their willingness to take the baby into their care.

So, in the end, it became what everyone else felt. Decisions were made not for the best interest of the baby but what everyone else wanted.

I am not disappointed at the mother changing her mind after we have taken care of the baby because as a mother, I fully understand how much pain she must have felt after carrying the baby full term. I am only disappointed at how everything turned out in the end… that process when the baby was taken away from our care.

Frankly, we felt relieved that the mother changed her mind before we became too attached to the baby but the fact that those involved who had initially welcomed our help made us look like we rushed everything and took the baby without the mother’s consent, was totally unnecessary.

I know all these are just excuses to justify whatever mistake they must have made before they came to this current decision but it is totally unfair to us. It is not easy to agree to something like this. I never asked for any acknowledgement on our part but we were never prepared to be treated this way after all that has happened.

This has seriously taught us a priceless lesson in life. For me, as I’ve told the one, I would like for him to restrain me everytime I get too emotionally involved in one’s problems when they come to me for help. Hey, I am a passionate woman, and that is how I live my life but this was a big slap in my face and I totally regret getting my family involved in it.

I know, as some said to me that this is a blessing in disguise… yes, I am very sure of that. But this was totally avoidable in the first place, if I hadn’t opened my mouth to volunteer. The fact that we we’re supposed to be the good guys suddenly left us as mean, inconsiderate people to the family, was totally uncalled for. So, I ask you, why do these people do what they do? Why is it that such good intentions is easily forgotten and taken lightly? Why do people conveniently blame those offering the solution they initially wanted and turn everything around into their drama?

You all know how it is when I get super protective of my family… there goes my mother cat mode with the fangs and claws and all… I detest the way it turned out in the end because I believed that things could have been handled in a more civilised way – where the mom could tell us truthfully right from the start of her change of heart, and her family could just take the baby away from us, apologise for whatever mess and we would have understood. After all, we didn’t go looking for a baby to adopt in the first place. It came to us.

This has seriously changed the way we look at life now. I know I have always told myself to not get involved in people’s issues that easily. But if you were in my shoes then, at the time when there were tears all around and looking at the subject’s photo, you would have at least felt for the baby.

Still, as the one told me, it isn’t even ours to begin with and that we shouldn’t really care. But this is the baby that will live to the day to even become friends with little jj in the future and I cringe to note how easy adults make decisions for a life who doesn’t even understand what's going on around her.

Ya ya… I keep hearing the voice at the back of my head saying this is none of my business. So, I am keeping it that way. Now that the baby’s back with her family, we would all need to pick up where we left and move on.

With what’s happened, I started to fully realise how much more important it is to take care of my own family. How much my family means so much to me and how I may have forgotten about what some other member of the family would have felt with the sacrifices that he/she needed to make, to accommodate to my desire to help another life. It isn’t right and we all need to be selfish the way others are selfish in their intentions.

We are glad that this episode is over and done with, with a deep scar in our hearts. I only hope that the baby is raised well to be a positive character in our society. But yeah, there goes that voice again, it is none of my business and wasn't mine in the first place.